Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



Keep Fightin' The Good Fight.

     Hi, my name is Jenelle and sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible human and I think outlandish, silly billy thoughts like, "Man, I am going to bed early! I might even go to bed at 8 o'clock." And then I don't and stay up and watch "Lost" and make bracelets like every other single girl does on a Tuesday night and think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my time but I just can't bring myself to do these things because I live with my parents and I'm just not motivated by my own self interest and believe it or not, both of these things are very limiting on a person's actions. Welcome to my life.
     My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?

1. First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done. 
2. Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
3. Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming. 
4. Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah? 
5. If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.

     So, that's my piece. Take from it what you will, dawg. I'm really not trying to offend any feminists with this post or start any weird stuff. I completely support any person who supports equality, I just think that sometimes we need to reevaluate the ways in which we're offering information and adjust accordingly. We need to take other peoples' feelings into account and just try to tell as many people about our cause as possible in a totally rational and approachable way. I hope this post made sense and I hope it maybe offered some information to those who are still unsure about the concept of feminism and all the magical, beautiful, witch-crafty powers it holds! I'd love any sort of questions or comments so get at me, kids. Thanks for the read! Peace...

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

PEOPLE OF THE WEEK.

     So, hi. I know I wrote a post yesterday, but it's Saturday (no work) and I have the plague (no health) or something so here we go! Round two! Wudup!
     I have two people that I want to talk about today.
     Person #1. Hannah from "Girls". If you haven't seen "Girls", you are actually missing out on a very important part of life. I didn't watch it for a while based solely on hipster principle. I hadn't yet seen "Girls" for the same reasons that I haven't seen "Downton Abbey" or "Sons of Anarchy". I've already got "The Walking Dead" and "Adventure Time" to worry about, you know? My hipster TV show cred is, like, through the roof as it is. But I was talking to my cool friend the other day about "Girls" and she was all like, "You have to watch it! It's actually like hanging out with friends, it's not even a TV show." And that had me convinced. So, coincidentally (I'm thinking my friend gave me this illness on purpose), I got insanely sick over the last few days and became confined to my bed. I started "Girls" and I finished it in two days. It's actually one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. The story line is pretty similar to "Sex and the City", which is a planned thing, I think. Four girls living in New York, trying to figure their lives out and dealing with men along the way. But there's something about it that pulls you in. Maybe it is the hipster aspect that's attractive - fashionable clothes, tattoos, drugs, well-read teenagers - but part of me feels that it's the honesty. These girls actually just have no sense of which way is up. There's a certain existentialist/absurdist quality to the show. Shit just happens from one moment to the next and no one has any idea what's coming their why or why anything happens. Sometimes conversations between people go on for a little too long, to the point where it's uncomfortable, but that just makes it all the more real. And HANNAH. Hannah is a piece of work. I've never seen a protagonist who's more like myself in my entire life (Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a close second, but that's a book, so yeah). She's anxious all the time about everything and she's so weird! She's actually just so abnormal that it makes her insanely attractive to watch. Also, speaking of attraction, since this show is on HBO, we know there's a whole lot of sex. And normally, when we watch these types of programs, the women who are completely naked are perfect and sweaty and glistening and well-proportioned. Hannah isn't. Hannah has small breasts and some extra cushioning around the middle and tattoos that depict scenes from children's books and honestly, I've never wanted to be someone as badly as I want to be Hannah. She's so unbelievably sexy. She's perfect in the most confusing way. I've never seen anyone who loves to eat cupcakes as much as her or has as much OCD. She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her; she's so confident, it's unreal. I admire her character so thoroughly. She's the perfect role model for women. She's chubby, she wears what she likes, she cares about her work an incredible amount, she thinks she's beautiful, she explores/is comfortable with her sexuality, she cares about what she wants above what others want and she just generally doesn't give a fuck. And I think she's great.
     Person #2: Macklemore. That guy. Macklemore. My best friend and I were in a choir in 2011 where we met these awesome people and we bonded hard. How did we bond so hard, you ask? Music and thrift shopping. No joke. Before it was "hip", we went to Value Village with a handful of other choristers and we rocked the shit out of teal, floor-length trench coats. We were about to head to the same choir with the same group of wonderful people in 2012 when about a week before, one of these crazy kids sent us a link to "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and we all cried a little bit, I think. It was our theme song. (Also, choir Value Village trip version 2012 consisted of fur. A shit ton of fur.) Of course, now, it's disgustingly overplayed and everything, but I'll have a special connection to that song forever because of my best friends and our memories. After hearing "Thrift Shop", I had to see what the rest of Macklemore's stuff sounded like and I've come to the conclusion that Macklemore, in and of himself, is a fucking revolution. After "Thrift Shop" did it's thing, radio stations started playing "Same Love". If you haven't heard that song, here: http://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0
This song, without a doubt, has done wonders for the self-esteem and confidence of LGBTQ people all over the world. I've never heard a rap song, actually, any song for that matter, so obviously supporting the rights of homosexual people in such a forward way. Past these two songs, Macklemore just gets better. There isn't a song on his album that doesn't mean something to someone on an incredibly deep level. Whether you're dealing with sexuality, a tough break-up, religion, drug abuse, etc., Macklemore has got you covered. And besides the incredible content of his songs, the way he raps is really personal. There's this feeling I get from listening to his music that make me feel as though we're having a one-on-one conversation. It makes me feel a lot less lonely. Overall, I think he's one of the most amazing musicians of our time and "The Heist" is a fucking masterpiece and if you don't own it, you are missing out on a great, big, beautiful thing. Thank you, Macklemore, for the beautiful controversy you've acknowledged in our society and for helping some of us kids get through the shit we can't get through alone.
     Well, I'm gonna go cough up all of my organs now and I'll probably end up writing another post later. I'd really like some emails or something to look at whilst lying on my death bed, so if y'all have anything to say about what I say, any ideas for things that I could write about, or cute cat videos, I'm in. Thank you for reading my blog. You're really nice.