Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



Keep Fightin' The Good Fight.

     Hi, my name is Jenelle and sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible human and I think outlandish, silly billy thoughts like, "Man, I am going to bed early! I might even go to bed at 8 o'clock." And then I don't and stay up and watch "Lost" and make bracelets like every other single girl does on a Tuesday night and think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my time but I just can't bring myself to do these things because I live with my parents and I'm just not motivated by my own self interest and believe it or not, both of these things are very limiting on a person's actions. Welcome to my life.
     My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?

1. First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done. 
2. Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
3. Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming. 
4. Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah? 
5. If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.

     So, that's my piece. Take from it what you will, dawg. I'm really not trying to offend any feminists with this post or start any weird stuff. I completely support any person who supports equality, I just think that sometimes we need to reevaluate the ways in which we're offering information and adjust accordingly. We need to take other peoples' feelings into account and just try to tell as many people about our cause as possible in a totally rational and approachable way. I hope this post made sense and I hope it maybe offered some information to those who are still unsure about the concept of feminism and all the magical, beautiful, witch-crafty powers it holds! I'd love any sort of questions or comments so get at me, kids. Thanks for the read! Peace...

The World, Man.

     Hello! Man, I miss this blog. I've decided that I'm actually going to start forcing myself to write at least once a week a) because I feel like I'm a large asshole for being so lazy about something that I really care about, and b) it'll just make me a better writer in the long run, so I think that's important for my career and life and all that jazz. I'm also going to start posting all of my blog spurts on Facebook so they're more easily accessible and the poor users of the internet don't have to sleaze around looking for my posts, because I feel like that's too much work for something with such minimal progress. Evan reads this blog, though, so, you rule, Evan. Keep being you.
    For those of you who don't know me very well/aren't close to me personally/have better things to do than know where I am, I'm in Pennsylvania, USA. I'm here for two weeks with my family and it's been fresh. My family is neat and I like that I get to spend so much time with them. So, my family has been really nice. America, on the other hand, I'm not too sure about. I'm going to try to write this in the least offensive sense I can possibly muster from inside my brain because I'm not trying to be offensive, this is just an observation of a Canadian visitor.
     Now, I've been to the USA before and I've done my thing. But this time has been different. In my other American experiences, I've been with Canadians. I've been with a shit ton of Canadian teenagers who didn't give a fuck and just kept on being Canadian and didn't talk to any Americans to a large extent and it was totally fine. We saw the sights and we danced the dance and it was all fine and good. Such is not the case on this trip. I've had long, extended conversations with at least seven Republicans and it was really hard, guys. I guess my issue here is not with America (it's kind of with America - I'll talk about that later on), but with this mindset that the people I spoke to have. There are two things that they stressed more than anything during our conversations: God and war. I won't be discussing God because freedom of religion, amirite? During this trip, I read "1984" by George Orwell and there literally could not have been a more relevant book to read. There were a few times when I actually had to get up and leave a conversation because I couldn't stand to be around people that talked this way. It legitimately scared me to hear it. First off, let me give you some background: every single person I had talked to had served in the military. Coming from Canada, this is not something you regularly hear about. In fact, I only know, personally, one person from Canada who served in the military. These were seven different people who ALL happened to serve. All of these men were Republicans who saw the military as their responsibility. They believed that it was up to them to "kill for their freedom". That's a real live quote. You hear about this stuff in movies and books and junk, but actually meeting a person, MULTIPLE PEOPLE, who believed that this (freedom) is still an issue blew my mind. I understand defense to a degree, and I know that America might be in danger, but freedom is really not a thing anymore. We're as free as we're going to be over here, you know? And if anything is holding Americans back from more freedom, it's only their regressive attitude in terms of where their country is at politically. I just don't understand this want for invasion. One man told me a story of his son who had been driving in a convoy of military vehicles. The first vehicle was suddenly struck by a suicide bomber in a car. The men were fine. They found out later that the vehicle behind them had caught the whole thing on tape. In the corner of the screen as they were watching back, they saw that an innocent civilian on a bike had been blown to pieces. His son laughed as he was telling the story, like it was a joke. I'm not trying to make these people sound evil, nor am I making any excuse for them by writing this part, I'm just stating a fact. I talked to my family members that I'm travelling with about the attitude that these people have, and they told me to let it go. "Oh yeah, you know, women are still paid 30 cents less an hour than men and a rape occurs every nine minutes in India, but whatever, I think I'll just let that go." No. It made me sick. Like, the whole of the human race and it's health and future didn't, in fact, depend on America getting it's giant ass military nose out of places it doesn't belong. This mindset is creating monsters, you know? We're feeding the war machine. There is no doubt in my mind that these men were brainwashed into thinking this kind of behavior was normal for Americans; American soldiers, especially. Like this is how Americans are supposed to act. I was told (I didn't know this and I feel like this is something that people should learn in their Social Studies classes) that soldiers on the front line will never in their lives know how many people they have killed while on duty. A lot of meat-eaters are okay with eating meat as long as it's in the form of a hamburger with cheese and they don't have to go out with a bow and arrow, murdering their prey themselves. Ignorance is bliss, right? Of course being in the military is okay, as long as it's like a video game. As long as you can shoot for hours and hours and never know the damage you've done. I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful, I'm actually just genuinely worried about what kind of people this process is creating. How can a person come back from this? Can they?
     When I was younger and told that America and Canada were allied, I thought that was really nice. In my child-like brain I thought, "Man, it is so cool of the USA to let Canada be friends with them. They are so important." On a drive home from a relative's house, I was trying to think of an analogy for the way I feel about the relationship between America and Canada now (in strict terms of government actions and political policies - I'm definitely not referring to the people of America as a whole), and I figured it out. Canada and America are sisters. They've grown up beside each other, sharing ideas and borrowing clothes and food and money from each other. America is the younger sister and sometimes she can be grumpy. She gets jealous of Canada, and Asia, and Africa because they have things that she doesn't have, like diamonds and silk, etc. America then throws a tantrum. At first, Canada tries to help and calm her down. Canada tries to negotiate a deal with America so that she'll stop freaking out, but it doesn't work. After a while, and after many episodes, Canada has finally given up and she just lets America do what she needs to do, even if that means taking every single thing she can from Asia and Africa and all the other girls in the world. Of course, Canada still loves America and is there for her when she needs help, but Canada has learned to just look on with a knowing smirk.
     I know that there are many parts of America that are abundant with people who have different ideas and knowledge. Some of the most amazing inventions and theories have come out of America. I would love to see as much of the USA as I possibly can before I die. This blog post wasn't written to force everyone in America into a box. This post was written to make people take a step back and think about this shit. Does America need a military? Why do they need a military? Did they, in fact, bring all of this turmoil upon themselves? Does Canada need a military? Why are we still fighting? Why aren't people questioning the government and each other?
     This is the stuff that runs through my mind. These are all merely thoughts and things that I've come across during my experience here. Again, offending any American people is the last thing I'm trying to do. This isn't aimed at people, this is aimed at policy. All I'm trying to do is create a thought process about these issues because I think they're important. You can disagree with me, agree with me, be furious at me - whatever. Just think about it and comment if you want! Thanks for the read.
   

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

It's Time To Do Something About This Shit.

     So, it has been recently brought to my attention that we live in the fucking stone age.
     I honestly can't even begin to describe how infuriated I am by the fact that it's 2013 and women are STILL continuously disrespected in society every single day. It's gotten to the point where it can't even be called disrespect anymore, you know? We might as well be getting spit on every five minutes.
     A sixteen year-old girl got drunk at a party. She passed out and was then raped and violated, not just once, but repeatedly, by several boys. And now she's being blamed. The "Steubenville" case. This girl probably woke up the morning of the party and thought, "I'm so excited!", because who doesn't like parties, right? She probably spent all day trying to decide what to wear. She probably knew she looked fantastic. She just wanted to have a good time. I doubt that she ever thought, "You know, there's a possibility that I could have permanent psychological damage after tonight."And now she does.
     I can't even write this without crying. Forget for a second that she's a girl. What human deserves that kind of treatment? I'm so upset. This doesn't even have anything to do with feminism for me right now (I'll get into that later) - it has to do with the fact that human beings treated another human being as if she were a fucking thing. Not a human, but an object. And you know what the worst part about it is? Worse than what they did to her, worse than how she feels, worse than all of that? This happens thousands of times every fucking day. Over and over and over. The worst part about it is that all of the things that happened in this one incident are being acted out continuously by heartless humans onto other humans that they treat like objects; like nothing. And the majority of the time, these incidents aren't even reported. That's what I can't get over: that this is something that's normal.
     I vow (and have vowed in the past) to never, ever hate men. Because I'm a feminist, and feminists don't hate men or women or any one specific group of people. Feminists are about equality. I always write posts about how awesome women are and how beautiful women are, and the reason I don't write them about men isn't because I don't like men; it's because men know how awesome they are. A man in our society has a thousand times more power than any woman does. I don't know what it was in history (the idea of God being a man is my guess) that made people decide that men were more important or whatever, but it's not okay, you know? Especially in 2013. So, this is me saying to all men: Please use your power and strength in the best ways you possibly can. Women can do so many things for feminism and for ourselves, but nothing is going to really change if men don't listen to us. Please, for the love of everything in the world, listen to what we're saying. Men need feminism just as much as women need feminism. And women need men to want to help. We've got to do this together, guys. I can write as many blog posts about feminism as I want to, but if it's only women reading them, we're not getting the whole of society in on this and that's what we need. It's really discouraging to me that half of the men reading this (if there are any men reading this), don't know who Germaine Greer, Anais Nin or even Gloria Steinem are. Men aren't scared to go to the bathroom alone in fear of someone hiding in there who could easily hurt them. Men aren't scared of wearing short skirts because people assume that they're "asking for it". Look at how these men at this party used their power towards this girl. There's nothing worse to me than seeing such a corrupt group of young people who think this is completely acceptable. How can we let our children grow up in a society like this? People, of all genders, need to be protecting each other.
     This is completely scattered and all over the place, but I just have a lot of things to say and I'm too damn angry to put them in a nicer format.
     Ladies; I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that we have to deal with this every day. It makes me more upset than you can imagine. On top of everything else in our lives - school, work, kids, finances, etc. - we have to worry about how late it is when we walk home alone at night. In "Vagina", Naomi Wolf talks about how even the smallest sexual threat to a woman can harm her for years. She says that even if a woman is in a situation (fully clothed, with other women) where she feels even slightly sexually threatened, her brain (connected to her vagina and other sexual organs through a vast number of nerve systems) remembers and it's harder for her to enjoy her sexuality in an easy-going way. Women that are intensely sexually abused take years to recover and sometimes, they're never able to have healthy sexual relationships with anyone. The fact that this kind of psychological damage is being blamed on the victim in this case actually makes me want to throw up. Sexual abuse or assault is NEVER the fault of the victim. Ever. Consent is ALWAYS mandatory. Even if you're married, consent is in order. Even if a woman has been saying "yes" all day and then decides on a "no"at the last second, that has to be respected. Why shouldn't we be able to make decisions about what happens to our bodies? Someone else deciding for us doesn't make any sense! We all have brains and we're all extremely capable. I'm so frustrated.
     Women are goddesses. In ancient India, scripts were written about the importance of female pleasure. It was said that women carried a sort of psychological and physical medicine in their mouths, breasts, and vaginas and in order for men to live a full and healthy life, they had to give as much pleasure as possible to the women that they loved just to receive even an ounce of the goodness that a woman carries in her. Isn't that beautiful? I just don't know of anything more fascinating and lovely than the body and soul of a woman. We used to be so respected and important. Female sexuality used to be seen as a sort of mysterious gift to the world. Our bodies can do amazing things, you know? We can carry life for nine months. And we're being called sluts and hoes and being put into situations we don't want to be in and being forced to have sexual confrontations with which we're not comfortable. It's so sad. But, even through all of this bullshit, I know that I'm a goddess. I know that you're a goddess. I know your mother is a goddess, and your grandmother too. And the most important thing that we, as women, can do is to never, ever forget that. Always keep it in your heart, okay? Even when you're being called fat, or ugly, or you're getting paid less than your male co-workers. Be sure to tell your fellow women that they're intelligent and incredible and you admire their uteruses. We're amazing human beings and even though we don't always get the respect we deserve from society and from others, the least we can do is remember that and hold it dear to us. We deserve at least that.
     Tell every single person you know about feminism. That's the only way it's going to work.
   

You're a Human, I'm a Human. Just Be Nice.

     I'm trying to write a lot more regularly than I have been. I think it's important to write often. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to say and sometimes I don't, but I think it's important to put stuff down either way.
     I'm feeling really scatter brained today, and I don't think this is going to be long, so here we go. This post might be a little offensive to some readers, so use your discretion. If you don't like bad words, don't read it.
     I've been thinking a lot recently about a few specific words. Words that I've always known to be rude and harsh and hard to hear: "Cunt, Bitch, Pussy". Now, you might be cringing a little bit as you read that and I definitely don't blame you. All of those words just sound inappropriate and dirty to most people, which is completely normal. We've been conditioned to think of those words as scary and offensive. The main reason I started paying attention to those three words is because they all have something in common. I guess the first thing they have in common is that they might be the most offensive words we have in the English language. But I think the more important tie between all three is the fact that they ALL HAVE TO DO WITH WOMEN. 

What the fuck.

     I can't figure out why this never occurred to me before. All three of these words are associated with being a woman. Is that why they're offensive? Is that why it hurts boys' feelings so much when they get called a "pussy" while they're playing a game of hockey? Because it has to do with being a woman? I can't help but think that it does. There hasn't been a generation in our society yet to grow up with pure equality among the sexes. Sure, we're getting closer and closer every day, but everyone knows that we're not there yet. This is especially evident when these kind of insults are the most hurtful. And who even thinks about it, you know? I didn't even think about it until right now! Do you think your uncle ever thought to himself, "You know, this might really have negative societal consequences..." when he said to you, "You throw like a girl, dude!" Of course he didn't. We're conditioned to accept that that's the way things are. Women are weaker and of lesser value, therefore, being like a woman or similar to a woman, makes you weak and less of a person. Why else would people be so offended by the idea of being compared to a girl? I know for a fact that if someone told me I threw a ball like a man, I would feel powerful and unstoppable. Doesn't that make you sad? That there's such a HUGE gap between genders? Yes, women and men are different. Of course they're different, everyone knows that. But to see one gender as better than the other is a fucking disgrace. I can't express that enough.

     So, as a woman, I'd like to take back the word "bitch". The views of people aren't going to change overnight, of course, but if I start saying to my girl friends, "Chick, you're a strong bitch!", maybe it'll catch on. Who knows? All I know is that women need to start being proud of being women, and it's hard to do that when we're constantly hearing, "You fucking pussy!", "You lost to a girl? That's embarrassing", "Grow up, you're such a little bitch", etc. So the next time you hear someone use a word that is associated with women in a derogatory way, maybe say, "Hey dude, that's not cool. Use a different word." Just defend your gender, ladies. You know you deserve respect. 

     In other news, I just found out that there's a conspiracy theory behind "Adventure Time" that says the show is set in a post-apocolyptic universe and that's why it's a big deal that Finn is a human, because he's the last one, and Jake is the result of some radioactive explosion or something. Best show ever. 

     I still haven't started a food blog because I'm still trying to get my life together. I might just start posting pictures of food off of the internet that make me really hungry. That would be good, right?

     Anyways, thank you for reading this. I really, really, really appreciate the time of anyone who even looks over what I say. This is my favourite thing to do and it really means a lot to me that people care enough to read through it. Take care. 

The Definition of Activism: Malala Yousafzai.

     On October 9, Malala Yousafzai, an activist for the rights of women and education, was shot in the head and neck by a Taliban soldier on her way home from school. She's fifteen-years old.
     There's really nothing to say except that I'm absolutely amazed. I'm so amazed that someone so young can be so strong and ready to put her life on the line for something she believes in. I've talked about Greenpeace in the past and how all of the people on the Sea Shepherd are putting their lives in danger every day for something they believe in, and it's incredible! But these people are mostly middle-aged and they've had a lot of time to develop their ideas and prepare themselves for the consequences that may come as a result of their actions. And I definitely don't mean to belittle their actions by talking about their age. They're still doing amazing things and I will always commend them for that.
     But, Malala. She's fifteen! I personally don't know any fifteen-year old that knows exactly what she believes in and puts her whole being into that purpose. I honestly don't know any fifteen-year old that believes in anything 100%. She's barely had the time to develop her beliefs (I know this because I've barely had any time to develop mine), she's just doing what she knows is right and I can't think of anything more incredible than that.I can't believe the bravery and courage it must take her every day to wake up, knowing full well that she could be attacked at any moment, and still standing tall with her head held high, fighting her cause with everything she is.
     Malala is so strong and important and rebellious that the whole entirety of the Taliban can't handle her bravery. They were scared of this fifteen-year old girl. In their eyes, this little girl was winning and they had to eliminate her. She was winning! Can you believe that? She is so strong that she made the Taliban uncomfortable. Because of their fear, the Taliban has vowed that if she makes a recovery, they won't hesitate to kill her.
     I'm ashamed of myself. I know I have a lot of time to develop my beliefs, go to school and make a change, but I feel like that's not an excuse. Maybe Malala acted so soon in her life simply because she thought she didn't have much time. Or maybe she just loved school more than anything and felt that the opportunity of education for children in her country was more important than her safety. Either way, I'm ashamed of the fact that I live in Canada, said by many to be the safest place on Earth, and I haven't done anything. I haven't sacrificed anything. I haven't exercised my rights to free speech the way I should be, I haven't written Stephen Harper a letter telling him how thoroughly I despise him, I haven't protested in front of the Legislative Building to let them know how much I disagree with the lack of transparency in our government, and the list goes on. I feel that I'm taking advantage of my situation. Like, I'm just sitting here, complaining about everything and not taking any action. And I'm ashamed.
     I hate that it's taken something so drastic happening to someone so fragile for me to realize the action I need to take. Because of Malala, I vow to do more. I vow to do as much as I possibly can. I feel that I owe it to her to stand up for what I believe in.
     This post may not seem very structured or anything, but the reason I wrote it was to simply say: Thank you, Malala for your unbelievable sacrifice. I've never been more in awe of someone than I am of you right now. You understand what it means to follow your dreams and do what you believe in. Thank you for speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. Everyone should be more like you.