ELLE WOODS IS SO BOSS

     You know when people tell you sitting on the couch and watching movies is a waste of time? They're absolutely 100% wrong because you can learn EVERYTHING from movies (slightly untrue, but I'm going with it). I first watched Legally Blonde when I was probably ten years-old and of course at the time I was like, ten, and obviously not super aware of what was going on, but I remember liking Elle because she was smart and wore nice clothes. If you haven't seen/read Legally Blonde, for god sakes this is 2014 (I'm not actually mad but you should go watch it), do yourself a favour and open yourself up to POP CULTURE. I just finished watching it and I am so hyped because Elle Woods is a perfect role model and AH I am just so stoked!
     So for all my movie h8ers (I'm just bugging you) in the crowd, here's why this movie is perfect and why I'm, like, convulsing in excitement right now. Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, is the protagonist and she looks like this:

     Stunning. Now, normally I wouldn't talk about a protagonist's looks but the whole movie is basically about judgy people being super judgy assholes, so I just thought I'd give you that visual for context. Here's a quick summary of the story, then I'll elaborate. Elle is from LA and she's a stereotypical, rich valley girl with amazing manners and gorgeous hair. She falls in love with Warner, who then goes to Harvard and breaks up with Elle. Elle applies to Harvard Law (wow) and goes to get Warner back. After learning that Warner has a new not-so-nice fiancé at Harvard, Elle is crushed, gets her nails done, makes friends with her manicurist, and then continues to fight for Warner. After learning that Warner thinks she's stupid, Elle is determined to kick ass and she does. She gets an internship under one of her professors and works really, really hard. After this professor makes a pass at Elle (gross), she second guesses herself and almost gives up. But she comes back, gets this professor fired, takes his position and continues to, once again, kick ass. Now, let me begin.

     Elle was in a sorority in LA. She references it often and you can tell that it's something she really cares about. Throughout the movie, it's apparent that her passion for sisterhood extends past the walls of the sorority house. To begin with, she makes friends with her manicurist, Paulette Bonafonte, almost immediately (they bond over getting their hearts broken, but a) who doesn't? and b) Hollywood can't give us everything we want yet). She helps Paulette to take control of her sexuality and what she wants by teaching her the infamous "bend and snap". Elle and Paulette become really close and Elle is always there for her. Another example of Elle's commitment to her sisters happens with her client. Belonging to the same sorority as Elle, the client told Elle her alibi but made her promise not to tell anyone else. Even though the case could've been easily solved with the alibi, Elle kept her promise and solved the case without it, proving that she's an awesome person and also a really good lawyer. The final example of Elle being amazing comes from her interactions with Warner's new fiancé. At first, Elle is curt and unpleasant because of the classic patriarchal competition between women over men (gag) but as time progresses and Elle begins to focus more on her work, their differences kind of disappear and they become friends. Overall, Elle is just being a really fucking nice person to almost everyone she comes into contact with. She creates bonds really fast and stays true to what she says, and I think that is so admirable. 

     Elle also doesn't take any shit whatsoever and I think that is sooooo underrated. We grow up being taught to be nice to everyone and have manners, and Elle portrays that really well, as I've just discussed. She's nice to everyone except for people who fuck her over, and that's something that a lot of people, including myself are missing in their lives. Of course it's important to be kind to people, but it's equally as important to stand up for yourself when people take advantage of/walk all over you. After Warner tells Elle that she "isn't smart enough", she proves him wrong. And when he tries to get her back, she calls him a "bonehead" and moves on. THANK YOU ELLE WOODS for responding to an awful comment with productivity and self-respect. There is nothing better than that. Elle takes it to the next level when she gets her boss fired. All she had to do was tell her friends what he did to her, they supported her and helped her, and she ended up taking his place. She thought about running away but she didn't and that is so powerful. If Legally Blonde teaches you nothing else, please just take from it that it is possible to handle shitty people in a mature and responsible way (i.e. "bonehead) and move on with your life instead of carrying on anger that could have been dealt with immediately.

     At the end of the movie, Elle gives a speech. In it she says two things that really stuck out to me: "Remember that first impressions are not always correct" and "YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF".  This first impressions business could literally translate to any person you meet in the whole world. DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. It is so ignorant and ridiculous to think that you know a person without even trying to see who they really are. We're all guilty of doing this at some point, I'm sure, but it is so BAD. And finally, having faith in yourself is the single best thing a person can do. Being nice, having friends, loving others, respecting others; those are all important things, but doing what you need to do to be happy is number one, always. That's what I believe anyways. It is okay to be confident, to love yourself, and to respect yourself. There is nothing wrong with that and anyone who tries to make you feel differently deserves to be called a bonehead, big time.

     Elle Woods is everything that I want my future daughter to see. Yes, she exemplifies completely every one of those stupid white girl stereotypes that are so famously talked about on the internet right now, but christ, that whole "white girls like pumpkin spice lattes and UGGs" thing is so racist. It's important to acknowledge that Elle is obviously privileged but she faces a lot of struggles and sees them through, female jealousy and sexual assault included, and things like these most likely stem from being a woman, not from being white. Stereotypes aside (as they should be - always), I think Elle is a perfect role model. She knows that she loves reading Cosmopolitan and getting her nails done and she knows just because she wants to be taken seriously as a lawyer doesn't mean she has to sacrifice any part of herself. She knows and understands completely that men are not entitled to her body, but she also isn't scared to express her sexuality in ways that she feels comfortable doing. She respects people always, no matter how different they are from her. She knows herself and knows what she wants and it is so damn INSPIRING. 

     All I have left to say is just go watch this movie so maybe all of my rambles will make sense. ELLE 4 PREZ. Goodnight.

Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

The "V" Word.

     Good morning, dudes! This is something different for me - I usually don't write in the morning. But, I have the day off, it's sunny outside, and I don't want to deal with my actual real life/my problems. So, here we go.
     I've been thinking about "slut-shaming" a lot lately. Now, if y'all don't know what this means, the definition of "slut-shaming" is: "the act of making a woman feel guilty for displaying certain sexual behaviours that aren't typical to traditional gender roles." It can also be used to define the way that some women are blamed for their own rapes and sexual assaults based on the clothes that they were wearing or their previously sexually forward manner. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for clarifying.) Obviously, this is gross. I can't believe that after all of the research done on women and the reproductive systems of women explaining our ability to have multiple orgasms and our bodies' insatiable desire for sex, we are STILL put under this stigma that we are surely, generally, "non-sexual" beings, and that if a woman is very sexual it is out of character. That is just so damn silly. Give me a break. The worst part about it, I think, is not this, but the fact that individual women can't do whatever they want sexually without being judged for it, you know? Like, maybe I have two friends and one of them is a "virgin" (by that, I mean having had no sexual experiences; I will discuss my views on virginity later on) and has no desire to have sex whatsoever and the other is a flaming sex pot. Both of them are going to be judged based on their choices due to things such as age, career choice, religion, etc., but most of all, gender. It's so wrong! If my two friends are both happy with the way they're living their lives, then why should they have to change simply because of what other people want them to do? They're being put under this blanket statement that says women are supposed to want sex these ways, this is how women should be satisfied, and anything more or less is completely unacceptable.
     This takes me on to my "Anti-Person of the Week" portion of my blog post. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, Taylor Swift. This will be a small portion, since the only things I have to say are absolutely negative and what I'm trying to get at here is pretty plain. Usually, I don't like to hate on people, and I'm sure that (maybe?) Swift's mind could be changed if she were more educated, but for now, here we go. From the way she believes that fifteen year-old girls are all vulnerable, unassuming, and naive (listen to "Fifteen"), to her classic slut-shaming antics ("she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" - therefore, she's obviously better, more pure, and less "slutty"), I've learned that T Swift is just a sad little person who got caught up in the terrible labels and discriminations that society is so insistent on handing out. In an interview, Swift was once asked if she identifies as a feminist. Her reply was simple; "I believe in equality, but I'm not a feminist." Well, I think that deserves a round of applause, don't you? First, indoctrinating little girls with your slut-shaming lyrics and then refusing to identify as a feminist because of the negative connotations? Bravo, Swift. You're a fucking winner.
     Lastly, I'd like to talk about the ridiculous concept of "virginity". Children are raised (especially religious children) with this title bestowed upon them. They are "virgins". "Virgins" are pure and completely void of sin. And once a "virgin" is ready to get married or bear children, his/her "virginity" is lost by having vaginal/penile intercourse, but, because it's through love and matrimony and between a man and a woman, that makes it okay. Now, in reality, this is what "virginity" looks like: You're fourteen and you find yourself in the woods with a certain boy/girl at a birthday party and things happen with hands and mouths and you're discovering your sexuality and it's lovely and exciting and new, but when it's over, you're left wondering, "Wait - am I still a virgin?" And then perhaps you feel guilty or dirty, because you feel as though some of your "purity" is gone and you're not sure if that's the way the concept of "virginity" is supposed to work. I just want to take a second and say, FUCK VIRGINITY (LOL. Pun not intended). It isn't real. The way that we are lead to believe that our bodies are for one person and one person only, that we can only "lose it" through one specific act (what about homosexuals?) at one specific time when we're all married up, but that other similar acts may tarnish our pure, white souls. Guys, this isn't right. This isn't the way the world works and I don't think being "pure" is something that should define how we feel about ourselves based on our sexuality or what we choose to do with our sexuality. I'm not saying that saving oneself for marriage is wrong; if you think that's for you, then do your thing, dude. What I'm saying is that it's terrible that adolescents feel as though they're ruining a part of themselves that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST by exploring what their bodies and hearts are curious about. There's nothing wrong with becoming, or not becoming, sexual beings in whatever way we decide to do so, and the only thing that "virginity" does for these people that are exploring is make them feel guilty about a part of their natural minds and bodies that they can't control. Also, if the concept of being a virgin didn't exist, then the chances of women being "slut-shamed" (by Taylor Swift and others) would be a lot less. There would be no ideal sexual being to compare these "sluts" to if we all just accepted that people choose to do what they want with their bodies and that's okay. So, that's why I think "purity" and "virginity" are a load of shit.
     I hope you all have a nice day. I'm out.
     

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

I'm Always Serious And Angry, Okay? Eat It.

      "Magic Mike." Remember that? Gosh, that movie was a big fucking deal for a while. I have a lot of mixed emotions about it. Wanna hear them? Cool.
     So, my initial reaction was all like, "Hey! A movie about male strippers! Finally!" I had this reaction because I thought it was kind of neat that men were finally being looked at the way women have been looked at for years and years and years. I thought it was cool that there was a sort of equality in this regard, if that makes sense. After a while, though, I realized that other women weren't really thinking about it like this. They weren't really thinking about it in terms of equality. They liked that there were just naked men up on their TVs, dancing around in front of them that they didn't have to know or talk to or necessarily like at all, for that matter. Women were objectifying men. And I get it, you know? It's hard (pun not intended) to not be into stuff like that when you're a sexual being. But there has to be a line, and I drew the damn line: I didn't ever watch it.
     I felt wrong about it; the whole concept. I didn't know how I could justify looking at those kind of images when objectification of women makes me so uncomfortable. And the fact that so many people were okay with a movie like this pisses me off. First of all, men. Guys. I know that you were uncomfortable with this movie. You were uncomfortable with your girlfriends watching it. You were uncomfortable because Channing Tatum has the body of a god and you "don't" (you do, I just mean in the eyes of a society that hates normal-looking bodies - you're beautiful). Come on, guys. Women have had to deal with scantily clad women with guns in their garter belts, Lara Croft, the obligatory "I-run-around-in-panties" girl in horror movies, etc. Deal with it. It makes me mad that men were uncomfortable with this movie based solely on the fact that they were finally being objectified the way we are CONTINUOUSLY objectified. I'm not saying I agree with this movie in any way, I'm just saying that this happened and you should accept it because we've been accepting shitty soft-core, B-list movies with surgically "improved" labias all up in our faces for long enough. This is pay back. You don't deserve it, but there it is. Sorry about my harsh attitude, but it's the truth, kids.
     Secondly, here's no way in hell this movie ever should have been made. My thirteen-year old sister wanted to watch this movie so badly and I had to explain to her exactly why I wasn't taking her and exactly why she should tell all of her friends not to watch it. A person exploring his/her sexuality is very important, especially in the early teen years, but not through pornography. And that's what this movie is - pornography. I know that a lot of people reading this are gonna be like, "Oh, Jenelle! You're so serious! Just relax!" But I'm not going to fucking "relax". Ever. I disagree with the porn industry more than I can even begin to express and that doesn't change with gender, you know? Why should it? The human body is a sacred thing. I will repeat that over and over, throughout all of my blogs forever, I swear. People should not be seen as objects, no matter what gender. Young girls should be learning about the beauty of male (and female) bodies in rational, loving ways, not through the vicious sweat and violence of stripping and porn, just as young boys should be learning about the magnificence of the bodies of women (and men). We all need to be treated with respect and love.
     The reason I brought this up is because I was scrolling through my cute little Facebook news feed and I saw a picture comparing Channing Tatum to some other dashing fellow, both with their shirts off. The caption said: "'Like' for Channing, comment for [insert other dude's name here]!" And I thought, "Would I be cool with this if there were two beautiful women with their shirts off, being judged by the world of Facebook based solely on how closely their bodies come to society's idea of 'hot'?" No, I would not be cool with it. Because of this, I am not cool with objectification of men. I am not cool with objectification of anyone. All people have personalities, all people are beautiful, in their bodies and minds, and all people deserve respect. In case my point here isn't clear, I HATE OBJECTIFICATION.
     Jen, out.

P.S. My "Person of the Week" post will be coming soon. It has to do with "Girls" (*hushed whispers and excitement in the crowd*). Bye.
   

You Best Be Makin' Up Yo Mind.

     I used to not wear make up for a few reasons. I went through a "realization period", I call it, in my last year of high school. In this span of time, I came to realize that there's a lot of stuff that matters more than what that girl might have said about me behind my back last week. Of course, deep down, I always knew this. I had always been environmentally conscious throughout my adolescent years and all that good stuff, but it took a while for me to realize that I actually had to do real things in my own life to make any sort of a difference in other peoples' ideas and lives. So I started to take on my ideology in a physical sense. I stopped eating meat, stopped doing anything to my hair, stopped washing my hair, and of course, stopped wearing make up. I focused my energy on learning and reading everything I possibly could about all things. And I enjoyed my life so thoroughly in that year! I learned so much and cared so much about a bunch of different things. The most valuable lesson that I took from this stage in my life is that once a person looks past superficial bullshit, she can really appreciate the amount of time and the amount of space in her life that she has for more important projects and information. And I think that's pretty cool. But I don't ignore my appearance anymore and I now wear make up most of the time, though I'm not saying it's wrong of you if you prefer to not wear make up, of course. I think that's awesome! I still try really hard to learn as much as I can about a lot of things, but I've changed a few aspects of myself since those days and now I'm going to tell you why.
     When I first started learning about feminism, I was all like, "Shit, I shouldn't wear make up ever again." This was due to the fact that I was pretty uneducated and in the early stages of my feminist development. I was still under the influence of the stereotypes that said "real" feminists should never touch a tube of lipstick ever. I had learned about the atrocities of advertising agencies: the never-ending vicious cycle of the anti-aging conspiracy, the fact that most CEOs of make up companies are men, the constant reoccurrence of the "ideal woman", etc. Of course, a feminist is not supposed to look like the "ideal woman", so why would she buy make up, right?

Maybe because she wants to?

     I struggled with this for a while - the idea that if I started wearing make up again I wouldn't be taken seriously as a feminist or I would be labelled with the ultimately offensive term: "lipstick feminist". Then I realized that a) I shouldn't give a shit and b) I really shouldn't give a shit. First of all, I should be able to do whatever the hell I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it. If a person chooses to take my feminism less seriously because I adore filling in my eyebrows, then I know for a fact that I'm not the one who needs to rethink her basic morals. Second of all, and this goes along with my first point, I should never be looked down upon, especially by other women - feminist women (where is the sisterhood?) - for what I choose to put on my face. Another person who shares the same feelings about equality as I do should not be discriminating against me because of the way I look. On a person to person basis, that's completely wrong. 

     I understand that advertising agencies want me to look a certain way. I understand that theoretically, make up is a male's invention to make women appear the way that men want them to appear. And I do care about this. Of course I care about this! But I like the way that my face looks with make up on. I also like the way my face looks without it. I like the way my legs look unshaven just as much as I like them when they're smooth. My nails look pretty good when I cut them sometimes; should I feel guilty about that too? My body is my body and I am free to do what I want with it. My opinions and thoughts shouldn't be of lesser value simply because some days I choose to wear red lipstick. Whether I'm wearing lipstick or not, the ideas that come out of my mouth are still intelligent and relevant and worth listening to. And of course this applies to men as well! If men want to wear nail polish, their opinions shouldn't be of any less importance. Frickin' equality, guys. That's all I'm saying. Sure, I could wear make up or I couldn't. Either way I'm still  a human being and I still deserve respect. 

     This argument translates into a lot of other aspects of life as well. Basically what I'm trying to get across here is that a socially conscious woman/man should be able to do whatever she/he wants to her/his face - piercings, eyelash extensions, tattoos, war paint, more piercings, no make up, lots of make up - and still get as much respect as any other person would. Discrimination is uncool and I'd really like for people to be able to make their own decisions without being frowned upon for it. 

     Peace out, kids.

You're a Human, I'm a Human. Just Be Nice.

     I'm trying to write a lot more regularly than I have been. I think it's important to write often. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to say and sometimes I don't, but I think it's important to put stuff down either way.
     I'm feeling really scatter brained today, and I don't think this is going to be long, so here we go. This post might be a little offensive to some readers, so use your discretion. If you don't like bad words, don't read it.
     I've been thinking a lot recently about a few specific words. Words that I've always known to be rude and harsh and hard to hear: "Cunt, Bitch, Pussy". Now, you might be cringing a little bit as you read that and I definitely don't blame you. All of those words just sound inappropriate and dirty to most people, which is completely normal. We've been conditioned to think of those words as scary and offensive. The main reason I started paying attention to those three words is because they all have something in common. I guess the first thing they have in common is that they might be the most offensive words we have in the English language. But I think the more important tie between all three is the fact that they ALL HAVE TO DO WITH WOMEN. 

What the fuck.

     I can't figure out why this never occurred to me before. All three of these words are associated with being a woman. Is that why they're offensive? Is that why it hurts boys' feelings so much when they get called a "pussy" while they're playing a game of hockey? Because it has to do with being a woman? I can't help but think that it does. There hasn't been a generation in our society yet to grow up with pure equality among the sexes. Sure, we're getting closer and closer every day, but everyone knows that we're not there yet. This is especially evident when these kind of insults are the most hurtful. And who even thinks about it, you know? I didn't even think about it until right now! Do you think your uncle ever thought to himself, "You know, this might really have negative societal consequences..." when he said to you, "You throw like a girl, dude!" Of course he didn't. We're conditioned to accept that that's the way things are. Women are weaker and of lesser value, therefore, being like a woman or similar to a woman, makes you weak and less of a person. Why else would people be so offended by the idea of being compared to a girl? I know for a fact that if someone told me I threw a ball like a man, I would feel powerful and unstoppable. Doesn't that make you sad? That there's such a HUGE gap between genders? Yes, women and men are different. Of course they're different, everyone knows that. But to see one gender as better than the other is a fucking disgrace. I can't express that enough.

     So, as a woman, I'd like to take back the word "bitch". The views of people aren't going to change overnight, of course, but if I start saying to my girl friends, "Chick, you're a strong bitch!", maybe it'll catch on. Who knows? All I know is that women need to start being proud of being women, and it's hard to do that when we're constantly hearing, "You fucking pussy!", "You lost to a girl? That's embarrassing", "Grow up, you're such a little bitch", etc. So the next time you hear someone use a word that is associated with women in a derogatory way, maybe say, "Hey dude, that's not cool. Use a different word." Just defend your gender, ladies. You know you deserve respect. 

     In other news, I just found out that there's a conspiracy theory behind "Adventure Time" that says the show is set in a post-apocolyptic universe and that's why it's a big deal that Finn is a human, because he's the last one, and Jake is the result of some radioactive explosion or something. Best show ever. 

     I still haven't started a food blog because I'm still trying to get my life together. I might just start posting pictures of food off of the internet that make me really hungry. That would be good, right?

     Anyways, thank you for reading this. I really, really, really appreciate the time of anyone who even looks over what I say. This is my favourite thing to do and it really means a lot to me that people care enough to read through it. Take care. 

"I like to say stuff!" vs "I like to hate stuff and make you feel like shit!"

     It's late but I'm not tired so I thought I'd have a short, little rant.        (Probably not a very appealing way to start this post. My apologies.)
     Lately, I've been having a lot of issues with the subject of "free speech". Free speech is the right to say whatever you want. And that's pretty cool. Without free speech, I wouldn't be able to write this post right now. ILOVEFREESPEECHYAYAYA. But just like with any other right that humans posess, there is a certain responsibility that comes along with it. And this is what I'd like to talk about right now.
     A few people that I know reeeeally hurt my feelings with their take on free speech. These people, it seems to me, have forgotten their responsibilities when it comes to speaking their minds. I've seen a couple Facebook statuses speaking of a "utopian all-Caucasian Canada", the indecency of homosexuals and the roles that women "should" be playing in the bedroom and the kitchen. I even know of a person who thinks it's A-OK that she's a self-procclaimed facist. Woohoo, right? This is exactly what free speech is all about! Yeah!
     No.
     Not ever.
     There is so much I could say about all of the things listed above, but I feel as though it isn't even worth my time. If you're reading this blog, you probably already understand my belief system and you are probably just as apalled by those hurtful comments as I am. But, if anyone out there reading this agrees with the views listed above and likes to spread hate and treat their fellow humans like dirt and all that fun stuff, I vow to personally build you a time machine so you can go back to the good ol' days and be Hitler's roomie.
     It's things like this that I toss and turn over when I'm trying to sleep. How can people in this day and age, and in their right minds, think it's okay to say things like this? It scares the shit out of me. Yes, there's free speech. Yes, you should be able to say what you wish. But give me a break. This is downright disgusting. This is why we're not moving forward. This is why Mitt Romney is even an option. This is why the KKK still exists. This is why there's a Taliban. Hell, you might as well just spit in the faces of JFK, Martin Luther, Harriet Tubman, Gandhi, David Suzuki and every other good person in the universe.
     So, here. This is me exercising my right to free speech in response to those who use theirs so fleetingly and, in doing so, completely disregard any other human being that ever existed: You are a human. I am a human. Your grandmother is a human. Your neighbor four doors down is a human. That girl who wears a hijab in your English class is a human. That boy who hides his true feelings about who he's attracted to in fear of being hated is a human. YOU are a human. So, please, for the love of Darwin, push your hate aside, remember your responsibilities and show some damn respect.

   

My Views on Feminism Part 3

     So! Today as I was reading the Edmonton Sun (big mistake), I stumbled upon something that caused me some pretty serious inner conflict. About half way through the paper, there was an article that took up the whole entire page called "Sex Trade Pioneers". This article was obviously about pioneers and the sex trade. And I'd like to explain to you why it made me feel sort of amazed and sort of like I wanted to hit myself in the face.
     First of all, here is a little overview. The article was about a U of A student who did an exhibit on pioneer women and the sex trade. The article, again, took up the whole page, and explained to the reader the importance of the sex trade in the 1800s. It gave examples of women who owned brothels, took pornographic images, defied the RCMP, got arrested and sometimes ended up killing police officers. It also explained how when Edmonton's last brothel was shut down in the 1880s, many people deemed Edmonton to be uninhabitable. At the very end of the article, the journalist states that the student created this exhibit so that people would rethink the dehumanization of sex trade workers today.
     I'd like to tell you what I liked about this article. It was about women.
     Now, I'd like to tell you what I didn't like about this article. EVERYTHING ELSE. To start with, the article is about the freaking sex trade. Being a feminist, and an angry one, I cannot tolerate any sort of objectification of women at any time for any reason. There are definitely more opportunities for jobs today than there were in the 1880s, which is why the sex trade should be crumbling, but back then, do you really think there were many options? These women in the article who were killing police officers to save their brothels were most likely running a brothel so they could stay alive. I don't care if you own a gas station or a museum, if someone comes in and tries to take away from you what you've created, it's obvious that you will defend what is rightfully yours. Without being able to go to school or vote or make any type of decision without a husband, these women were left to do the "only thing  they're good for anyway": sex. I'm absolutely sure that they did not purposely become vigilantes. They were just trying to make a living and this is what happened. Now, I'm sure that this is what the U of A student was trying to get across. That these women were people trying to make a living and that's why they deserve some respect. I'm sure she was trying to show the strength of these women. I believe that they were strong. But, for goodness sakes, can we talk about strong women that weren't being used as objects for the pleasure of men? Where are the first wave feminists in this exhibit? If we're trying to get people to stop dehumanizing sex trade workers, maybe we should try to get them to stop dehumanizing women first.
     As I mentioned, there were women in the 1880s that were beginning the first wave of feminism. Lucy Stone was the first woman in 1884 to change her wedding vows and get rid of the word "obey". There were so many women fighting for their equality. WHY ISN'T THIS ARTICLE ABOUT  THEM? Where is Lucy Stone in the Edmonton Sun? Sadly, Lucy Stone isn't there because equality doesn't sell. Sex sells. Sex sells so well, in fact, that there was a whole page devoted to these poor women of the sex trade. Do you know how disappointing it is that this is the first article I've ever read in the Edmonton Sun about a group of women? I guess the only way that we can get in the paper at all is if we're objects. "Oh, Lucy Stone wasn't topless when she changed her marriage vows? Sorry, we can't write about that." I know for a fact that if this probably very intelligent university student did an exhibit on suffrage instead, it wouldn't have taken up half a page. Frankly, I'm disgusted.
     If we continue to focus on our sexuality being the only thing we're good for, we will not go anywhere. We are now at a point where we, as women, can freely choose to exercise our sexuality or not, but these women were not there yet! Not even close! They had to sell their bodies and other womens' bodies to men to make a living without a husband. Why is this being celebrated?  Women have had to put up with objectification since the 1800s, I now know, and they definitely had to put up with it before then too. We are still putting up with it every single day. From the time we're old enough to understand sentences, our mothers have been telling us to never go anywhere alone, always bring a trusted (male) friend just in case, never go anywhere in the dark, etc. We are familiar with objectification. Every single girl has been dealing with it her whole life. Why are we still treating it like it's okay? Why are we glorifying the objectification of the past for everyone to see? Yes. It happened, we understand that. Let's move on and make things better.