My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?
- First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done.
- Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
- Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming.
- Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah?
- If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.
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