hi i did this for my women's studies class and now it belongs to the internet byyyyye

     Wow, hi guys! It's been so long since I wrote in this blog, y'all probably feel like you don't even know me anymore. Things can change drastically in a span of four months - but they didn't for me, so don't worry. I'm still a cynical Instagram addict with a love for kittens and fem power. School has kept me busy since September, but since I'm basically on Christmas break now, I am hopping back on the literary band wagon and I am ready to supply y'all with some quality blog posts (My philosophy professor turned me into a cowboy over the span of a semester - sorry...y'all). I decided I'd start my blog relapse with an assignment I did in my Women's Studies class. I'm not going to say anything more than that, but I would love some feedback! Not that I can change it now that I already handed it in...hmmm...whatever! I'd still like to know what the internet thinks. Holla at your girl. Peace. 

Cinderella and the 21^st Century: A Potential Love Story

     When I first began thinking about this project, I knew two things: 1. I wanted to transform my artifact in a positive way and not completely destroy the current artifact, and 2. I knew that I wanted to pick an artifact that displayed the most stereotypical aspects of femininity to young children, predominately girls.  Of course, the obvious choice is Barbie. She is widely circulated, probably the most well-known “girl’s toy” out there, and is very obviously unrealistic, physically. Barbie tells stories to young girls about femininity, but I wanted an actual story; an account of female passivity, oppression, and powerlessness. So, for my cultural artifact, I’ve selected Disney’s Cinderella as both a physical and cultural misrepresentation of women. Cinderella “[is] portrayed as helpless…she is the quintessential ‘perfect girl’, always gentle, kind, and lovely” and she is forced to interact with “evil women” on a daily basis (Henke, Umble, Smith, 2004: 406-410). As a young girl, I never batted an eye at Cinderella’s over exaggerated beauty, inability to speak for herself, or normativity, and this is exactly what I want to address. The story of Cinderella has been accepted for decades as an appropriate story for children to be told. But the ideas that this story suggests about gender, femininity, relationships between women, and the importance of beauty are all things that are undoubtedly harmful to the intellectual growth of children. In my project, I wanted to portray an antithesis to the old Cinderella, creating an image that might represent a more humanitarian form of story-telling and a more realistic representation of women and female empowerment.

There are multiple examples of negative representations of gender embedded in the story of Cinderella. The story begins with, not even Cinderella herself, but her father. She is described as his lovely daughter and then her beauty is described in further detail. Right off the bat, there is a sense that Cinderella is not her own person; that she is controlled by others. This is reiterated when Cinderella’s person is immediately handed over to her evil stepmother and step sisters as a result of her father’s death. They are incredibly cruel to her because they are jealous of her beauty. This relationship makes jealousy and competition between women seem normal.  The fact that this is the only contact that Cinderella is having with other women is unbelievably harmful, especially when shown to young girls. If these are the stories that are being told to young girls about their mothers, sisters, and friends, jealousy and competition will seem acceptable and expected. As the story goes on, the prince is introduced. The language that is used to describe his situation is loaded with gender bias. The time has come for him to pick his bride, says the story. This language sends very clear ideological and patriarchal messages to the reader about who is in charge in this story, choosing to make masculine power seem more important and more pervasive than Cinderella’s choice. The prince holds a ball in order to scout out a woman. Cinderella, being poor and lowly, goes through the trials of trying to find something acceptable to wear. Eventually, after much struggle, she gives up and runs to the garden where she meets her fairy godmother. The instances that follow this meeting are the most troublesome. The fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella. She makes her look beautiful in preparation for the ball, and because of this, Cinderella ends up marrying the prince. Now, embedded within these instances lie three main ideas that are what made me decide to transform her. Firstly, the fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella, but in the context of this story, being kind is synonymous with sharing beauty secrets. The fairy godmother does not offer Cinderella friendship, love or compassion – she offers her beauty. Even though this interaction is an example of a positive relationship between women, it is based on a shallow and harmful foundation. Secondly, the story suggests that the only reason Cinderella has the “privilege” of being chosen by the prince is her beauty. Only after she has been transformed into something she hadn’t been previously is she noticed by the prince. Thirdly, Cinderella becomes empowered and happy after she is beautiful and MARRIED. The under-lying and most obviously flawed idea in this story is that this story is not about Cinderella at all – not her interests, her beliefs, her actions or achievements - it is about what is done to her, negatively and positively. She is an object that is lived around; she is not living. Her decisions are made for her by others and she is not an active participant in her own life. This is what needs to change.

My transformation does not include a rewritten story, but instead, an image with stories embedded. I’ve created four new Cinderellas who each represent and shift different aspects of the story. The way I set up my image is important to the story. The two main symbolic elements lie in the uncolored faces of the Cinderellas and in the words behind their bodies. Cinderella, in the Disney version, is very obviously Caucasian – blond hair, blue eyes, etc. In my variations, Cinderella is without race, making her relatable to everyone. The blank face serves a dual purpose in providing a “blank slate”, suggesting that these Cinderellas are new and they are able and willing to grow and learn. Secondly, the words behind the women in my image are the original story of Cinderella. I placed them behind the women to suggest that these new Cinderellas have overcome the previous story; it is literally behind them. The four Cinderellas that I’ve chosen all carry a slightly different message. The first is an openly feminist Cinderella. Throughout my childhood in books, movies, social situations, etc. feminism had always been tiptoed around and never openly addressed until I was in high school. Imagine a Disney princess speaking about and rooting for sisterhood and equality for all races, genders, and classes instead of not saying anything at all and just accepting things the way they are. Having an openly feminist role model for young children could drastically change the way that they grow up. The second image I’ve used includes Cinderella embracing another woman. Two big issues in Cinderella are negative female relationships and heteronormativity. Cinderella needs to be shown interacting with friends who are not animals, but real people. A positive mother figure or a sister willing to listen to her would’ve drastically changed the dynamic of the story. Also, in terms of romantic relationships, representing homosexuality in children’s fiction is something that’s rarely done, sadly. There should definitely be more positive representations of differing sexual preference. Another option in this case though, would be to completely eliminate romantic relationships from this kind of story altogether. Children are children and they are familiar with friendship, not romance. Focusing on positive friendships within Cinderella would leave children with more relevant messages that could be applied to their daily lives. The third image is Cinderella reading a book. This example is fairly straightforward. Children are impressionable, and when children see people reading, it makes them more likely to read. Cinderella’s intelligence is never discussed in the current version of the story and perhaps changing that could change the way children feel about reading and studying. The fourth image is a tattooed Cinderella. Cinderella’s image in the current story is unrealistic. There’s no doubt that some women look that way, but beauty is not just one type of woman or man. Breaking down beauty ideals is something that needs to be done fast. Or, better yet, eliminating the talk of being beautiful from Cinderella and other fairy tales altogether and focusing instead on intelligence, hobbies, relationships with others and other things that have to do with who a person is, not what they look like.

Overall, my main proposition is to acknowledge the fact that we, as a human race, are at a point in history where one Cinderella is not going to satisfy the needs of a generation. Focusing on one kind of role model leaves out many young people simply because this singular role model is not accessible to every single child. Creating a wider spectrum in terms of what we are showing young people will make them feel better – like they have someone they can really relate to. Cinderella has the capacity and ability to create an open environment and a positive example for young people in terms of relationships, happiness, and difference. Acknowledging that this current version of Cinderella is past her prime will allow for changes in cultural stories and a positive shift towards acceptance and enlightenment.

Works Cited

Jill Birnie Henke, Dianne Zimmerman Umble, and Nancy J Smith “Constructions of the Female Self: Feminist Readings of the Disney Heroine (excerpt)” from Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions edited by Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee (2004) pp. 406-410

Keep Fightin' The Good Fight.

     Hi, my name is Jenelle and sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible human and I think outlandish, silly billy thoughts like, "Man, I am going to bed early! I might even go to bed at 8 o'clock." And then I don't and stay up and watch "Lost" and make bracelets like every other single girl does on a Tuesday night and think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my time but I just can't bring myself to do these things because I live with my parents and I'm just not motivated by my own self interest and believe it or not, both of these things are very limiting on a person's actions. Welcome to my life.
     My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?

1. First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done. 
2. Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
3. Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming. 
4. Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah? 
5. If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.

     So, that's my piece. Take from it what you will, dawg. I'm really not trying to offend any feminists with this post or start any weird stuff. I completely support any person who supports equality, I just think that sometimes we need to reevaluate the ways in which we're offering information and adjust accordingly. We need to take other peoples' feelings into account and just try to tell as many people about our cause as possible in a totally rational and approachable way. I hope this post made sense and I hope it maybe offered some information to those who are still unsure about the concept of feminism and all the magical, beautiful, witch-crafty powers it holds! I'd love any sort of questions or comments so get at me, kids. Thanks for the read! Peace...

#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

Hypothetically, Would You Be Friends With You?

     Hi. So, I'm not even slightly close to being in school yet and I'm already balls deep in stress.
I have to make a "confirmation deposit" of $175 so all of my classes in my schedule don't get wiped off the face of the planet. BECAUSE THAT'S SO FAIR AND STUDENTS TOTALLY DEFINITELY HAVE AN EXTRA $175. Obviously, I'm mad about this. Deep breaths and donuts though, amirite?
     In other news, I'd like to do a person of the week post. This one goes out to my home girl Jenna Marbles. Jenna recently posted a video on being yourself:

http://youtu.be/6xx_pwu7n-Y

     Now, whether or not you watched that video, I'm going to tell you why it touched my heart. Jenna is one of the most confident, bad ass bitches in the world. I don't always agree with everything she says, but that doesn't make me like her any less. I think disagreeing with people is important in friendships and Jenna Marbles and I are suuuper close friends, so... (I'm lying). The reason Jenna's video touched me so much is because I'm going through this "being yourself" thing in my life right now. Not the whole "discovering-who-I-am-and-writing-terrible-semi-suicidal-song-lyrics-about-what-my-heart-is-truly-trying-to-tell-me-and-eating-ice-cream-for-every-meal" kind of struggle. I never really did exactly that when I was confused about who I was and I don't know why I pulled that scenario out of space, but I feel like everyone has different versions of that whole semi-psychotic phase at some point and maybe one person did that somewhere in time...? I'm not a focused human. Anyways, the struggle that I'm dealing with right now is persevering with my notion of who I am and sticking to my guns, even if people don't like it, if that makes sense. In the video, Jenna talks about how you know that you're truly being yourself when you're the loneliest you've ever been (or something along those lines) because you're at a point where you've completely accepted who you are and, probably, who you are might be a hard thing for others to accept sometimes. AND THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. And the fact that Jenna Marbles is so confident and cool and is also super lonely like me, makes me feel really comforted. Before I get started on this, I don't mean to say that I don't have incredible friends, because I really, really do. I have wonderful friends who accept me and love me and I'm beyond grateful for that. My thing is, though, that I have a hard time being who others (society) expect me (and every other human in the world) to be (robotically polite and perfect in social situations), and that usually results in weird interactions or, like, no interactions at all with the majority of the human race. Holla if I'm not making any sense (and by holla, I mean comment below and I'll try to explain myself more thoroughly). I know a lot of people who are incredibly personable and nice and can strike up a conversation with anyone in any situation, and everyone loves these people - heck, I love these people! - and I always thought, "Shit, why don't people feel as comfortable around me as they do around these people?" And then I realized it's because I'm being myself. That's not to say that these people aren't being themselves - I'm sure they are - but a bubbly, personable, talkative, flamboyant Jenelle is just not something that you'll find under my sexy, but tough exterior. And this video made me realize that that's okay! And that's why I'm lonely! Because I'm being myself! And then I felt so relieved! I really don't want people to read this and be like, "Shit, I think Jenelle might be kind of dumb. It took her watching a Jenna Marbles video to make her realize it's okay to be herself? Yikes, I should not read this blog." Don't think this. Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk, just hating life in general, kicking sticks and rocks around and junk, and then you saw a rainbow, or a duck with baby ducks, or a really cute kitten, or a butterfly on a flower, and then you were like, "Man, life can be kind of beautiful sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't be such a heartless plug."? That's kinda what happened to me in this situation, and I am so thankful that it did. It was a wake-up call of sorts. I don't know when I started getting so personal in these blog posts and I sincerely hope it isn't scaring people off, but I'm not really intent on stopping. I feel so lucky to have the group of friends that I have now, because I don't feel, not even a tiny little bit, like I'm lying about who I am, and they love me anyway. And I am so excited for every single person in the world to reach the point where they feel as content as I do for this reason alone - that people love me because of exactly who I am and I don't have to pretend at all to be anything I'm not. 

     I, Jenelle Dufva, am terrible at small talk, disgustingly unorganized, incredibly witty, fairly book smart, bad at making friends, good at spending money on shoes, super supportive of my sisters, completely void of leadership skills, potentially hypocritical, very granola, and fierce as fuck. I'm lonely sometimes, but most of the time I'm not, because I've got my really great friends who love me and I've got myself. And I think that's pretty cool.  

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

PEOPLE OF THE WEEK.

     So, hi. I know I wrote a post yesterday, but it's Saturday (no work) and I have the plague (no health) or something so here we go! Round two! Wudup!
     I have two people that I want to talk about today.
     Person #1. Hannah from "Girls". If you haven't seen "Girls", you are actually missing out on a very important part of life. I didn't watch it for a while based solely on hipster principle. I hadn't yet seen "Girls" for the same reasons that I haven't seen "Downton Abbey" or "Sons of Anarchy". I've already got "The Walking Dead" and "Adventure Time" to worry about, you know? My hipster TV show cred is, like, through the roof as it is. But I was talking to my cool friend the other day about "Girls" and she was all like, "You have to watch it! It's actually like hanging out with friends, it's not even a TV show." And that had me convinced. So, coincidentally (I'm thinking my friend gave me this illness on purpose), I got insanely sick over the last few days and became confined to my bed. I started "Girls" and I finished it in two days. It's actually one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. The story line is pretty similar to "Sex and the City", which is a planned thing, I think. Four girls living in New York, trying to figure their lives out and dealing with men along the way. But there's something about it that pulls you in. Maybe it is the hipster aspect that's attractive - fashionable clothes, tattoos, drugs, well-read teenagers - but part of me feels that it's the honesty. These girls actually just have no sense of which way is up. There's a certain existentialist/absurdist quality to the show. Shit just happens from one moment to the next and no one has any idea what's coming their why or why anything happens. Sometimes conversations between people go on for a little too long, to the point where it's uncomfortable, but that just makes it all the more real. And HANNAH. Hannah is a piece of work. I've never seen a protagonist who's more like myself in my entire life (Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a close second, but that's a book, so yeah). She's anxious all the time about everything and she's so weird! She's actually just so abnormal that it makes her insanely attractive to watch. Also, speaking of attraction, since this show is on HBO, we know there's a whole lot of sex. And normally, when we watch these types of programs, the women who are completely naked are perfect and sweaty and glistening and well-proportioned. Hannah isn't. Hannah has small breasts and some extra cushioning around the middle and tattoos that depict scenes from children's books and honestly, I've never wanted to be someone as badly as I want to be Hannah. She's so unbelievably sexy. She's perfect in the most confusing way. I've never seen anyone who loves to eat cupcakes as much as her or has as much OCD. She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her; she's so confident, it's unreal. I admire her character so thoroughly. She's the perfect role model for women. She's chubby, she wears what she likes, she cares about her work an incredible amount, she thinks she's beautiful, she explores/is comfortable with her sexuality, she cares about what she wants above what others want and she just generally doesn't give a fuck. And I think she's great.
     Person #2: Macklemore. That guy. Macklemore. My best friend and I were in a choir in 2011 where we met these awesome people and we bonded hard. How did we bond so hard, you ask? Music and thrift shopping. No joke. Before it was "hip", we went to Value Village with a handful of other choristers and we rocked the shit out of teal, floor-length trench coats. We were about to head to the same choir with the same group of wonderful people in 2012 when about a week before, one of these crazy kids sent us a link to "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and we all cried a little bit, I think. It was our theme song. (Also, choir Value Village trip version 2012 consisted of fur. A shit ton of fur.) Of course, now, it's disgustingly overplayed and everything, but I'll have a special connection to that song forever because of my best friends and our memories. After hearing "Thrift Shop", I had to see what the rest of Macklemore's stuff sounded like and I've come to the conclusion that Macklemore, in and of himself, is a fucking revolution. After "Thrift Shop" did it's thing, radio stations started playing "Same Love". If you haven't heard that song, here: http://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0
This song, without a doubt, has done wonders for the self-esteem and confidence of LGBTQ people all over the world. I've never heard a rap song, actually, any song for that matter, so obviously supporting the rights of homosexual people in such a forward way. Past these two songs, Macklemore just gets better. There isn't a song on his album that doesn't mean something to someone on an incredibly deep level. Whether you're dealing with sexuality, a tough break-up, religion, drug abuse, etc., Macklemore has got you covered. And besides the incredible content of his songs, the way he raps is really personal. There's this feeling I get from listening to his music that make me feel as though we're having a one-on-one conversation. It makes me feel a lot less lonely. Overall, I think he's one of the most amazing musicians of our time and "The Heist" is a fucking masterpiece and if you don't own it, you are missing out on a great, big, beautiful thing. Thank you, Macklemore, for the beautiful controversy you've acknowledged in our society and for helping some of us kids get through the shit we can't get through alone.
     Well, I'm gonna go cough up all of my organs now and I'll probably end up writing another post later. I'd really like some emails or something to look at whilst lying on my death bed, so if y'all have anything to say about what I say, any ideas for things that I could write about, or cute cat videos, I'm in. Thank you for reading my blog. You're really nice.

It's Time To Do Something About This Shit.

     So, it has been recently brought to my attention that we live in the fucking stone age.
     I honestly can't even begin to describe how infuriated I am by the fact that it's 2013 and women are STILL continuously disrespected in society every single day. It's gotten to the point where it can't even be called disrespect anymore, you know? We might as well be getting spit on every five minutes.
     A sixteen year-old girl got drunk at a party. She passed out and was then raped and violated, not just once, but repeatedly, by several boys. And now she's being blamed. The "Steubenville" case. This girl probably woke up the morning of the party and thought, "I'm so excited!", because who doesn't like parties, right? She probably spent all day trying to decide what to wear. She probably knew she looked fantastic. She just wanted to have a good time. I doubt that she ever thought, "You know, there's a possibility that I could have permanent psychological damage after tonight."And now she does.
     I can't even write this without crying. Forget for a second that she's a girl. What human deserves that kind of treatment? I'm so upset. This doesn't even have anything to do with feminism for me right now (I'll get into that later) - it has to do with the fact that human beings treated another human being as if she were a fucking thing. Not a human, but an object. And you know what the worst part about it is? Worse than what they did to her, worse than how she feels, worse than all of that? This happens thousands of times every fucking day. Over and over and over. The worst part about it is that all of the things that happened in this one incident are being acted out continuously by heartless humans onto other humans that they treat like objects; like nothing. And the majority of the time, these incidents aren't even reported. That's what I can't get over: that this is something that's normal.
     I vow (and have vowed in the past) to never, ever hate men. Because I'm a feminist, and feminists don't hate men or women or any one specific group of people. Feminists are about equality. I always write posts about how awesome women are and how beautiful women are, and the reason I don't write them about men isn't because I don't like men; it's because men know how awesome they are. A man in our society has a thousand times more power than any woman does. I don't know what it was in history (the idea of God being a man is my guess) that made people decide that men were more important or whatever, but it's not okay, you know? Especially in 2013. So, this is me saying to all men: Please use your power and strength in the best ways you possibly can. Women can do so many things for feminism and for ourselves, but nothing is going to really change if men don't listen to us. Please, for the love of everything in the world, listen to what we're saying. Men need feminism just as much as women need feminism. And women need men to want to help. We've got to do this together, guys. I can write as many blog posts about feminism as I want to, but if it's only women reading them, we're not getting the whole of society in on this and that's what we need. It's really discouraging to me that half of the men reading this (if there are any men reading this), don't know who Germaine Greer, Anais Nin or even Gloria Steinem are. Men aren't scared to go to the bathroom alone in fear of someone hiding in there who could easily hurt them. Men aren't scared of wearing short skirts because people assume that they're "asking for it". Look at how these men at this party used their power towards this girl. There's nothing worse to me than seeing such a corrupt group of young people who think this is completely acceptable. How can we let our children grow up in a society like this? People, of all genders, need to be protecting each other.
     This is completely scattered and all over the place, but I just have a lot of things to say and I'm too damn angry to put them in a nicer format.
     Ladies; I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that we have to deal with this every day. It makes me more upset than you can imagine. On top of everything else in our lives - school, work, kids, finances, etc. - we have to worry about how late it is when we walk home alone at night. In "Vagina", Naomi Wolf talks about how even the smallest sexual threat to a woman can harm her for years. She says that even if a woman is in a situation (fully clothed, with other women) where she feels even slightly sexually threatened, her brain (connected to her vagina and other sexual organs through a vast number of nerve systems) remembers and it's harder for her to enjoy her sexuality in an easy-going way. Women that are intensely sexually abused take years to recover and sometimes, they're never able to have healthy sexual relationships with anyone. The fact that this kind of psychological damage is being blamed on the victim in this case actually makes me want to throw up. Sexual abuse or assault is NEVER the fault of the victim. Ever. Consent is ALWAYS mandatory. Even if you're married, consent is in order. Even if a woman has been saying "yes" all day and then decides on a "no"at the last second, that has to be respected. Why shouldn't we be able to make decisions about what happens to our bodies? Someone else deciding for us doesn't make any sense! We all have brains and we're all extremely capable. I'm so frustrated.
     Women are goddesses. In ancient India, scripts were written about the importance of female pleasure. It was said that women carried a sort of psychological and physical medicine in their mouths, breasts, and vaginas and in order for men to live a full and healthy life, they had to give as much pleasure as possible to the women that they loved just to receive even an ounce of the goodness that a woman carries in her. Isn't that beautiful? I just don't know of anything more fascinating and lovely than the body and soul of a woman. We used to be so respected and important. Female sexuality used to be seen as a sort of mysterious gift to the world. Our bodies can do amazing things, you know? We can carry life for nine months. And we're being called sluts and hoes and being put into situations we don't want to be in and being forced to have sexual confrontations with which we're not comfortable. It's so sad. But, even through all of this bullshit, I know that I'm a goddess. I know that you're a goddess. I know your mother is a goddess, and your grandmother too. And the most important thing that we, as women, can do is to never, ever forget that. Always keep it in your heart, okay? Even when you're being called fat, or ugly, or you're getting paid less than your male co-workers. Be sure to tell your fellow women that they're intelligent and incredible and you admire their uteruses. We're amazing human beings and even though we don't always get the respect we deserve from society and from others, the least we can do is remember that and hold it dear to us. We deserve at least that.
     Tell every single person you know about feminism. That's the only way it's going to work.
   

Watch Your Sisters' Backs, Sisters.

     Hi!
     If you are a male, you may see this as being aimed more towards women, but it's totally relevant to you as well. Just translate the stereotypes into ones that you have been personally affected by and it'll all make perfect sense.
     It was recently drawn to my attention by my favourite Instagram account that sometimes, I have misogynist tendencies.

*gasp* 

   
     "Well, Jenelle! How could you have misogynist tendencies? You are obviously so feminist!" said the beautiful blog reader who actually reads this blog and who Jenelle so deeply appreciates. You're right, reader. I am really feminist, obviously. But there's something that all girls deal with that I'd never really thought of as misogyny, just the truth, and it's terrible! It's so upsetting that this idea is so completely accepted by women. Before I get ahead of myself, though, let me explain what I mean.
     Girls, please picture the following scenario:
   
     Gossipy girl whom no one likes says: "Oh my gosh, did you see what [insert name here] was doing with [insert name here]? I can't believe they did that!"

     Boy whom is sexually attractive to you overhears gossipy girl and says to you: "Ugh, I hate it when girls gossip like that."

     You: "I know, right? I hate girls. I'm so not like all of those other bitches. That's why I'm only friends with boys."

     Okay, so maybe your scenario went a little differently and a few words were swapped around here and there, but you catch my drift, right? Every single woman has been in this situation before. And honestly, before it was seriously brought to my attention, I'd never thought about the effect this might have on society. I will now explain, first of all, why this happens and secondly, why it's so harmful.
     I don't care who you are, what you do, or what you think you do, every single person in the world wants to be seen as an individual. And that's completely understandable! That's definitely something that is important to me. I don't want to blend in with the crowd or whatever. The problem with this is that sometimes, to make themselves seem more likeable and more unique, people throw others under the bus. And that's what's happening in this situation. If someone says something negative about a group of people that you belong to, obviously you're going to try your best to stand out from that group so that you, as an individual, aren't seen in the same negative light. In this really difficult situation, women are putting their sisters down in an attempt to seem cool, basically. They want attention, and recognition for being nice, not gossipy, not catty, etc. and in doing this, they, without even thinking about it, undermine the kindness and respectfulness of other women that also don't fit into this terrible stereotype.
     Now, the reason why this is so harmful should be pretty apparent already. Women have to put up with so much shit from every angle, at all times, every day of their lives. And now, with these kind of situations, not only do they have to deal with being called bitches, being stared at, being objectified, being at the receiving end of never ending sexist jokes, now they have to deal with their sisters, their fellow women, putting them down as well. There's already enough hate built up against us, ladies. We don't need to make more by agreeing with people about these stereotypes! Not all women like to gossip or read magazines. Some do, and that's fine, but not all. It's so important to understand that equality is equality in every sense. I can't believe that I didn't see how awful I was being when I agreed with people on these points. I know a lot of women that do these things, some of whom I like and some of whom I don't. And that's okay, because the way that they act isn't my problem and I shouldn't be making it my problem. People should be able to be free and not have to worry about stereotypes of any kind. Especially women, guys. Come on. Women are so fucking oppressed already. We don't need this. We don't need it from men and we REALLY don't need it from women.
     So, this is me apologizing to all of the women that I've ever mindlessly stereotyped because I wanted people to think that I was cool. I'm really, really sorry. Every woman is beautiful and intelligent in her own right and it's not okay to put us all into one big box. The individuality and respect of every woman is way more important to me than how others view me. Even if they are attractive men.
     What I'm getting down to here is, the next time you try to break free of stereotypes, break free hard, girl! But leave us other women out of it, okay? We're all individuals too and we deserve recognition for that.
     

You Best Be Makin' Up Yo Mind.

     I used to not wear make up for a few reasons. I went through a "realization period", I call it, in my last year of high school. In this span of time, I came to realize that there's a lot of stuff that matters more than what that girl might have said about me behind my back last week. Of course, deep down, I always knew this. I had always been environmentally conscious throughout my adolescent years and all that good stuff, but it took a while for me to realize that I actually had to do real things in my own life to make any sort of a difference in other peoples' ideas and lives. So I started to take on my ideology in a physical sense. I stopped eating meat, stopped doing anything to my hair, stopped washing my hair, and of course, stopped wearing make up. I focused my energy on learning and reading everything I possibly could about all things. And I enjoyed my life so thoroughly in that year! I learned so much and cared so much about a bunch of different things. The most valuable lesson that I took from this stage in my life is that once a person looks past superficial bullshit, she can really appreciate the amount of time and the amount of space in her life that she has for more important projects and information. And I think that's pretty cool. But I don't ignore my appearance anymore and I now wear make up most of the time, though I'm not saying it's wrong of you if you prefer to not wear make up, of course. I think that's awesome! I still try really hard to learn as much as I can about a lot of things, but I've changed a few aspects of myself since those days and now I'm going to tell you why.
     When I first started learning about feminism, I was all like, "Shit, I shouldn't wear make up ever again." This was due to the fact that I was pretty uneducated and in the early stages of my feminist development. I was still under the influence of the stereotypes that said "real" feminists should never touch a tube of lipstick ever. I had learned about the atrocities of advertising agencies: the never-ending vicious cycle of the anti-aging conspiracy, the fact that most CEOs of make up companies are men, the constant reoccurrence of the "ideal woman", etc. Of course, a feminist is not supposed to look like the "ideal woman", so why would she buy make up, right?

Maybe because she wants to?

     I struggled with this for a while - the idea that if I started wearing make up again I wouldn't be taken seriously as a feminist or I would be labelled with the ultimately offensive term: "lipstick feminist". Then I realized that a) I shouldn't give a shit and b) I really shouldn't give a shit. First of all, I should be able to do whatever the hell I feel like doing whenever I feel like doing it. If a person chooses to take my feminism less seriously because I adore filling in my eyebrows, then I know for a fact that I'm not the one who needs to rethink her basic morals. Second of all, and this goes along with my first point, I should never be looked down upon, especially by other women - feminist women (where is the sisterhood?) - for what I choose to put on my face. Another person who shares the same feelings about equality as I do should not be discriminating against me because of the way I look. On a person to person basis, that's completely wrong. 

     I understand that advertising agencies want me to look a certain way. I understand that theoretically, make up is a male's invention to make women appear the way that men want them to appear. And I do care about this. Of course I care about this! But I like the way that my face looks with make up on. I also like the way my face looks without it. I like the way my legs look unshaven just as much as I like them when they're smooth. My nails look pretty good when I cut them sometimes; should I feel guilty about that too? My body is my body and I am free to do what I want with it. My opinions and thoughts shouldn't be of lesser value simply because some days I choose to wear red lipstick. Whether I'm wearing lipstick or not, the ideas that come out of my mouth are still intelligent and relevant and worth listening to. And of course this applies to men as well! If men want to wear nail polish, their opinions shouldn't be of any less importance. Frickin' equality, guys. That's all I'm saying. Sure, I could wear make up or I couldn't. Either way I'm still  a human being and I still deserve respect. 

     This argument translates into a lot of other aspects of life as well. Basically what I'm trying to get across here is that a socially conscious woman/man should be able to do whatever she/he wants to her/his face - piercings, eyelash extensions, tattoos, war paint, more piercings, no make up, lots of make up - and still get as much respect as any other person would. Discrimination is uncool and I'd really like for people to be able to make their own decisions without being frowned upon for it. 

     Peace out, kids.

Hey, You're Awesome.

     Oh my god, I'm writing two days in a row. Does this make me...productive?
   
     So, I've been reading some stuff and talking to some people, because generally, those are both things that I like to do, and I've come up with some more words to project onto your screens. Cool?

     First of all, I had an insanely beautiful, honest, helpful, and just plain old fun Valentine's Day party with my girlfriends. Oooooh, the aggressive girl with the hateful blog is single! Big shocker, right? I know. Anyways, it was wonderful and it was definitely the most rewarding Valentine's Day I've ever had. I usually don't like to get to know people really quickly because I have a hard time connecting to people. I've realized over the past few months that I'm naturally a pretty introverted person and I'm learning to accept that, but these women made me feel welcomed and at home with them and with myself, so it was really easy for me to be open with them about my life. (Why am I being so personal?) The point of this story is to tell you what I learned from my group of single ladies. I'm not sure what exactly got us on the topic of self-confidence, but as we all know, every heart-to-heart talk between women has to touch on the subject in some way. As we were discussing this, one of my friends just flat out said, "You know, I don't know why it's so hard for people to like themselves. I think I'm pretty fucking awesome." And I just died. I was so happy in that moment. And then it got better. Another one of my friends said in response, "I know what you mean. Like, fuck, if you have nothing going for you, but you have confidence, at least you have confidence and that's something." Can you believe that I found friends this cool? I can't. I feel so honoured to know these women. They're so confident and sexy and sure of themselves in every way, it makes me feel really comforted to know that I have them at my side. I need everyone who's reading this right now to understand that they're right. Even if you have a big nose, weird lips, a funny laugh, or a crooked tooth, you have to rock that shit. You have to hold your head high and wear your flaws as if they're diamonds. You need to be confident because even if you feel as though you have nothing, you have confidence, and that is something. I don't know you, but I know you're strong. Have a little confidence; it'll go a long way.

     Side note: Before I go on to my "Secondly and lastly," bit here, I just want to say that I don't believe all men feel/act this way towards feminists. I'm not a man hater and I never will be a man hater. This is just the reality of the situation in some cases and that's what I will be addressing. If you're a man, I love you and I know that if you're reading this blog, you don't give the ladies any trouble. I respect you.

     Secondly and lastly, for the love of all things that evolution created, don't let men tell you that your feminism is reverse sexism. It's not. Unless, of course, you're saying that men are inherently bad or less than you. Then of course it's reverse sexism. But I know you're not like that, girls. You just want equality and love, right? You want to be seen as just as good as men are and I understand that. Every woman in the world understands that. The only reason that men ever say, "That's reverse sexism!" is simply because they're intimidated by your strength. Men know that women are treated as weaker, more fragile, less able, and less respectable forms of human life. The reason that these men are scared of your strength is because they don't want to be like you. They know that you're disrespected. They know that you're scared to walk home by yourself at night. They know that you might be afraid to let people see you without makeup on. And they don't want to switch roles with you. They don't want to be afraid. They don't want you to have the power and for them to be left as the second sex. Therefore, they tell you you're being a reverse sexist. So don't take it personally, okay? It's important that you know that you so entirely deserve to be respected and equal and you don't deserve to take any shit from anyone who says/implies otherwise.

     It's late, but I had a nap today, so I'm doing alright. I'm reading "Vagina" by Naomi Wolf and that's where all of this fiery girl power is stemming from. I like it. Goodnight.

Blog, Blog, Blog.

     Last night, I had a revelation.
     My friends introduced me to this band from Calgary, Alberta called Boreal Sons about a year ago. They're fucking great. Like, unbelievable. And the best part about it is that they don't even realize how fantastic they are. They're super nice guys and they're always willing to talk to you after shows, which is really nice. Anyways, last night, I went to see them play (for the third time) and it was the best thing I've ever seen. Better than any other time I've seen them, better than any other show I've seen. I was absolutely overwhelmed by how many emotions I felt at one time. And then it hit me:
     No matter how bad things are and no matter how drastically things change, Boreal Sons are always going to fucking rule. They're always going to make fantastic music. And that made me feel better about EVERYTHING. I feel like it's kind of hard to explain that kind of emotion and comfort, but I hope that you experience it one day, because it's the most reassuring thing I've ever felt. You might not feel such a deep connection to Boreal Sons, but maybe you can feel that in a different way. Like, your grandma is always going to think you're precious, you know? No matter how many people tell you you're nerdy or stinky or loud or whatever, your grandma will ALWAYS love you. And that should make you feel really good, I think.
     I just needed to tell people about that. Go see Boreal Sons if you ever get the chance, also.

     I'd also like to talk about women, obviously. I've decided that I'm going to start doing a "Woman of the Week" post, and I'd like to start that today! So, here we go: If you've never heard of Die Antwoord, go punch yourself in the leg and then YouTube that suff. The first time I heard them, I was scared. Legitimately terrified. Most of that has to do with the content of their music videos. Don't get me wrong, I love all of them, they're just very shocking and hard to get used to. But once you're past the initial shock, it's like your world has just opened up into a beautifully fucked up dream.
     Yolandi Visser is one of the most amazing women I have ever witnessed do anything. First of all, she's a female rapper. Yes, we have Nicki Minaj, but what Yolandi does is so different. It's hard to even put her in any type of genre, really. AND THAT'S MY FAVOURITE THING ABOUT HER. Not only is her music unique, but her looks and her approach to her work are so unlike anything I've ever seen. She's so beautiful, so comfortable with herself and her body and her sexuality and that really comes through in her art. Her concepts are incredible and sometimes offensive, but it's just her, you know? It's just her in her element and it's lovely. I don't think there's anything more satisfying, as a woman, than seeing another woman succeed because she's being herself.
     You know what? I'm going to make this so easy for you. If you want to see how bad ass Yolandi is, watch this video:

http://youtu.be/8Uee_mcxvrw

     I'm gonna make this SUPER easy for you. Here's Boreal Sons:

http://youtu.be/-SID_Ixezbc

    I want to say I'm sorry for how fuzzy and scattered this post is, but I'm not. I feel fuzzy and scattered and I think it's fair that that's reflected in my writing. Have a nice day!

   

The Definition of Activism: Malala Yousafzai.

     On October 9, Malala Yousafzai, an activist for the rights of women and education, was shot in the head and neck by a Taliban soldier on her way home from school. She's fifteen-years old.
     There's really nothing to say except that I'm absolutely amazed. I'm so amazed that someone so young can be so strong and ready to put her life on the line for something she believes in. I've talked about Greenpeace in the past and how all of the people on the Sea Shepherd are putting their lives in danger every day for something they believe in, and it's incredible! But these people are mostly middle-aged and they've had a lot of time to develop their ideas and prepare themselves for the consequences that may come as a result of their actions. And I definitely don't mean to belittle their actions by talking about their age. They're still doing amazing things and I will always commend them for that.
     But, Malala. She's fifteen! I personally don't know any fifteen-year old that knows exactly what she believes in and puts her whole being into that purpose. I honestly don't know any fifteen-year old that believes in anything 100%. She's barely had the time to develop her beliefs (I know this because I've barely had any time to develop mine), she's just doing what she knows is right and I can't think of anything more incredible than that.I can't believe the bravery and courage it must take her every day to wake up, knowing full well that she could be attacked at any moment, and still standing tall with her head held high, fighting her cause with everything she is.
     Malala is so strong and important and rebellious that the whole entirety of the Taliban can't handle her bravery. They were scared of this fifteen-year old girl. In their eyes, this little girl was winning and they had to eliminate her. She was winning! Can you believe that? She is so strong that she made the Taliban uncomfortable. Because of their fear, the Taliban has vowed that if she makes a recovery, they won't hesitate to kill her.
     I'm ashamed of myself. I know I have a lot of time to develop my beliefs, go to school and make a change, but I feel like that's not an excuse. Maybe Malala acted so soon in her life simply because she thought she didn't have much time. Or maybe she just loved school more than anything and felt that the opportunity of education for children in her country was more important than her safety. Either way, I'm ashamed of the fact that I live in Canada, said by many to be the safest place on Earth, and I haven't done anything. I haven't sacrificed anything. I haven't exercised my rights to free speech the way I should be, I haven't written Stephen Harper a letter telling him how thoroughly I despise him, I haven't protested in front of the Legislative Building to let them know how much I disagree with the lack of transparency in our government, and the list goes on. I feel that I'm taking advantage of my situation. Like, I'm just sitting here, complaining about everything and not taking any action. And I'm ashamed.
     I hate that it's taken something so drastic happening to someone so fragile for me to realize the action I need to take. Because of Malala, I vow to do more. I vow to do as much as I possibly can. I feel that I owe it to her to stand up for what I believe in.
     This post may not seem very structured or anything, but the reason I wrote it was to simply say: Thank you, Malala for your unbelievable sacrifice. I've never been more in awe of someone than I am of you right now. You understand what it means to follow your dreams and do what you believe in. Thank you for speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves. Everyone should be more like you.

My Views on Feminism Part 3

     So! Today as I was reading the Edmonton Sun (big mistake), I stumbled upon something that caused me some pretty serious inner conflict. About half way through the paper, there was an article that took up the whole entire page called "Sex Trade Pioneers". This article was obviously about pioneers and the sex trade. And I'd like to explain to you why it made me feel sort of amazed and sort of like I wanted to hit myself in the face.
     First of all, here is a little overview. The article was about a U of A student who did an exhibit on pioneer women and the sex trade. The article, again, took up the whole page, and explained to the reader the importance of the sex trade in the 1800s. It gave examples of women who owned brothels, took pornographic images, defied the RCMP, got arrested and sometimes ended up killing police officers. It also explained how when Edmonton's last brothel was shut down in the 1880s, many people deemed Edmonton to be uninhabitable. At the very end of the article, the journalist states that the student created this exhibit so that people would rethink the dehumanization of sex trade workers today.
     I'd like to tell you what I liked about this article. It was about women.
     Now, I'd like to tell you what I didn't like about this article. EVERYTHING ELSE. To start with, the article is about the freaking sex trade. Being a feminist, and an angry one, I cannot tolerate any sort of objectification of women at any time for any reason. There are definitely more opportunities for jobs today than there were in the 1880s, which is why the sex trade should be crumbling, but back then, do you really think there were many options? These women in the article who were killing police officers to save their brothels were most likely running a brothel so they could stay alive. I don't care if you own a gas station or a museum, if someone comes in and tries to take away from you what you've created, it's obvious that you will defend what is rightfully yours. Without being able to go to school or vote or make any type of decision without a husband, these women were left to do the "only thing  they're good for anyway": sex. I'm absolutely sure that they did not purposely become vigilantes. They were just trying to make a living and this is what happened. Now, I'm sure that this is what the U of A student was trying to get across. That these women were people trying to make a living and that's why they deserve some respect. I'm sure she was trying to show the strength of these women. I believe that they were strong. But, for goodness sakes, can we talk about strong women that weren't being used as objects for the pleasure of men? Where are the first wave feminists in this exhibit? If we're trying to get people to stop dehumanizing sex trade workers, maybe we should try to get them to stop dehumanizing women first.
     As I mentioned, there were women in the 1880s that were beginning the first wave of feminism. Lucy Stone was the first woman in 1884 to change her wedding vows and get rid of the word "obey". There were so many women fighting for their equality. WHY ISN'T THIS ARTICLE ABOUT  THEM? Where is Lucy Stone in the Edmonton Sun? Sadly, Lucy Stone isn't there because equality doesn't sell. Sex sells. Sex sells so well, in fact, that there was a whole page devoted to these poor women of the sex trade. Do you know how disappointing it is that this is the first article I've ever read in the Edmonton Sun about a group of women? I guess the only way that we can get in the paper at all is if we're objects. "Oh, Lucy Stone wasn't topless when she changed her marriage vows? Sorry, we can't write about that." I know for a fact that if this probably very intelligent university student did an exhibit on suffrage instead, it wouldn't have taken up half a page. Frankly, I'm disgusted.
     If we continue to focus on our sexuality being the only thing we're good for, we will not go anywhere. We are now at a point where we, as women, can freely choose to exercise our sexuality or not, but these women were not there yet! Not even close! They had to sell their bodies and other womens' bodies to men to make a living without a husband. Why is this being celebrated?  Women have had to put up with objectification since the 1800s, I now know, and they definitely had to put up with it before then too. We are still putting up with it every single day. From the time we're old enough to understand sentences, our mothers have been telling us to never go anywhere alone, always bring a trusted (male) friend just in case, never go anywhere in the dark, etc. We are familiar with objectification. Every single girl has been dealing with it her whole life. Why are we still treating it like it's okay? Why are we glorifying the objectification of the past for everyone to see? Yes. It happened, we understand that. Let's move on and make things better.

My Views on Feminism Part 2

     The last time I wrote about feminism, I was very angry. I'm still very angry. But the more I read and the more I talk about feminism, the better I feel.
     I'm reading a book right now called "Manifesta" by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards. The second I started reading this book, I was even more proud to call myself a feminist. In  "Manifesta", these women start off with talking about what feminism is and what feminism isn't, and that's what I'd like to talk about today.
     "In the most basic sense, feminism is exactly what the dictionary says it is: the movement for social, political and economic equality of men and women." Now, to me, it seems that with this being the definition, every single person in the world should be completely gung-ho for feminism. The problem is that a lot of the time, feminism is defined incorrectly. For example: "Feminists encourage women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, become lesbians, and destroy capitalism." I can tell you right now if that's what I thought feminism was, I would be slightly less interested in the idea. Because feminists are seen as radicals in society, no one can relate to them and the idea becomes less and less desirable. We have to realize though, that the man who said this is not wrong, he's just over-exaggerating and THAT is what makes feminism unrelatable; the idea that all feminists are crazy. I dare you to tell me that you don't know one woman who is unhappy with her husband, a woman that feels she isn't fit to be a mother, a woman who disagrees with the socially acceptable tradition of being a god-fearing Christian, a woman who is confused about her sexuality or simply likes to kiss other women, or a woman who disagrees with the corrupt system that kicked her out of her house in 2008. Every one of those situations is relatable. Feminism includes every woman who has issues with society and her place in it. "In reality, feminism wants you to be whoever you are-but with a political consciousness. And vice versa: you want to be a feminist because you want to be exactly who you are." That's it.
     Before I really immersed myself into the world of feminism, I was scared of it. I was scared of it because I had been taught that feminism wasn't normal. I'm ashamed to say it, but for a long time I thought every feminist was a lesbian. I am not a lesbian. I am attracted to women, yes. Perhaps this is because of the way I was exposed to the bodies of women by boys my age when I was growing up, or maybe it's just the way I am. Either way, I am still attracted to men and I feel that there is nothing wrong with this because I am free to be who I am. It's important to recognize how harmful labels are when we speak of things like feminism, communism, anarchism, or lesbianism. There's a spectrum and seeing past what society wants you to see is incredibly important in the growth of ideas and the growth of people.
     The reason that I believed that feminism was abnormal and bad was because that's exactly what society wanted me to think. I was scared of feminism because society is scared of feminism. Society is scared of a woman who doesn't shave her armpits and refuses to wear make up and is comfortable with being fat and has something to say to men who stare at her body. This is a feminist, but this is not the only type of feminism. THERE IS A SPECTRUM. If you are a woman and you have a job, you are a feminist. If you are a man and you love your partner because she is confident, comfortable with herself and REAL, you are a feminist. If you are a woman and keep your last name when you get married, you are a feminist. If you believe that both sexes should have the right to adopt a child, whether they are a single woman, man, or homosexual couple, you are a feminist. If you understand that you have the right to say "no" to sex when you don't want it, you are a feminist.
     Many people, women and men, believe that feminism will never get past the point that it's at now. The only reason feminism will become stagnant is because of people who say it will. The only thing holding feminism back is the denial of feminism. If you are a man or a woman and you believe in equality, free yourself from society's expectations, be a freaking feminist and be proud of it.
   
   

My Views On Feminism Part 1

Feminism has become incredibly important in my life in this past year. For a long time, the fact that I was a female never really meant all that much. It wasn't until about half of the way through middle school that I realized what was expected of me and the other girls my age now that my peers and I were past the childish egalitarianism of our pre-pubescent stage. I was expected to be thin. I was expected to be tall. I was expected to have a certain breast size. I was expected to show these things off to men. And, worst of all, I was expected to accept that "that's just the way it is".

     As highlighted by Naomi Wolf in her devastatingly wonderful book "The Beauty Myth", young girls go through their most important stage of development, the stage in which they are meant to find themselves intellectually and sexually, continuously thinking about how appealing their looks are to the opposite sex. This is not the fault of men, but the fault of capitalistic evil that pounces on young womens' insecurities. Women are overwhelmingly bombarded with a steady onslaught of female objectification that makes them feel as though they are insignificant in comparison. Once young girls hit this very confusing stage in their lives, they no longer think that the woman on that magazine in the grocery store is pretty. They despise her because she is the "ideal" and they are not. These young girls now understand that this is supposedly what appeals to men and if they do not look like this, they have failed. This is what leads these girls to believe that they need to buy the products that this woman uses because if they do, they will be that much closer . Advertisers are manipulating these innocent young women because of their sickening profit motive.

     It's completely heartbreaking that this time, so integral to a girls' thorough development as a person, is spent hating, envying and wanting. Where is the time for happiness and contentment when the stress and worry of not being good enough takes precedence? Girls are being cheated out of their happiness and intelligence because of the external pressures put on them by society to look a certain way.

     I should be able to eat ice cream whenever I want to and not feel guilty about it. I should be able to exercise daily because I like it, not because of how I want my body to look. I should be able to admire my fellow women and rejoice in their beauty and excellence without feeling even a hint of jealousy. This society is not built for women to be seen as equals but that doesn't mean it can't be.