ELLE WOODS IS SO BOSS

     You know when people tell you sitting on the couch and watching movies is a waste of time? They're absolutely 100% wrong because you can learn EVERYTHING from movies (slightly untrue, but I'm going with it). I first watched Legally Blonde when I was probably ten years-old and of course at the time I was like, ten, and obviously not super aware of what was going on, but I remember liking Elle because she was smart and wore nice clothes. If you haven't seen/read Legally Blonde, for god sakes this is 2014 (I'm not actually mad but you should go watch it), do yourself a favour and open yourself up to POP CULTURE. I just finished watching it and I am so hyped because Elle Woods is a perfect role model and AH I am just so stoked!
     So for all my movie h8ers (I'm just bugging you) in the crowd, here's why this movie is perfect and why I'm, like, convulsing in excitement right now. Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, is the protagonist and she looks like this:

     Stunning. Now, normally I wouldn't talk about a protagonist's looks but the whole movie is basically about judgy people being super judgy assholes, so I just thought I'd give you that visual for context. Here's a quick summary of the story, then I'll elaborate. Elle is from LA and she's a stereotypical, rich valley girl with amazing manners and gorgeous hair. She falls in love with Warner, who then goes to Harvard and breaks up with Elle. Elle applies to Harvard Law (wow) and goes to get Warner back. After learning that Warner has a new not-so-nice fiancé at Harvard, Elle is crushed, gets her nails done, makes friends with her manicurist, and then continues to fight for Warner. After learning that Warner thinks she's stupid, Elle is determined to kick ass and she does. She gets an internship under one of her professors and works really, really hard. After this professor makes a pass at Elle (gross), she second guesses herself and almost gives up. But she comes back, gets this professor fired, takes his position and continues to, once again, kick ass. Now, let me begin.

     Elle was in a sorority in LA. She references it often and you can tell that it's something she really cares about. Throughout the movie, it's apparent that her passion for sisterhood extends past the walls of the sorority house. To begin with, she makes friends with her manicurist, Paulette Bonafonte, almost immediately (they bond over getting their hearts broken, but a) who doesn't? and b) Hollywood can't give us everything we want yet). She helps Paulette to take control of her sexuality and what she wants by teaching her the infamous "bend and snap". Elle and Paulette become really close and Elle is always there for her. Another example of Elle's commitment to her sisters happens with her client. Belonging to the same sorority as Elle, the client told Elle her alibi but made her promise not to tell anyone else. Even though the case could've been easily solved with the alibi, Elle kept her promise and solved the case without it, proving that she's an awesome person and also a really good lawyer. The final example of Elle being amazing comes from her interactions with Warner's new fiancé. At first, Elle is curt and unpleasant because of the classic patriarchal competition between women over men (gag) but as time progresses and Elle begins to focus more on her work, their differences kind of disappear and they become friends. Overall, Elle is just being a really fucking nice person to almost everyone she comes into contact with. She creates bonds really fast and stays true to what she says, and I think that is so admirable. 

     Elle also doesn't take any shit whatsoever and I think that is sooooo underrated. We grow up being taught to be nice to everyone and have manners, and Elle portrays that really well, as I've just discussed. She's nice to everyone except for people who fuck her over, and that's something that a lot of people, including myself are missing in their lives. Of course it's important to be kind to people, but it's equally as important to stand up for yourself when people take advantage of/walk all over you. After Warner tells Elle that she "isn't smart enough", she proves him wrong. And when he tries to get her back, she calls him a "bonehead" and moves on. THANK YOU ELLE WOODS for responding to an awful comment with productivity and self-respect. There is nothing better than that. Elle takes it to the next level when she gets her boss fired. All she had to do was tell her friends what he did to her, they supported her and helped her, and she ended up taking his place. She thought about running away but she didn't and that is so powerful. If Legally Blonde teaches you nothing else, please just take from it that it is possible to handle shitty people in a mature and responsible way (i.e. "bonehead) and move on with your life instead of carrying on anger that could have been dealt with immediately.

     At the end of the movie, Elle gives a speech. In it she says two things that really stuck out to me: "Remember that first impressions are not always correct" and "YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF".  This first impressions business could literally translate to any person you meet in the whole world. DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. It is so ignorant and ridiculous to think that you know a person without even trying to see who they really are. We're all guilty of doing this at some point, I'm sure, but it is so BAD. And finally, having faith in yourself is the single best thing a person can do. Being nice, having friends, loving others, respecting others; those are all important things, but doing what you need to do to be happy is number one, always. That's what I believe anyways. It is okay to be confident, to love yourself, and to respect yourself. There is nothing wrong with that and anyone who tries to make you feel differently deserves to be called a bonehead, big time.

     Elle Woods is everything that I want my future daughter to see. Yes, she exemplifies completely every one of those stupid white girl stereotypes that are so famously talked about on the internet right now, but christ, that whole "white girls like pumpkin spice lattes and UGGs" thing is so racist. It's important to acknowledge that Elle is obviously privileged but she faces a lot of struggles and sees them through, female jealousy and sexual assault included, and things like these most likely stem from being a woman, not from being white. Stereotypes aside (as they should be - always), I think Elle is a perfect role model. She knows that she loves reading Cosmopolitan and getting her nails done and she knows just because she wants to be taken seriously as a lawyer doesn't mean she has to sacrifice any part of herself. She knows and understands completely that men are not entitled to her body, but she also isn't scared to express her sexuality in ways that she feels comfortable doing. She respects people always, no matter how different they are from her. She knows herself and knows what she wants and it is so damn INSPIRING. 

     All I have left to say is just go watch this movie so maybe all of my rambles will make sense. ELLE 4 PREZ. Goodnight.

Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



Keep Fightin' The Good Fight.

     Hi, my name is Jenelle and sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible human and I think outlandish, silly billy thoughts like, "Man, I am going to bed early! I might even go to bed at 8 o'clock." And then I don't and stay up and watch "Lost" and make bracelets like every other single girl does on a Tuesday night and think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my time but I just can't bring myself to do these things because I live with my parents and I'm just not motivated by my own self interest and believe it or not, both of these things are very limiting on a person's actions. Welcome to my life.
     My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?

1. First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done. 
2. Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
3. Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming. 
4. Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah? 
5. If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.

     So, that's my piece. Take from it what you will, dawg. I'm really not trying to offend any feminists with this post or start any weird stuff. I completely support any person who supports equality, I just think that sometimes we need to reevaluate the ways in which we're offering information and adjust accordingly. We need to take other peoples' feelings into account and just try to tell as many people about our cause as possible in a totally rational and approachable way. I hope this post made sense and I hope it maybe offered some information to those who are still unsure about the concept of feminism and all the magical, beautiful, witch-crafty powers it holds! I'd love any sort of questions or comments so get at me, kids. Thanks for the read! Peace...

#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

To Wed Or Not To Wed...

     Hey kids! I hope all is well. I've been really bad at remembering to write my blog lately. I'm in a weird point in my life where I'm kind of just drifting through, waiting for school to start. Working is not for me, guys. I feel like that really messes up what I'm supposed to do with my future. Whatever, I'll just go to school until I'm ninety-nine and then die with mass amounts of debt. Realistic.
     I want to talk about why I am completely neutral to the notion of marriage.
     For a long time, I disagreed with marriage hard. I figured that anything created, at the start, to rule women and make them the property of men had to be fucked. I thought, "Hey! That kind of stuff shouldn't be happening at all." And I'm right, and I still feel that way, but I recently read this article and it kind of changed my mind about a few things. Now, before I begin, I want to repeat what I said earlier: I'm completely indifferent when it comes to marriage, even though I'm definitely arguing for marriage in this post. The article I read was focused a lot on gay marriage, but it applies to all people, I think. The basic idea of the article was to say that gay people aren't ruining marriage, ALL people are ruining marriage, but also that it needs to be ruined. Marriage began as a business, basically. It was all about property, rules, materials, etc. It has evolved a lot over time according to the beliefs of people in certain areas of the world. For example, even in our current times, marriage as we know it here is drastically different than marriage in China or marriage in Egypt, even. The article I read was basically saying that if we look at the origin of marriage and how far we've come from that, we have, technically speaking, "ruined" marriage. People blaming homosexuals for ruining marriage are right, in a sense. But it's not only homosexuals who have ruined marriage. Polygamists, people who participate in hand-fasting ceremonies, people who have weddings that include elements of both, for example, Christianity and Islam due to the people being wed having different backgrounds, etc. have also "ruined""marriage" (Quotations, gosh). We're at the point in history where marriage can literally be whatever the hell anyone wants it to be and that IS SO AWESOME. We've ruined marriage, yeah, and it's the best thing we could have done. Marriage began as a patriarchal, judgemental load of shit and now it can be anything. So when people say they disagree with marriage, I respect that, sure. But I do wonder if maybe people disagree with the origins of marriage and that's why they're so unwilling to give it a shot today? Women can propose, women can marry women, people can get married UNDERWATER IN SCUBA SUITS, okay? There are so many options now. I feel like the definition of "marriage" in our time is literally people declaring that they love each other. That's it. Marriage doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be! The possibilities are endless! And that's why I don't give a fuck anymore. Sure, when marriage was an under-the-table handshake between a son and a father and a woman was tossed into uncertainty with a dowry in tow, that was nasty. Now it's anything, you know? So, who am I to say, "Hey! That man can't marry that woman! That woman can't marry that woman! Those two people can't marry their dogs to each other!", you know? It's not my business. People are gonna get married until the end of time, because people like to fall in love, and I think that's rad.
     Anyways, that's kind of all I have to say about that right now. I just think that it's really nice when people love each other and they should be able to do whatever they want about that love, you know? Let it run wild, or whatever.
     Coincidentally, as I'm writing this, my sister is eating a plate of ribs. She just looked over at me and said, "If ribs could talk, I would marry them." Have a nice day! Get married or don't!

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

Sing, Sang, Sung.

     Today, I just want to talk about how much I love being in a choir.
   
     I never really understood sports, ever. I liked gym class because there was no competition, I love to pedal bike, I love yoga, I like to walk around to places sometimes; you know, easy, fun stuff. I never understood why everyone loved full-contact, violent, bloody, primal sports. I couldn't share the passion. And I always felt extremely left out because of that, but I just couldn't force myself to do it. To me, sports are always super fun when you're just playing outside with your cousins because the weather is great, but competitive team sports actually make me want to vomit. I played soccer for three years and for the whole three years, I swear,  I was actually either a) on the bench or b) hiding. It was a disgrace, really. Don't get me wrong, I think it is so bad ass when people like sports and play them, I'm just sharing my opinion/personal experiences.

     Anyways, I figure that the reason people like to be punched in the face by basketballs so much is because they get to do it with people beside them who support them, love them, and have things in common with them. Teams, groups, clubs, alliances, guilds, etc. all have support and love. Basically, they're like a family but with people who actually understand you, and what could ever be better than that? This, my internet friends, is why I love choir.

     I've always loved singing. Ever since I could talk, I could sing. But I always did it alone and I didn't know any different. I joined choir in junior high, but it was a group of tone-deaf girls and one boy who all tried to sing in unison and ended up singing cluster chords. Anyways, the first time I heard a choral piece was in grade 10. This was also the first time I'd seen a piece of music with four parts. I was terrified. But the second I could feel I was singing the right note, and the second I could feel the basses, the tenors and the altos singing their right notes at the same moment as me, I knew that choir was where I belonged; I knew that choir would always be where I belonged. I understood, in that moment, why people liked team sports. I knew that everyone else in that room felt the same thing I felt. I knew that we all understood how incredible it was that these sounds were being made with our bodies; that this music was being made by muscles. It's magic. There's no other word to describe it.

     My choir is my second home. The people there understand what I do. When I try to explain to my parents that it's possible for a person to sing two notes at once or that when a chord is sung perfectly in tune, notes simply appear because of said perfection, I get a "That's nice, dear." And I'm not saying I don't love my parents, or that they don't appreciate what I do, they just don't understand it on the level that my choir family does. There is no other place in the world where you hear the words, "A tritone? YES!", or "Dude, your falsetto is fucking sweet." Every single person understands why the person beside them is standing there. We're all connected on such a different level than other people. I have a support group, I have fellow musicians who I can discuss my ideas with, and I have friends for life.

     Okay, I'm done gushing. I hope you all have a special group of people whom you can share your lives with. Have a nice night.
   

Hey, You're Awesome.

     Oh my god, I'm writing two days in a row. Does this make me...productive?
   
     So, I've been reading some stuff and talking to some people, because generally, those are both things that I like to do, and I've come up with some more words to project onto your screens. Cool?

     First of all, I had an insanely beautiful, honest, helpful, and just plain old fun Valentine's Day party with my girlfriends. Oooooh, the aggressive girl with the hateful blog is single! Big shocker, right? I know. Anyways, it was wonderful and it was definitely the most rewarding Valentine's Day I've ever had. I usually don't like to get to know people really quickly because I have a hard time connecting to people. I've realized over the past few months that I'm naturally a pretty introverted person and I'm learning to accept that, but these women made me feel welcomed and at home with them and with myself, so it was really easy for me to be open with them about my life. (Why am I being so personal?) The point of this story is to tell you what I learned from my group of single ladies. I'm not sure what exactly got us on the topic of self-confidence, but as we all know, every heart-to-heart talk between women has to touch on the subject in some way. As we were discussing this, one of my friends just flat out said, "You know, I don't know why it's so hard for people to like themselves. I think I'm pretty fucking awesome." And I just died. I was so happy in that moment. And then it got better. Another one of my friends said in response, "I know what you mean. Like, fuck, if you have nothing going for you, but you have confidence, at least you have confidence and that's something." Can you believe that I found friends this cool? I can't. I feel so honoured to know these women. They're so confident and sexy and sure of themselves in every way, it makes me feel really comforted to know that I have them at my side. I need everyone who's reading this right now to understand that they're right. Even if you have a big nose, weird lips, a funny laugh, or a crooked tooth, you have to rock that shit. You have to hold your head high and wear your flaws as if they're diamonds. You need to be confident because even if you feel as though you have nothing, you have confidence, and that is something. I don't know you, but I know you're strong. Have a little confidence; it'll go a long way.

     Side note: Before I go on to my "Secondly and lastly," bit here, I just want to say that I don't believe all men feel/act this way towards feminists. I'm not a man hater and I never will be a man hater. This is just the reality of the situation in some cases and that's what I will be addressing. If you're a man, I love you and I know that if you're reading this blog, you don't give the ladies any trouble. I respect you.

     Secondly and lastly, for the love of all things that evolution created, don't let men tell you that your feminism is reverse sexism. It's not. Unless, of course, you're saying that men are inherently bad or less than you. Then of course it's reverse sexism. But I know you're not like that, girls. You just want equality and love, right? You want to be seen as just as good as men are and I understand that. Every woman in the world understands that. The only reason that men ever say, "That's reverse sexism!" is simply because they're intimidated by your strength. Men know that women are treated as weaker, more fragile, less able, and less respectable forms of human life. The reason that these men are scared of your strength is because they don't want to be like you. They know that you're disrespected. They know that you're scared to walk home by yourself at night. They know that you might be afraid to let people see you without makeup on. And they don't want to switch roles with you. They don't want to be afraid. They don't want you to have the power and for them to be left as the second sex. Therefore, they tell you you're being a reverse sexist. So don't take it personally, okay? It's important that you know that you so entirely deserve to be respected and equal and you don't deserve to take any shit from anyone who says/implies otherwise.

     It's late, but I had a nap today, so I'm doing alright. I'm reading "Vagina" by Naomi Wolf and that's where all of this fiery girl power is stemming from. I like it. Goodnight.

It's Going To Be Okay, Okay?

     Today, I 'd like to say that it's okay to be sad.
     Life sucks sometimes. Life sucks sometimes a lot. For fuck sakes, I just ate a bag of chips and a half a jar of Nutella for supper. A small part of that decision has to do with the fact that I live alone now and can do those things without being judged, but I digress...
     If you're sad today, embrace it. Cry. Buy fifty chocolate bars. Look at pictures of Ryan Gosling without a shirt on. Pet your cat extra lots. Or your fish, if you have limited resources. Do whatever the hell you need to do and don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be doing it.
     Everyone has problems and that's hard for others to understand sometimes. Your friends might think that you've been acting sad for too long after a hard break-up or a death in the family. But they don't feel the way you feel, dude. So you stay that way as long as you need to, okay?
     And then when you're ready, change it.
     I don't know if I like to be personal or not on this blog yet, but I'm going to be vaguely personal for a few sentences. I just recently went through the worst thing that's ever happened to me (not an exaggeration) and I'm still going through it. Every day I wake up and remember. I remember everything. And I'm furious constantly. I cry every day. I've been this way for almost three months. And I don't know when it's going to be over. I'm not saying this because I want attention or anything like that, I can handle it myself. I'm just sharing.
     So, the point of this personal, emotional bullshit is to tell you that I'm trying to change it now. I don't know if it's time for me to change it, but I would really like to remember what being happy feels like, so I'm doing my best. Wanna know how I'm doing it? SURE YOU DO!
     1. I started a journal. I write in it as often as I can and I write things I want to remember, things I don't want to remember, things I should have realized by now but haven't, things I love, things I need to say to people but can't, etc. I write as much as I possibly can. And it really helps me. I don't know if it'll help you, but it's worth a try, right?
     2. I've started completely immersing myself in everything that I love. It took me a while to be able to do anything but mope for a while, but I just recently started reading again (NAOMI WOLF) and I love it. I think if you're into reading, the best thing to read if you're sad is something you can completely relate to. Naomi Wolf writes about vaginas. Hey! I have one of those! You know? Read something that makes you feel less alone. Other than reading, I've been singing steady. I'm in choir, so that helps. And writing. I've been writing a lot of stuff. Basically, I've just been giving myself homework so that I can focus on that.
     3. Hang out with your fucking mom. I don't care what anyone says, this is what will make you feel better about your life, ultimately. Mom cuddles. Nothing better.
     4. Eat. Eat a lot.
     I'm not giving in to my sadness. I know that this isn't me and there's no way I'm going to let it control me forever. It's controlling me now, yes, but I'm trying my hardest to make sure it doesn't control me for any longer than it already has. Don't give in to your sadness.
     My best friend in the whole world told me that if you have nothing else and you can't think of a reason to live anymore, think of how it smells after it rains, and that's enough.    

Please Just Calm Down.

     Just before I start, I'd like to say that I tried as hard as I could to be professional and not say bad words in my posts, but that's the way I talk in real life. So why wouldn't I write like that, right? I don't really care if it offends you or not, I just thought I'd let you know what's up with that and why I've gotten progressively more intense as time has passed.
     The last time I tried to write about feminism, I got verbally abused (without any hint of constructive criticism) by a person who knew a lot more than I did about it, and that's okay. I was kind of hurt by it at the time, but then I realized that person is just a troll. To you, my dear instigator of frustration, I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize that there's people out there who know more than I do and I need to read more. Thank you for being so utterly condescending towards someone who is trying to learn (sarcasm). Also, thank you for making me realize that I don't really care about being "third wave". I think it's fantastic that some people are confident enough to call themselves that, but I don't think it's very important to me personally. All I care about is people realizing that feminism is an issue that needs to be addressed and the importance of equality among men and women. And lastly, thank you for making me feel better about your comment by making me realize that you've got a lot of work to do too. A true feminist wouldn't diss another feminist's point of view simply because it isn't necessarily the same kind of feminism. Arguing is cool. If you want to argue with me, I invite you! But don't just put me down and not offer up any kind of advice. Frankly, I think that's a little rude simply on a person to person basis.
     Phew.
     That's been building up inside of me for a long time.
     Anyways, I just have a few things to rant about and stuff, so stick around if you've got the time.
     1. Stop thinking you're ugly. I don't care who you are, where you live, what sexual orientation you are, what colour your hair is, or how many fingers you have on your right hand.

You are not ugly.  

     Saying you're ugly is giving in. It's giving in to every single person that's every put themselves above you on any level, it's giving in to society, it's giving in to Victoria's Secret, it's giving in to Covergirl, it's giving in to Playboy. Don't give in. I  guarantee that someone you know thinks you're beautiful. Or at least someone on Instagram thinks you're beautiful. Definitely your mom thinks you're beautiful. And if they don't...

     2. Stop giving a shit about what other people think. I know that you've been hearing different variations of that phrase since you were five years-old, but I'm serious. Why should you care? No one is better than you. No one should be able to make you feel inferior. Everyone is equal. If you spend all of your time caring about what other people think you won't ever be satisfied. BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM BRO. Sure, you can ask. Sure, you can guess. But people lie and assuming is stupid. The only person you can ever truly trust is yourself. So start caring about what YOU think, dude. 

     3. Focus on loving people and the relationships you have. "Ugh, this girl is a hippy." said the judgemental blog reader. When I speak to girls, a lot of the time I hear, "Oh, I wish I had hair like hers", "I hate that girl; her legs are so long", and "Look at that girl's make up, it's so nice. What a bitch." Stop it. For fuck sakes, just give it up. Maybe instead of being envious, you could go up to that pretty lady and say, "Gurrrl, you got some sick legs. Show those babies off! Good for you!", you know? Stop hating people because they have stuff that you want. You have great stuff too! Just be happy with your own stuff and be happy for other people with their stuff. CALM DOWN. Do you know how many more friends you would have if you complimented a fellow girl every time you liked something about her? You would have a lot more friends, in case you didn't get where I was going there. Also, if you stop focusing on being so jealous and down on yourself, your significant other is going to like you a whole lot more. Yep, I went there. Just think about it; how much would you hate it if the person you loved more than anyone else in the world spent all of his/her time hating himself/herself? Especially if this prevented him/her from seeing how much you love him/her? Be confident, guys! Love your bodies and love your souls. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be unbelievably sexy and incredibly kind, he/she just needs to believe it. 

     I don't mean to be rude or preachy with this post, I just want everyone to love themselves. 

     If you have any questions or comments, I would really, really like some feedback. Comment below or email me: jenelledufva@gmail.com

    

     Do something fun tonight! Thanks for reading. 

"The Hipster Dilemma" followed by "The Hipster Solution"

     Hi. Sorry I've been a shitty blogger lately. I'm probably only apologizing to one person because no one ever reads this, but I do sincerely apologize to you, dude. One of my new years' resolutions is to actually blog at least once every two days. My life has just been a complete and utter mess lately but I'm gonna get back on track pretty soon, I promise. I feel like the new year is going to bring a lot of good things my way and hopefully that's reflected in my blog activity. Anyway, considering the fact that my life sucks right now, this blog entry might be a little weak, but I just like writing. Especially ranting. About stupid stuff that people say. Mwahaha.

     So, this is the thing, guys. This is basically the most important issue facing us kids in the 18-22 year-old range who have good taste in clothes and teas. This is the term that we fear. And, paradoxically, the term we cannot get away from.

HIPSTER. 

     Doesn't it just scare the shit out of you? Doesn't it make you quiver in your knitted wool scarves? Are you shivering in your studded Steve Madden combat boots and your stylishly nerdy Ray-Bans? Are you spilling your Jasmine infused green tea all over your courduroy half-gloves while you shake, listening to some band I don't even know the name of? You are. I am. We all are. Because it's terrifying. Let me tell you why.

     In case you don't know the definition of a hipster, here you go: A hipster is defined as a person who keeps up with all of the latest trends in clothes, music and entertainment. That seems harmless enough, right? It shouldn't bug anyone. But it does! People are incredibly offended by the idea of other people thinking of themselves as cool! It's hilarious, really. So, these people that hate hipsters have started to use the term "hipster" as an insult, which, let's face it, is why the term was created in the first place. When one of your friends (who is definitely cooler than you, by the way) brags and brags and brags to you about his new record player, you instantly think, "Fucking hipster." Of course you do! The guy is being a jerk-off! And adding the word hipster in there just makes the insult that much more effective. There are lots of asshole hipsters and there are lots of harmless, nice hipsters, just like in every other group of humans. Basketball players, retail salesmen, hairdressers, drug addicts, etc. It's not fair to think of all hipsters as inherently bad because a few are dumb. You wouldn't do that with any other group of people, would you? There are some good ones and some bad ones and that's just how it is. But a lot of people do see ALL hipsters as being pretentious and snobby and that's what makes us stylish, smart people so scared. We don't want to be seen as rude or cocky, we just like cool stuff and we like to hear about it first, okay? Calm down.

     It sucks to live in constant fear of this label. It sucks to live in constant fear of ANY label, for that matter. So, my solution for all of you nice people who listened to Crosby Stills & Nash before they were popular, is to not worry. If people are shallow enough to judge you on your beautiful owl jewelry or your many different toques, then you shouldn't have to care what they think. They're just jealous because you're an individual, dude. You know what you like and you know how to look good while doing it, and some people just can't handle that. So, walk with your half-shaved head held high and let the world know that you don't care. You're fabulous. Whether you're a woman or a man, short or tall, gay or straight, hipster or mediocre, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. You're a person and you're my fellow person and I love you and everyone else should too. But I loved you before all of those other people; remember that. 

P.S. The food blog will start once I move out, which will be in January sometime.