If you are a male, you may see this as being aimed more towards women, but it's totally relevant to you as well. Just translate the stereotypes into ones that you have been personally affected by and it'll all make perfect sense.
It was recently drawn to my attention by my favourite Instagram account that sometimes, I have misogynist tendencies.
*gasp*
"Well, Jenelle! How could you have misogynist tendencies? You are obviously so feminist!" said the beautiful blog reader who actually reads this blog and who Jenelle so deeply appreciates. You're right, reader. I am really feminist, obviously. But there's something that all girls deal with that I'd never really thought of as misogyny, just the truth, and it's terrible! It's so upsetting that this idea is so completely accepted by women. Before I get ahead of myself, though, let me explain what I mean.
Girls, please picture the following scenario:
Gossipy girl whom no one likes says: "Oh my gosh, did you see what [insert name here] was doing with [insert name here]? I can't believe they did that!"
Boy whom is sexually attractive to you overhears gossipy girl and says to you: "Ugh, I hate it when girls gossip like that."
You: "I know, right? I hate girls. I'm so not like all of those other bitches. That's why I'm only friends with boys."
Okay, so maybe your scenario went a little differently and a few words were swapped around here and there, but you catch my drift, right? Every single woman has been in this situation before. And honestly, before it was seriously brought to my attention, I'd never thought about the effect this might have on society. I will now explain, first of all, why this happens and secondly, why it's so harmful.
I don't care who you are, what you do, or what you think you do, every single person in the world wants to be seen as an individual. And that's completely understandable! That's definitely something that is important to me. I don't want to blend in with the crowd or whatever. The problem with this is that sometimes, to make themselves seem more likeable and more unique, people throw others under the bus. And that's what's happening in this situation. If someone says something negative about a group of people that you belong to, obviously you're going to try your best to stand out from that group so that you, as an individual, aren't seen in the same negative light. In this really difficult situation, women are putting their sisters down in an attempt to seem cool, basically. They want attention, and recognition for being nice, not gossipy, not catty, etc. and in doing this, they, without even thinking about it, undermine the kindness and respectfulness of other women that also don't fit into this terrible stereotype.
Now, the reason why this is so harmful should be pretty apparent already. Women have to put up with so much shit from every angle, at all times, every day of their lives. And now, with these kind of situations, not only do they have to deal with being called bitches, being stared at, being objectified, being at the receiving end of never ending sexist jokes, now they have to deal with their sisters, their fellow women, putting them down as well. There's already enough hate built up against us, ladies. We don't need to make more by agreeing with people about these stereotypes! Not all women like to gossip or read magazines. Some do, and that's fine, but not all. It's so important to understand that equality is equality in every sense. I can't believe that I didn't see how awful I was being when I agreed with people on these points. I know a lot of women that do these things, some of whom I like and some of whom I don't. And that's okay, because the way that they act isn't my problem and I shouldn't be making it my problem. People should be able to be free and not have to worry about stereotypes of any kind. Especially women, guys. Come on. Women are so fucking oppressed already. We don't need this. We don't need it from men and we REALLY don't need it from women.
So, this is me apologizing to all of the women that I've ever mindlessly stereotyped because I wanted people to think that I was cool. I'm really, really sorry. Every woman is beautiful and intelligent in her own right and it's not okay to put us all into one big box. The individuality and respect of every woman is way more important to me than how others view me. Even if they are attractive men.
What I'm getting down to here is, the next time you try to break free of stereotypes, break free hard, girl! But leave us other women out of it, okay? We're all individuals too and we deserve recognition for that.
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