Watch Your Sisters' Backs, Sisters.

     Hi!
     If you are a male, you may see this as being aimed more towards women, but it's totally relevant to you as well. Just translate the stereotypes into ones that you have been personally affected by and it'll all make perfect sense.
     It was recently drawn to my attention by my favourite Instagram account that sometimes, I have misogynist tendencies.

*gasp* 

   
     "Well, Jenelle! How could you have misogynist tendencies? You are obviously so feminist!" said the beautiful blog reader who actually reads this blog and who Jenelle so deeply appreciates. You're right, reader. I am really feminist, obviously. But there's something that all girls deal with that I'd never really thought of as misogyny, just the truth, and it's terrible! It's so upsetting that this idea is so completely accepted by women. Before I get ahead of myself, though, let me explain what I mean.
     Girls, please picture the following scenario:
   
     Gossipy girl whom no one likes says: "Oh my gosh, did you see what [insert name here] was doing with [insert name here]? I can't believe they did that!"

     Boy whom is sexually attractive to you overhears gossipy girl and says to you: "Ugh, I hate it when girls gossip like that."

     You: "I know, right? I hate girls. I'm so not like all of those other bitches. That's why I'm only friends with boys."

     Okay, so maybe your scenario went a little differently and a few words were swapped around here and there, but you catch my drift, right? Every single woman has been in this situation before. And honestly, before it was seriously brought to my attention, I'd never thought about the effect this might have on society. I will now explain, first of all, why this happens and secondly, why it's so harmful.
     I don't care who you are, what you do, or what you think you do, every single person in the world wants to be seen as an individual. And that's completely understandable! That's definitely something that is important to me. I don't want to blend in with the crowd or whatever. The problem with this is that sometimes, to make themselves seem more likeable and more unique, people throw others under the bus. And that's what's happening in this situation. If someone says something negative about a group of people that you belong to, obviously you're going to try your best to stand out from that group so that you, as an individual, aren't seen in the same negative light. In this really difficult situation, women are putting their sisters down in an attempt to seem cool, basically. They want attention, and recognition for being nice, not gossipy, not catty, etc. and in doing this, they, without even thinking about it, undermine the kindness and respectfulness of other women that also don't fit into this terrible stereotype.
     Now, the reason why this is so harmful should be pretty apparent already. Women have to put up with so much shit from every angle, at all times, every day of their lives. And now, with these kind of situations, not only do they have to deal with being called bitches, being stared at, being objectified, being at the receiving end of never ending sexist jokes, now they have to deal with their sisters, their fellow women, putting them down as well. There's already enough hate built up against us, ladies. We don't need to make more by agreeing with people about these stereotypes! Not all women like to gossip or read magazines. Some do, and that's fine, but not all. It's so important to understand that equality is equality in every sense. I can't believe that I didn't see how awful I was being when I agreed with people on these points. I know a lot of women that do these things, some of whom I like and some of whom I don't. And that's okay, because the way that they act isn't my problem and I shouldn't be making it my problem. People should be able to be free and not have to worry about stereotypes of any kind. Especially women, guys. Come on. Women are so fucking oppressed already. We don't need this. We don't need it from men and we REALLY don't need it from women.
     So, this is me apologizing to all of the women that I've ever mindlessly stereotyped because I wanted people to think that I was cool. I'm really, really sorry. Every woman is beautiful and intelligent in her own right and it's not okay to put us all into one big box. The individuality and respect of every woman is way more important to me than how others view me. Even if they are attractive men.
     What I'm getting down to here is, the next time you try to break free of stereotypes, break free hard, girl! But leave us other women out of it, okay? We're all individuals too and we deserve recognition for that.
     

Please Just Calm Down.

     Just before I start, I'd like to say that I tried as hard as I could to be professional and not say bad words in my posts, but that's the way I talk in real life. So why wouldn't I write like that, right? I don't really care if it offends you or not, I just thought I'd let you know what's up with that and why I've gotten progressively more intense as time has passed.
     The last time I tried to write about feminism, I got verbally abused (without any hint of constructive criticism) by a person who knew a lot more than I did about it, and that's okay. I was kind of hurt by it at the time, but then I realized that person is just a troll. To you, my dear instigator of frustration, I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize that there's people out there who know more than I do and I need to read more. Thank you for being so utterly condescending towards someone who is trying to learn (sarcasm). Also, thank you for making me realize that I don't really care about being "third wave". I think it's fantastic that some people are confident enough to call themselves that, but I don't think it's very important to me personally. All I care about is people realizing that feminism is an issue that needs to be addressed and the importance of equality among men and women. And lastly, thank you for making me feel better about your comment by making me realize that you've got a lot of work to do too. A true feminist wouldn't diss another feminist's point of view simply because it isn't necessarily the same kind of feminism. Arguing is cool. If you want to argue with me, I invite you! But don't just put me down and not offer up any kind of advice. Frankly, I think that's a little rude simply on a person to person basis.
     Phew.
     That's been building up inside of me for a long time.
     Anyways, I just have a few things to rant about and stuff, so stick around if you've got the time.
     1. Stop thinking you're ugly. I don't care who you are, where you live, what sexual orientation you are, what colour your hair is, or how many fingers you have on your right hand.

You are not ugly.  

     Saying you're ugly is giving in. It's giving in to every single person that's every put themselves above you on any level, it's giving in to society, it's giving in to Victoria's Secret, it's giving in to Covergirl, it's giving in to Playboy. Don't give in. I  guarantee that someone you know thinks you're beautiful. Or at least someone on Instagram thinks you're beautiful. Definitely your mom thinks you're beautiful. And if they don't...

     2. Stop giving a shit about what other people think. I know that you've been hearing different variations of that phrase since you were five years-old, but I'm serious. Why should you care? No one is better than you. No one should be able to make you feel inferior. Everyone is equal. If you spend all of your time caring about what other people think you won't ever be satisfied. BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM BRO. Sure, you can ask. Sure, you can guess. But people lie and assuming is stupid. The only person you can ever truly trust is yourself. So start caring about what YOU think, dude. 

     3. Focus on loving people and the relationships you have. "Ugh, this girl is a hippy." said the judgemental blog reader. When I speak to girls, a lot of the time I hear, "Oh, I wish I had hair like hers", "I hate that girl; her legs are so long", and "Look at that girl's make up, it's so nice. What a bitch." Stop it. For fuck sakes, just give it up. Maybe instead of being envious, you could go up to that pretty lady and say, "Gurrrl, you got some sick legs. Show those babies off! Good for you!", you know? Stop hating people because they have stuff that you want. You have great stuff too! Just be happy with your own stuff and be happy for other people with their stuff. CALM DOWN. Do you know how many more friends you would have if you complimented a fellow girl every time you liked something about her? You would have a lot more friends, in case you didn't get where I was going there. Also, if you stop focusing on being so jealous and down on yourself, your significant other is going to like you a whole lot more. Yep, I went there. Just think about it; how much would you hate it if the person you loved more than anyone else in the world spent all of his/her time hating himself/herself? Especially if this prevented him/her from seeing how much you love him/her? Be confident, guys! Love your bodies and love your souls. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be unbelievably sexy and incredibly kind, he/she just needs to believe it. 

     I don't mean to be rude or preachy with this post, I just want everyone to love themselves. 

     If you have any questions or comments, I would really, really like some feedback. Comment below or email me: jenelledufva@gmail.com

    

     Do something fun tonight! Thanks for reading. 

"The Hipster Dilemma" followed by "The Hipster Solution"

     Hi. Sorry I've been a shitty blogger lately. I'm probably only apologizing to one person because no one ever reads this, but I do sincerely apologize to you, dude. One of my new years' resolutions is to actually blog at least once every two days. My life has just been a complete and utter mess lately but I'm gonna get back on track pretty soon, I promise. I feel like the new year is going to bring a lot of good things my way and hopefully that's reflected in my blog activity. Anyway, considering the fact that my life sucks right now, this blog entry might be a little weak, but I just like writing. Especially ranting. About stupid stuff that people say. Mwahaha.

     So, this is the thing, guys. This is basically the most important issue facing us kids in the 18-22 year-old range who have good taste in clothes and teas. This is the term that we fear. And, paradoxically, the term we cannot get away from.

HIPSTER. 

     Doesn't it just scare the shit out of you? Doesn't it make you quiver in your knitted wool scarves? Are you shivering in your studded Steve Madden combat boots and your stylishly nerdy Ray-Bans? Are you spilling your Jasmine infused green tea all over your courduroy half-gloves while you shake, listening to some band I don't even know the name of? You are. I am. We all are. Because it's terrifying. Let me tell you why.

     In case you don't know the definition of a hipster, here you go: A hipster is defined as a person who keeps up with all of the latest trends in clothes, music and entertainment. That seems harmless enough, right? It shouldn't bug anyone. But it does! People are incredibly offended by the idea of other people thinking of themselves as cool! It's hilarious, really. So, these people that hate hipsters have started to use the term "hipster" as an insult, which, let's face it, is why the term was created in the first place. When one of your friends (who is definitely cooler than you, by the way) brags and brags and brags to you about his new record player, you instantly think, "Fucking hipster." Of course you do! The guy is being a jerk-off! And adding the word hipster in there just makes the insult that much more effective. There are lots of asshole hipsters and there are lots of harmless, nice hipsters, just like in every other group of humans. Basketball players, retail salesmen, hairdressers, drug addicts, etc. It's not fair to think of all hipsters as inherently bad because a few are dumb. You wouldn't do that with any other group of people, would you? There are some good ones and some bad ones and that's just how it is. But a lot of people do see ALL hipsters as being pretentious and snobby and that's what makes us stylish, smart people so scared. We don't want to be seen as rude or cocky, we just like cool stuff and we like to hear about it first, okay? Calm down.

     It sucks to live in constant fear of this label. It sucks to live in constant fear of ANY label, for that matter. So, my solution for all of you nice people who listened to Crosby Stills & Nash before they were popular, is to not worry. If people are shallow enough to judge you on your beautiful owl jewelry or your many different toques, then you shouldn't have to care what they think. They're just jealous because you're an individual, dude. You know what you like and you know how to look good while doing it, and some people just can't handle that. So, walk with your half-shaved head held high and let the world know that you don't care. You're fabulous. Whether you're a woman or a man, short or tall, gay or straight, hipster or mediocre, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. You're a person and you're my fellow person and I love you and everyone else should too. But I loved you before all of those other people; remember that. 

P.S. The food blog will start once I move out, which will be in January sometime.