After This, We'll Be Best Friends.

     Hi, guys. I'm having a terrible time right now. Wanna hear about it? Cool. I hope you understand that what I write in this blog isn't even stuff that I actually say out loud, which may actually be really negative for my soul, but bear with me for now, okay? I'll get to the point where I can actually be as rude/boisterous/emotionally stimulating/courageous as I am on here in real life in my own time. Honestly, I'm kind of writing this post to get some sort of feedback on what I should do here.
     First of all, I'm having an awful time being inspired to do anything that I care about. I used to do so many good things, you know? I fucking painted all the time, wrote songs, rode my bike, read books, did origami, had arguments, etc. and now I don't do any of that, and I'm really trying to figure out why. I don't even read BOOKS anymore, guys. I used to read all the damn time and now I don't even want to. Well, maybe that isn't true, but I haven't found anything to be interesting enough to read in a long time. My main theory right now is that I'm kind of just waiting to start school and that, once I start school, I'll kind of get back into my groove, you know? But I'm just not sure, and it's the "not knowing" thing that terrifies me. Because I really liked who I used to be and I don't entirely like the person I'm turning into now, and I really want to change that, but I'm not motivated and it is TOTALLY KILLING ALL OF MY VIBES. So that's my first issue with myself - take it or leave it.
     My second thing is that I think I'm too angry. I was thinking about it today, and I realized that if I had to pick a personality type to describe myself, I would probably pick "passive aggressive". And I truly don't believe that's a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should take a break for a few minutes and just appreciate something - like, appreciate anything, really. I went to a rad concert last night and while I was watching it, crying my fucking face off, I was all, "Jenelle, this is why you're alive. You have to remember how this feels and transfer it to other parts of your life. You have to make things better. You have to appreciate other things." And that made me feel good! Because I was addressing the situation and I had a lot of hope, you know? I still kind of feel that today, but I don't feel the same spark, and I don't know how to get it back.
     I just "Stumbled" onto a page combatting teen pregnancy and got really mad and thought, "Well, what if those teens want to be pregnant? Fuckhead internet." And then I realized that was totally irrational and maybe I need to evaluate my life a little bit. I know that being an agitator is a positive thing in a lot of ways (in most ways), but sometimes I wonder if I'm too focused on being mad and maybe not focused enough on being happy? This is my dilemma.
     I don't want you to click away from this post thinking, "Man - Jenelle is really down on herself! She's not the confident, bad-ass bitch I thought I knew." Don't think that at all. I still think I'm fucking rad, I'm just kind of in a pickle right now and I'm trying to figure out how to solve it, and some friendly advice from people who care enough to read my blog would be refreshing. This probably should have just been a diary thing, but I don't like diaries and I really don't have one, so I'm giving my heart and soul to the internet in hopes of an answer. Without religion, the internet is all us atheists have, amirite? That was probably inappropriate. I'm going to stoop back into my late-night loneliness and let you cool cats get some sleep. Thanks for reading my internal frustrations that I spewed out onto the beginnings of my writing career. Hit me up with some answers, stand-in Jesus. Goodnight.

Long Time, No Blog.

     Well, hey there bloggin' friends. How goes? It's been a while! Sorry about that. Well, actually, I'm not sorry. I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, so I think this little break has been good. Plus I don't know if anyone actually reads this. But I'm back and I am into this stuff! So let's start, shall we?
     My life has changed a little since we last spoke. I am now unemployed and this didn't happen by choice. Yep, I'm a bum. And I hate it. I really, really hate it. But I'm job searching right now and it's going okay! I just have to be patient. I've also just joined a new choir and that makes me SO happy. It's such a refreshing atmosphere.
     So I have been thinking about a lot of stuff, but what I'm going to write about today, I actually just thought of, like, five minutes ago. My opinions and thoughts on this are super underdeveloped, so please don't judge me, I'm just thinking out loud over here.
     My best friend and I talk a lot about technology. It's amazing; the way we've progressed, the things we know now that we wouldn't have, the unbelievable connection between people all over the world, etc., etc. It's great and it opens up so many doors that wouldn't have been opened otherwise.
     Now, take a second and think of homeschooled kids. We all know a few and maybe you are a homeschooled kid yourself (Hi!). I really don't want to overgeneralize and offend and say that all homeschooled kids are "weird" because that's rude. I think there's definitely a ton of benefits that come from a homeschooled environment. You have an endless amount of class options, school only takes about three hours a day, you can wear your pyjamas 24 hours a day without judgement; overall, it sounds like a pretty sweet lifestyle! But we all know that if you are homeschooled, there is a disadvantage that is pretty common throughout the population: social skills. Many (not all) homeschooled children lack social skills. When faced with this fact, I think of all of the things I've learned throughout my thirteen years in school but not in class: wrong facts about sex at the age of eight, being exposed to the cruelty of some of my peers' parents, learning that it was cool to use bad language and all the rest of that fun stuff.  When I reflect on all of those things, I almost wish that I hadn't been exposed to so much social interaction. It made me really confused and I think it made me grow up a lot faster than I should have. But, it also made me the person I am today, and I think that having those experiences really shaped my worldview.
     So! Back to technology. This is the main reason why I wrote this post at all (sorry if it seems a little scattered). More than anything, I really wanted to ask what people think about this: Is it possible, in our day and age, for homeschooled children to become socially adept with such easy access to technology? There are SO many opportunities for communication and connection with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. Can these kids grow up being confined to their homes and still have the same kind of confusing, weird, uncomfortable experiences that I had in my public school days? I really hope so. I had never thought of this aspect of technology until today and I think it might end up being one of the most helpful. If these social media websites can bring these kids out of their shells, we might have a whole new, better, more free form of education to consider. Let me know what you think guys! Again, this is really underdeveloped, but I would absolutely love to hear your opinions and broaden my horizons.        Have a nice day!

P.S. I'll be starting a food blog soon! If you like yummy vegetarian eats, it might be right up your alley.