Why I'm A Soon-To-Be University Dropout.

     Okay, here we go. At the moment, I'm sitting in a Second Cup. I came here because I find it impossible to do homework without people watching me. I'm not motivated to do things on my own, and I figure if I slack off and people are around and I imagine these people thinking, "Man, that girl is really not doing her homework like she's supposed to be doing...", it'll make me feel more inclined to actually do work. This peer pressure study scheme that I've created for myself has failed, friends. And it's not because all of these people around me aren't scary, it's because I hate school. I don't hate school completely, but at this point in my life, what I'm doing right now is not good for me and it's driving me up the wall.
     On New Years Eve, I decided that this was going to be my last semester. That made me really excited because I figured in this semester I would just try to have a lot of fun and not be stressed out, and that seems reasonable, right? Just taking classes that I like solely for the purpose of learning and nothing else. So, I loaded up my course schedule with English, Women's Studies, Philosophy, Classics, and History of Western Music. The first day of classes, I dropped the Western Music class because the textbook was $170 (!!!!%%&$*#&@&$#*). I didn't even go to the class one time. The next day, I dropped Philosophy because my professor was like, "You'll need to have a handle on basic high school algebra" and I was like, "Kay, see ya". A week later, I dropped my Classics course because my prof was the most boring speaker I've ever heard in my life. I know he's probably incredibly intelligent and a really cool guy, but it just didn't work for me. So here I am now - down to two classes, a part-time student. You think it'd be a walk in the park, right? For the most part, it is. I go to class (most of the time) and I take notes on the things I'm supposed to take notes on and I do my assignments the way my profs want me to do them, and a lot of the time I really do enjoy the content. I like listening to these people who have years of experience in their fields tell me about all of these really cool facts, and different ways to read, and think and all of that. It's really nice to see people who are passionate about what they do. I love professors. They're neat people. But on another level, it makes me that much more upset about the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing there. My whole "this semester is going to be fun because I'm not working towards anything la la la" attitude has turned into an existential "why am I wasting my youth on sitting and digesting the stuff this corporation of an institution wants me to learn, I'm just paying them to be miserable, basically" attitude. What I'm angry about, if you didn't catch on in that last sentence, is the institution - the school itself. I've mentioned this briefly before but I never really got into exactly what I don't like about it. Let me enlighten you and get super personal (is it possible to get more personal?? Why am I telling you everything???). I received a loan from the government of Alberta for $13,000 dollars to live and go to school over this past year. I did it because I thought I would love university, I thought I would stay, and I thought it would be worth it. I loved high school, and loving university is what I was supposed to do, right? Not included in this loan were textbook costs. Overall, I think I spent about $600 on textbooks. Dropping all of those classes really helped me out though. Getting back $200 from this place that I hate was like a dream come true. So anyways, my point is, here I am in this Second Cup, worried about even buying a cup of coffee because that's how "in the hole" I am financially, and this school that's given me mostly stress and bad feelings is taking my money without batting an eye. It doesn't seem fair to me and it makes me upset.
     Now, before you get all frustrated with me because I'm just doing a lot of bitching, I want to say something. Firstly, I am so lucky to live in a place in the world where I am able to go to school and get an education. The freedom for people to choose to do that is something that I really value. It's just not for me, personally. Secondly, if you like school, I am so happy for you. If you fit in there and you feel like you're getting a lot out of your classes and you are just in love with every building you go to class in and you want to set up a tent in the hallway you love it so much, I am so, so, so happy for you. That's what everyone should feel - like they're spending their time on something that truly means something to them. If you can afford to go to school - hell, if you can't afford to go to school - and you are legitimately happy being there, fucking stay. Stay and be smart and be you and just have fun. All I'm saying is that this doesn't work for me. And honestly, after I spewed all of that anti-capitalist hate garbage (lawl), I'm not even as bitter about it as I seem, believe it or not. I'm glad that I know now, you know? If I never went to school at all, I would have always wondered, "Hmmm, what would a 300-level Philosophy class be like?" Now, that I've been to school, I know that it's full of computer scientists who just love math and that's cool. But it's not for me, and because I tried it out, I know that.
     In summary, the school I've been going to doesn't work for me because I feel like I should be doing something better with my time if I'm not sure about this right now. So, I'm going to finish off this semester and try to get the most out of it that I possibly can, I'm going to work my ass off this summer, and then travel. The way I see it is I could stay in school and learn how I'm supposed to be living, or I could just actually go out and live.
     I hope that this post spoke to you if you're unhappy with the institution you're currently stuck in. Even if you are happy with the institution you are in (again, I'm so happy for you), maybe this will help you understand why a lot of the people who started school at the same time you did aren't there anymore. Every one is different and every one needs different things. If you're happy where you are, stay there. If you aren't, get the fuck out and try something else. The only thing holding you back is yourself and I've experienced that first-hand. Always exercise your talents and always do what feels best for you, not what feels best for your parents or friends who think you should be doing something else. If you want to rip me to pieces for this post and tell me I'm an ungrateful first-worlder, feel free because I probably am. I just want people to acknowledge their feelings about where they are in their lives and follow them. That is fucking cheesy of me to say. But it works! I've acknowledged that I hate school and I feel light as a feather. Give it a shot and ask yourself if you're happy. It'll pay off. Ew, a money pun.

Long Time, No Blog.

     Well, hey there bloggin' friends. How goes? It's been a while! Sorry about that. Well, actually, I'm not sorry. I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, so I think this little break has been good. Plus I don't know if anyone actually reads this. But I'm back and I am into this stuff! So let's start, shall we?
     My life has changed a little since we last spoke. I am now unemployed and this didn't happen by choice. Yep, I'm a bum. And I hate it. I really, really hate it. But I'm job searching right now and it's going okay! I just have to be patient. I've also just joined a new choir and that makes me SO happy. It's such a refreshing atmosphere.
     So I have been thinking about a lot of stuff, but what I'm going to write about today, I actually just thought of, like, five minutes ago. My opinions and thoughts on this are super underdeveloped, so please don't judge me, I'm just thinking out loud over here.
     My best friend and I talk a lot about technology. It's amazing; the way we've progressed, the things we know now that we wouldn't have, the unbelievable connection between people all over the world, etc., etc. It's great and it opens up so many doors that wouldn't have been opened otherwise.
     Now, take a second and think of homeschooled kids. We all know a few and maybe you are a homeschooled kid yourself (Hi!). I really don't want to overgeneralize and offend and say that all homeschooled kids are "weird" because that's rude. I think there's definitely a ton of benefits that come from a homeschooled environment. You have an endless amount of class options, school only takes about three hours a day, you can wear your pyjamas 24 hours a day without judgement; overall, it sounds like a pretty sweet lifestyle! But we all know that if you are homeschooled, there is a disadvantage that is pretty common throughout the population: social skills. Many (not all) homeschooled children lack social skills. When faced with this fact, I think of all of the things I've learned throughout my thirteen years in school but not in class: wrong facts about sex at the age of eight, being exposed to the cruelty of some of my peers' parents, learning that it was cool to use bad language and all the rest of that fun stuff.  When I reflect on all of those things, I almost wish that I hadn't been exposed to so much social interaction. It made me really confused and I think it made me grow up a lot faster than I should have. But, it also made me the person I am today, and I think that having those experiences really shaped my worldview.
     So! Back to technology. This is the main reason why I wrote this post at all (sorry if it seems a little scattered). More than anything, I really wanted to ask what people think about this: Is it possible, in our day and age, for homeschooled children to become socially adept with such easy access to technology? There are SO many opportunities for communication and connection with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. Can these kids grow up being confined to their homes and still have the same kind of confusing, weird, uncomfortable experiences that I had in my public school days? I really hope so. I had never thought of this aspect of technology until today and I think it might end up being one of the most helpful. If these social media websites can bring these kids out of their shells, we might have a whole new, better, more free form of education to consider. Let me know what you think guys! Again, this is really underdeveloped, but I would absolutely love to hear your opinions and broaden my horizons.        Have a nice day!

P.S. I'll be starting a food blog soon! If you like yummy vegetarian eats, it might be right up your alley.