A Bloody Travesty.

     I wasn't going to write this post because, honestly, it's exhausting for me to constantly talk about things that I want to change. Worth it, definitely, but exhausting. And part of me feels like someone is going to read that and say, "Well, this is gonna be another episode of 'Angry Things Jenelle Says' so guess what I'm NOT reading right now" and that's cool. But I'm not angry about this - actually, it's more of a positivity thing, so stick around. I might just impress you with my ability to do positive things! +! (I'm tired and that's almost funny so I'm leaving it there.)

     I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that what I did today was an act against the patriarchy. *cue patriarchy-crushing, egotistical hair toss over shoulder motion*

     About an hour ago, after a long day of doing lots of different stuff and menstruating while doing so (which makes everything a thousand times more frustrating and exhausting), I had to go buy "feminine hygiene products" (cute name for it, hey?). So, here I am in the drug store trying to find the cheapest tampons possible and wondering if maybe I should buy liners as well. The first thing that went through my mind after I considered buying both was, "Man, that's going to make me look so gross." And after realizing that that, the way that I was going to look carrying two boxes instead of one, was more important to me than my own personal comfort while my body goes through its cycles actually made me stop and say out loud, "Ohhh wow that's dumb." So, I grabbed two boxes.
     This particular story is no indication of how all menstruating women feel when they have to buy "feminine hygiene products", so if you're completely comfortable with your body and its cycles and the way society views that, then THANK YOU. But if you're like me and you got sucked into this poisonous vortex of negative connotations having to do with one of the most natural things a person's body is CAPABLE OF, then this is a blog post for you. Personally (I know a lot of other peoples' negative experiences start before this), this fear of my own reproductive organs started when girls and boys were separated in sexual education in junior high. I didn't know what a wet dream was until I was probably sixteen years-old and I'm sure a lot of men who don't menstruate didn't know what a tampon looked like (save those commercials that make them look like dresses or skirts or whatever (WHY).....) either. A) What's the point of that besides trying to keep "mystery" that the opposite sex is supposed to have based on a constructed societal need for a heteronormative male to female romance? B) How is anyone supposed to feel comfortable with the opposite sex in an intimate situation when the fucking PURPOSE of their reproductive organs is not even clear?? I'm a grown ass woman and I was worried about not hiding my tampons and liners because of what people would think of me buying two boxes of a product that's created to hide my reproductive cycles. WHY are we hiding from people? I don't understand why it's necessary for us, in the 21st century, to keep doing this to ourselves. It makes me really upset that some people reading this are going to be uncomfortable and wonder why I would talk about this on the internet. Honestly, I'm sorry that society made you uncomfortable with this because it's not just you, it's me too. I had to convince myself that it was okay to buy products for the functions of my own body because I've been taught to be ashamed of how my own body works.
     Also, even the placement of these products in stores is silly. At the one I went to today, this stuff was on the second floor of a drug store tucked away in the very middle aisle. Rude. One of those little boxes by the cash register full of tampons instead of chocolate bars would be a fucking godsend.
     Mostly, my thing with this is that something like menstruation does not have to be a secret from anyone, especially yourself. If you're a non-menstruating man and you have questions about menstruation or anything, ask someone and don't be afraid to. Ask your girlfriend or mom or me, even, if you want. And if you're a menstruating woman, don't be a meanie, okay? Don't say stuff like, "Ugh, you don't even understand what it's like." Because you're obviously right, a lot of men don't know what it's like, so you don't have to say that. If you want to be understood instead of having people listen to dumb weird myths about menstrual blood and what it even is, be willing to answer questions about it. Being elitist with anything, especially something so damn natural and lovely is just hurting yourself and those around you. Let people know what's up with your cycle, girl.
     The moral of this story is to respect yourself and love what your body can do. Some day that weirdo menstrual stuff might give you a baby, and how cool would that be? Get comfortable with you and your body and be good to yourself and get TWO BOXES. You deserve two boxes. Goodnight.

Why I'm A Soon-To-Be University Dropout.

     Okay, here we go. At the moment, I'm sitting in a Second Cup. I came here because I find it impossible to do homework without people watching me. I'm not motivated to do things on my own, and I figure if I slack off and people are around and I imagine these people thinking, "Man, that girl is really not doing her homework like she's supposed to be doing...", it'll make me feel more inclined to actually do work. This peer pressure study scheme that I've created for myself has failed, friends. And it's not because all of these people around me aren't scary, it's because I hate school. I don't hate school completely, but at this point in my life, what I'm doing right now is not good for me and it's driving me up the wall.
     On New Years Eve, I decided that this was going to be my last semester. That made me really excited because I figured in this semester I would just try to have a lot of fun and not be stressed out, and that seems reasonable, right? Just taking classes that I like solely for the purpose of learning and nothing else. So, I loaded up my course schedule with English, Women's Studies, Philosophy, Classics, and History of Western Music. The first day of classes, I dropped the Western Music class because the textbook was $170 (!!!!%%&$*#&@&$#*). I didn't even go to the class one time. The next day, I dropped Philosophy because my professor was like, "You'll need to have a handle on basic high school algebra" and I was like, "Kay, see ya". A week later, I dropped my Classics course because my prof was the most boring speaker I've ever heard in my life. I know he's probably incredibly intelligent and a really cool guy, but it just didn't work for me. So here I am now - down to two classes, a part-time student. You think it'd be a walk in the park, right? For the most part, it is. I go to class (most of the time) and I take notes on the things I'm supposed to take notes on and I do my assignments the way my profs want me to do them, and a lot of the time I really do enjoy the content. I like listening to these people who have years of experience in their fields tell me about all of these really cool facts, and different ways to read, and think and all of that. It's really nice to see people who are passionate about what they do. I love professors. They're neat people. But on another level, it makes me that much more upset about the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing there. My whole "this semester is going to be fun because I'm not working towards anything la la la" attitude has turned into an existential "why am I wasting my youth on sitting and digesting the stuff this corporation of an institution wants me to learn, I'm just paying them to be miserable, basically" attitude. What I'm angry about, if you didn't catch on in that last sentence, is the institution - the school itself. I've mentioned this briefly before but I never really got into exactly what I don't like about it. Let me enlighten you and get super personal (is it possible to get more personal?? Why am I telling you everything???). I received a loan from the government of Alberta for $13,000 dollars to live and go to school over this past year. I did it because I thought I would love university, I thought I would stay, and I thought it would be worth it. I loved high school, and loving university is what I was supposed to do, right? Not included in this loan were textbook costs. Overall, I think I spent about $600 on textbooks. Dropping all of those classes really helped me out though. Getting back $200 from this place that I hate was like a dream come true. So anyways, my point is, here I am in this Second Cup, worried about even buying a cup of coffee because that's how "in the hole" I am financially, and this school that's given me mostly stress and bad feelings is taking my money without batting an eye. It doesn't seem fair to me and it makes me upset.
     Now, before you get all frustrated with me because I'm just doing a lot of bitching, I want to say something. Firstly, I am so lucky to live in a place in the world where I am able to go to school and get an education. The freedom for people to choose to do that is something that I really value. It's just not for me, personally. Secondly, if you like school, I am so happy for you. If you fit in there and you feel like you're getting a lot out of your classes and you are just in love with every building you go to class in and you want to set up a tent in the hallway you love it so much, I am so, so, so happy for you. That's what everyone should feel - like they're spending their time on something that truly means something to them. If you can afford to go to school - hell, if you can't afford to go to school - and you are legitimately happy being there, fucking stay. Stay and be smart and be you and just have fun. All I'm saying is that this doesn't work for me. And honestly, after I spewed all of that anti-capitalist hate garbage (lawl), I'm not even as bitter about it as I seem, believe it or not. I'm glad that I know now, you know? If I never went to school at all, I would have always wondered, "Hmmm, what would a 300-level Philosophy class be like?" Now, that I've been to school, I know that it's full of computer scientists who just love math and that's cool. But it's not for me, and because I tried it out, I know that.
     In summary, the school I've been going to doesn't work for me because I feel like I should be doing something better with my time if I'm not sure about this right now. So, I'm going to finish off this semester and try to get the most out of it that I possibly can, I'm going to work my ass off this summer, and then travel. The way I see it is I could stay in school and learn how I'm supposed to be living, or I could just actually go out and live.
     I hope that this post spoke to you if you're unhappy with the institution you're currently stuck in. Even if you are happy with the institution you are in (again, I'm so happy for you), maybe this will help you understand why a lot of the people who started school at the same time you did aren't there anymore. Every one is different and every one needs different things. If you're happy where you are, stay there. If you aren't, get the fuck out and try something else. The only thing holding you back is yourself and I've experienced that first-hand. Always exercise your talents and always do what feels best for you, not what feels best for your parents or friends who think you should be doing something else. If you want to rip me to pieces for this post and tell me I'm an ungrateful first-worlder, feel free because I probably am. I just want people to acknowledge their feelings about where they are in their lives and follow them. That is fucking cheesy of me to say. But it works! I've acknowledged that I hate school and I feel light as a feather. Give it a shot and ask yourself if you're happy. It'll pay off. Ew, a money pun.

Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



hi i did this for my women's studies class and now it belongs to the internet byyyyye

     Wow, hi guys! It's been so long since I wrote in this blog, y'all probably feel like you don't even know me anymore. Things can change drastically in a span of four months - but they didn't for me, so don't worry. I'm still a cynical Instagram addict with a love for kittens and fem power. School has kept me busy since September, but since I'm basically on Christmas break now, I am hopping back on the literary band wagon and I am ready to supply y'all with some quality blog posts (My philosophy professor turned me into a cowboy over the span of a semester - sorry...y'all). I decided I'd start my blog relapse with an assignment I did in my Women's Studies class. I'm not going to say anything more than that, but I would love some feedback! Not that I can change it now that I already handed it in...hmmm...whatever! I'd still like to know what the internet thinks. Holla at your girl. Peace. 

Cinderella and the 21^st Century: A Potential Love Story

     When I first began thinking about this project, I knew two things: 1. I wanted to transform my artifact in a positive way and not completely destroy the current artifact, and 2. I knew that I wanted to pick an artifact that displayed the most stereotypical aspects of femininity to young children, predominately girls.  Of course, the obvious choice is Barbie. She is widely circulated, probably the most well-known “girl’s toy” out there, and is very obviously unrealistic, physically. Barbie tells stories to young girls about femininity, but I wanted an actual story; an account of female passivity, oppression, and powerlessness. So, for my cultural artifact, I’ve selected Disney’s Cinderella as both a physical and cultural misrepresentation of women. Cinderella “[is] portrayed as helpless…she is the quintessential ‘perfect girl’, always gentle, kind, and lovely” and she is forced to interact with “evil women” on a daily basis (Henke, Umble, Smith, 2004: 406-410). As a young girl, I never batted an eye at Cinderella’s over exaggerated beauty, inability to speak for herself, or normativity, and this is exactly what I want to address. The story of Cinderella has been accepted for decades as an appropriate story for children to be told. But the ideas that this story suggests about gender, femininity, relationships between women, and the importance of beauty are all things that are undoubtedly harmful to the intellectual growth of children. In my project, I wanted to portray an antithesis to the old Cinderella, creating an image that might represent a more humanitarian form of story-telling and a more realistic representation of women and female empowerment.

There are multiple examples of negative representations of gender embedded in the story of Cinderella. The story begins with, not even Cinderella herself, but her father. She is described as his lovely daughter and then her beauty is described in further detail. Right off the bat, there is a sense that Cinderella is not her own person; that she is controlled by others. This is reiterated when Cinderella’s person is immediately handed over to her evil stepmother and step sisters as a result of her father’s death. They are incredibly cruel to her because they are jealous of her beauty. This relationship makes jealousy and competition between women seem normal.  The fact that this is the only contact that Cinderella is having with other women is unbelievably harmful, especially when shown to young girls. If these are the stories that are being told to young girls about their mothers, sisters, and friends, jealousy and competition will seem acceptable and expected. As the story goes on, the prince is introduced. The language that is used to describe his situation is loaded with gender bias. The time has come for him to pick his bride, says the story. This language sends very clear ideological and patriarchal messages to the reader about who is in charge in this story, choosing to make masculine power seem more important and more pervasive than Cinderella’s choice. The prince holds a ball in order to scout out a woman. Cinderella, being poor and lowly, goes through the trials of trying to find something acceptable to wear. Eventually, after much struggle, she gives up and runs to the garden where she meets her fairy godmother. The instances that follow this meeting are the most troublesome. The fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella. She makes her look beautiful in preparation for the ball, and because of this, Cinderella ends up marrying the prince. Now, embedded within these instances lie three main ideas that are what made me decide to transform her. Firstly, the fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella, but in the context of this story, being kind is synonymous with sharing beauty secrets. The fairy godmother does not offer Cinderella friendship, love or compassion – she offers her beauty. Even though this interaction is an example of a positive relationship between women, it is based on a shallow and harmful foundation. Secondly, the story suggests that the only reason Cinderella has the “privilege” of being chosen by the prince is her beauty. Only after she has been transformed into something she hadn’t been previously is she noticed by the prince. Thirdly, Cinderella becomes empowered and happy after she is beautiful and MARRIED. The under-lying and most obviously flawed idea in this story is that this story is not about Cinderella at all – not her interests, her beliefs, her actions or achievements - it is about what is done to her, negatively and positively. She is an object that is lived around; she is not living. Her decisions are made for her by others and she is not an active participant in her own life. This is what needs to change.

My transformation does not include a rewritten story, but instead, an image with stories embedded. I’ve created four new Cinderellas who each represent and shift different aspects of the story. The way I set up my image is important to the story. The two main symbolic elements lie in the uncolored faces of the Cinderellas and in the words behind their bodies. Cinderella, in the Disney version, is very obviously Caucasian – blond hair, blue eyes, etc. In my variations, Cinderella is without race, making her relatable to everyone. The blank face serves a dual purpose in providing a “blank slate”, suggesting that these Cinderellas are new and they are able and willing to grow and learn. Secondly, the words behind the women in my image are the original story of Cinderella. I placed them behind the women to suggest that these new Cinderellas have overcome the previous story; it is literally behind them. The four Cinderellas that I’ve chosen all carry a slightly different message. The first is an openly feminist Cinderella. Throughout my childhood in books, movies, social situations, etc. feminism had always been tiptoed around and never openly addressed until I was in high school. Imagine a Disney princess speaking about and rooting for sisterhood and equality for all races, genders, and classes instead of not saying anything at all and just accepting things the way they are. Having an openly feminist role model for young children could drastically change the way that they grow up. The second image I’ve used includes Cinderella embracing another woman. Two big issues in Cinderella are negative female relationships and heteronormativity. Cinderella needs to be shown interacting with friends who are not animals, but real people. A positive mother figure or a sister willing to listen to her would’ve drastically changed the dynamic of the story. Also, in terms of romantic relationships, representing homosexuality in children’s fiction is something that’s rarely done, sadly. There should definitely be more positive representations of differing sexual preference. Another option in this case though, would be to completely eliminate romantic relationships from this kind of story altogether. Children are children and they are familiar with friendship, not romance. Focusing on positive friendships within Cinderella would leave children with more relevant messages that could be applied to their daily lives. The third image is Cinderella reading a book. This example is fairly straightforward. Children are impressionable, and when children see people reading, it makes them more likely to read. Cinderella’s intelligence is never discussed in the current version of the story and perhaps changing that could change the way children feel about reading and studying. The fourth image is a tattooed Cinderella. Cinderella’s image in the current story is unrealistic. There’s no doubt that some women look that way, but beauty is not just one type of woman or man. Breaking down beauty ideals is something that needs to be done fast. Or, better yet, eliminating the talk of being beautiful from Cinderella and other fairy tales altogether and focusing instead on intelligence, hobbies, relationships with others and other things that have to do with who a person is, not what they look like.

Overall, my main proposition is to acknowledge the fact that we, as a human race, are at a point in history where one Cinderella is not going to satisfy the needs of a generation. Focusing on one kind of role model leaves out many young people simply because this singular role model is not accessible to every single child. Creating a wider spectrum in terms of what we are showing young people will make them feel better – like they have someone they can really relate to. Cinderella has the capacity and ability to create an open environment and a positive example for young people in terms of relationships, happiness, and difference. Acknowledging that this current version of Cinderella is past her prime will allow for changes in cultural stories and a positive shift towards acceptance and enlightenment.

Works Cited

Jill Birnie Henke, Dianne Zimmerman Umble, and Nancy J Smith “Constructions of the Female Self: Feminist Readings of the Disney Heroine (excerpt)” from Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions edited by Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee (2004) pp. 406-410

#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

The World, Man.

     Hello! Man, I miss this blog. I've decided that I'm actually going to start forcing myself to write at least once a week a) because I feel like I'm a large asshole for being so lazy about something that I really care about, and b) it'll just make me a better writer in the long run, so I think that's important for my career and life and all that jazz. I'm also going to start posting all of my blog spurts on Facebook so they're more easily accessible and the poor users of the internet don't have to sleaze around looking for my posts, because I feel like that's too much work for something with such minimal progress. Evan reads this blog, though, so, you rule, Evan. Keep being you.
    For those of you who don't know me very well/aren't close to me personally/have better things to do than know where I am, I'm in Pennsylvania, USA. I'm here for two weeks with my family and it's been fresh. My family is neat and I like that I get to spend so much time with them. So, my family has been really nice. America, on the other hand, I'm not too sure about. I'm going to try to write this in the least offensive sense I can possibly muster from inside my brain because I'm not trying to be offensive, this is just an observation of a Canadian visitor.
     Now, I've been to the USA before and I've done my thing. But this time has been different. In my other American experiences, I've been with Canadians. I've been with a shit ton of Canadian teenagers who didn't give a fuck and just kept on being Canadian and didn't talk to any Americans to a large extent and it was totally fine. We saw the sights and we danced the dance and it was all fine and good. Such is not the case on this trip. I've had long, extended conversations with at least seven Republicans and it was really hard, guys. I guess my issue here is not with America (it's kind of with America - I'll talk about that later on), but with this mindset that the people I spoke to have. There are two things that they stressed more than anything during our conversations: God and war. I won't be discussing God because freedom of religion, amirite? During this trip, I read "1984" by George Orwell and there literally could not have been a more relevant book to read. There were a few times when I actually had to get up and leave a conversation because I couldn't stand to be around people that talked this way. It legitimately scared me to hear it. First off, let me give you some background: every single person I had talked to had served in the military. Coming from Canada, this is not something you regularly hear about. In fact, I only know, personally, one person from Canada who served in the military. These were seven different people who ALL happened to serve. All of these men were Republicans who saw the military as their responsibility. They believed that it was up to them to "kill for their freedom". That's a real live quote. You hear about this stuff in movies and books and junk, but actually meeting a person, MULTIPLE PEOPLE, who believed that this (freedom) is still an issue blew my mind. I understand defense to a degree, and I know that America might be in danger, but freedom is really not a thing anymore. We're as free as we're going to be over here, you know? And if anything is holding Americans back from more freedom, it's only their regressive attitude in terms of where their country is at politically. I just don't understand this want for invasion. One man told me a story of his son who had been driving in a convoy of military vehicles. The first vehicle was suddenly struck by a suicide bomber in a car. The men were fine. They found out later that the vehicle behind them had caught the whole thing on tape. In the corner of the screen as they were watching back, they saw that an innocent civilian on a bike had been blown to pieces. His son laughed as he was telling the story, like it was a joke. I'm not trying to make these people sound evil, nor am I making any excuse for them by writing this part, I'm just stating a fact. I talked to my family members that I'm travelling with about the attitude that these people have, and they told me to let it go. "Oh yeah, you know, women are still paid 30 cents less an hour than men and a rape occurs every nine minutes in India, but whatever, I think I'll just let that go." No. It made me sick. Like, the whole of the human race and it's health and future didn't, in fact, depend on America getting it's giant ass military nose out of places it doesn't belong. This mindset is creating monsters, you know? We're feeding the war machine. There is no doubt in my mind that these men were brainwashed into thinking this kind of behavior was normal for Americans; American soldiers, especially. Like this is how Americans are supposed to act. I was told (I didn't know this and I feel like this is something that people should learn in their Social Studies classes) that soldiers on the front line will never in their lives know how many people they have killed while on duty. A lot of meat-eaters are okay with eating meat as long as it's in the form of a hamburger with cheese and they don't have to go out with a bow and arrow, murdering their prey themselves. Ignorance is bliss, right? Of course being in the military is okay, as long as it's like a video game. As long as you can shoot for hours and hours and never know the damage you've done. I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful, I'm actually just genuinely worried about what kind of people this process is creating. How can a person come back from this? Can they?
     When I was younger and told that America and Canada were allied, I thought that was really nice. In my child-like brain I thought, "Man, it is so cool of the USA to let Canada be friends with them. They are so important." On a drive home from a relative's house, I was trying to think of an analogy for the way I feel about the relationship between America and Canada now (in strict terms of government actions and political policies - I'm definitely not referring to the people of America as a whole), and I figured it out. Canada and America are sisters. They've grown up beside each other, sharing ideas and borrowing clothes and food and money from each other. America is the younger sister and sometimes she can be grumpy. She gets jealous of Canada, and Asia, and Africa because they have things that she doesn't have, like diamonds and silk, etc. America then throws a tantrum. At first, Canada tries to help and calm her down. Canada tries to negotiate a deal with America so that she'll stop freaking out, but it doesn't work. After a while, and after many episodes, Canada has finally given up and she just lets America do what she needs to do, even if that means taking every single thing she can from Asia and Africa and all the other girls in the world. Of course, Canada still loves America and is there for her when she needs help, but Canada has learned to just look on with a knowing smirk.
     I know that there are many parts of America that are abundant with people who have different ideas and knowledge. Some of the most amazing inventions and theories have come out of America. I would love to see as much of the USA as I possibly can before I die. This blog post wasn't written to force everyone in America into a box. This post was written to make people take a step back and think about this shit. Does America need a military? Why do they need a military? Did they, in fact, bring all of this turmoil upon themselves? Does Canada need a military? Why are we still fighting? Why aren't people questioning the government and each other?
     This is the stuff that runs through my mind. These are all merely thoughts and things that I've come across during my experience here. Again, offending any American people is the last thing I'm trying to do. This isn't aimed at people, this is aimed at policy. All I'm trying to do is create a thought process about these issues because I think they're important. You can disagree with me, agree with me, be furious at me - whatever. Just think about it and comment if you want! Thanks for the read.
   

After This, We'll Be Best Friends.

     Hi, guys. I'm having a terrible time right now. Wanna hear about it? Cool. I hope you understand that what I write in this blog isn't even stuff that I actually say out loud, which may actually be really negative for my soul, but bear with me for now, okay? I'll get to the point where I can actually be as rude/boisterous/emotionally stimulating/courageous as I am on here in real life in my own time. Honestly, I'm kind of writing this post to get some sort of feedback on what I should do here.
     First of all, I'm having an awful time being inspired to do anything that I care about. I used to do so many good things, you know? I fucking painted all the time, wrote songs, rode my bike, read books, did origami, had arguments, etc. and now I don't do any of that, and I'm really trying to figure out why. I don't even read BOOKS anymore, guys. I used to read all the damn time and now I don't even want to. Well, maybe that isn't true, but I haven't found anything to be interesting enough to read in a long time. My main theory right now is that I'm kind of just waiting to start school and that, once I start school, I'll kind of get back into my groove, you know? But I'm just not sure, and it's the "not knowing" thing that terrifies me. Because I really liked who I used to be and I don't entirely like the person I'm turning into now, and I really want to change that, but I'm not motivated and it is TOTALLY KILLING ALL OF MY VIBES. So that's my first issue with myself - take it or leave it.
     My second thing is that I think I'm too angry. I was thinking about it today, and I realized that if I had to pick a personality type to describe myself, I would probably pick "passive aggressive". And I truly don't believe that's a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should take a break for a few minutes and just appreciate something - like, appreciate anything, really. I went to a rad concert last night and while I was watching it, crying my fucking face off, I was all, "Jenelle, this is why you're alive. You have to remember how this feels and transfer it to other parts of your life. You have to make things better. You have to appreciate other things." And that made me feel good! Because I was addressing the situation and I had a lot of hope, you know? I still kind of feel that today, but I don't feel the same spark, and I don't know how to get it back.
     I just "Stumbled" onto a page combatting teen pregnancy and got really mad and thought, "Well, what if those teens want to be pregnant? Fuckhead internet." And then I realized that was totally irrational and maybe I need to evaluate my life a little bit. I know that being an agitator is a positive thing in a lot of ways (in most ways), but sometimes I wonder if I'm too focused on being mad and maybe not focused enough on being happy? This is my dilemma.
     I don't want you to click away from this post thinking, "Man - Jenelle is really down on herself! She's not the confident, bad-ass bitch I thought I knew." Don't think that at all. I still think I'm fucking rad, I'm just kind of in a pickle right now and I'm trying to figure out how to solve it, and some friendly advice from people who care enough to read my blog would be refreshing. This probably should have just been a diary thing, but I don't like diaries and I really don't have one, so I'm giving my heart and soul to the internet in hopes of an answer. Without religion, the internet is all us atheists have, amirite? That was probably inappropriate. I'm going to stoop back into my late-night loneliness and let you cool cats get some sleep. Thanks for reading my internal frustrations that I spewed out onto the beginnings of my writing career. Hit me up with some answers, stand-in Jesus. Goodnight.

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

To Wed Or Not To Wed...

     Hey kids! I hope all is well. I've been really bad at remembering to write my blog lately. I'm in a weird point in my life where I'm kind of just drifting through, waiting for school to start. Working is not for me, guys. I feel like that really messes up what I'm supposed to do with my future. Whatever, I'll just go to school until I'm ninety-nine and then die with mass amounts of debt. Realistic.
     I want to talk about why I am completely neutral to the notion of marriage.
     For a long time, I disagreed with marriage hard. I figured that anything created, at the start, to rule women and make them the property of men had to be fucked. I thought, "Hey! That kind of stuff shouldn't be happening at all." And I'm right, and I still feel that way, but I recently read this article and it kind of changed my mind about a few things. Now, before I begin, I want to repeat what I said earlier: I'm completely indifferent when it comes to marriage, even though I'm definitely arguing for marriage in this post. The article I read was focused a lot on gay marriage, but it applies to all people, I think. The basic idea of the article was to say that gay people aren't ruining marriage, ALL people are ruining marriage, but also that it needs to be ruined. Marriage began as a business, basically. It was all about property, rules, materials, etc. It has evolved a lot over time according to the beliefs of people in certain areas of the world. For example, even in our current times, marriage as we know it here is drastically different than marriage in China or marriage in Egypt, even. The article I read was basically saying that if we look at the origin of marriage and how far we've come from that, we have, technically speaking, "ruined" marriage. People blaming homosexuals for ruining marriage are right, in a sense. But it's not only homosexuals who have ruined marriage. Polygamists, people who participate in hand-fasting ceremonies, people who have weddings that include elements of both, for example, Christianity and Islam due to the people being wed having different backgrounds, etc. have also "ruined""marriage" (Quotations, gosh). We're at the point in history where marriage can literally be whatever the hell anyone wants it to be and that IS SO AWESOME. We've ruined marriage, yeah, and it's the best thing we could have done. Marriage began as a patriarchal, judgemental load of shit and now it can be anything. So when people say they disagree with marriage, I respect that, sure. But I do wonder if maybe people disagree with the origins of marriage and that's why they're so unwilling to give it a shot today? Women can propose, women can marry women, people can get married UNDERWATER IN SCUBA SUITS, okay? There are so many options now. I feel like the definition of "marriage" in our time is literally people declaring that they love each other. That's it. Marriage doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be! The possibilities are endless! And that's why I don't give a fuck anymore. Sure, when marriage was an under-the-table handshake between a son and a father and a woman was tossed into uncertainty with a dowry in tow, that was nasty. Now it's anything, you know? So, who am I to say, "Hey! That man can't marry that woman! That woman can't marry that woman! Those two people can't marry their dogs to each other!", you know? It's not my business. People are gonna get married until the end of time, because people like to fall in love, and I think that's rad.
     Anyways, that's kind of all I have to say about that right now. I just think that it's really nice when people love each other and they should be able to do whatever they want about that love, you know? Let it run wild, or whatever.
     Coincidentally, as I'm writing this, my sister is eating a plate of ribs. She just looked over at me and said, "If ribs could talk, I would marry them." Have a nice day! Get married or don't!