The last time I tried to write about feminism, I got verbally abused (without any hint of constructive criticism) by a person who knew a lot more than I did about it, and that's okay. I was kind of hurt by it at the time, but then I realized that person is just a troll. To you, my dear instigator of frustration, I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize that there's people out there who know more than I do and I need to read more. Thank you for being so utterly condescending towards someone who is trying to learn (sarcasm). Also, thank you for making me realize that I don't really care about being "third wave". I think it's fantastic that some people are confident enough to call themselves that, but I don't think it's very important to me personally. All I care about is people realizing that feminism is an issue that needs to be addressed and the importance of equality among men and women. And lastly, thank you for making me feel better about your comment by making me realize that you've got a lot of work to do too. A true feminist wouldn't diss another feminist's point of view simply because it isn't necessarily the same kind of feminism. Arguing is cool. If you want to argue with me, I invite you! But don't just put me down and not offer up any kind of advice. Frankly, I think that's a little rude simply on a person to person basis.
Phew.
That's been building up inside of me for a long time.
Anyways, I just have a few things to rant about and stuff, so stick around if you've got the time.
1. Stop thinking you're ugly. I don't care who you are, where you live, what sexual orientation you are, what colour your hair is, or how many fingers you have on your right hand.
You are not ugly.
Saying you're ugly is giving in. It's giving in to every single person that's every put themselves above you on any level, it's giving in to society, it's giving in to Victoria's Secret, it's giving in to Covergirl, it's giving in to Playboy. Don't give in. I guarantee that someone you know thinks you're beautiful. Or at least someone on Instagram thinks you're beautiful. Definitely your mom thinks you're beautiful. And if they don't...
2. Stop giving a shit about what other people think. I know that you've been hearing different variations of that phrase since you were five years-old, but I'm serious. Why should you care? No one is better than you. No one should be able to make you feel inferior. Everyone is equal. If you spend all of your time caring about what other people think you won't ever be satisfied. BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM BRO. Sure, you can ask. Sure, you can guess. But people lie and assuming is stupid. The only person you can ever truly trust is yourself. So start caring about what YOU think, dude.
3. Focus on loving people and the relationships you have. "Ugh, this girl is a hippy." said the judgemental blog reader. When I speak to girls, a lot of the time I hear, "Oh, I wish I had hair like hers", "I hate that girl; her legs are so long", and "Look at that girl's make up, it's so nice. What a bitch." Stop it. For fuck sakes, just give it up. Maybe instead of being envious, you could go up to that pretty lady and say, "Gurrrl, you got some sick legs. Show those babies off! Good for you!", you know? Stop hating people because they have stuff that you want. You have great stuff too! Just be happy with your own stuff and be happy for other people with their stuff. CALM DOWN. Do you know how many more friends you would have if you complimented a fellow girl every time you liked something about her? You would have a lot more friends, in case you didn't get where I was going there. Also, if you stop focusing on being so jealous and down on yourself, your significant other is going to like you a whole lot more. Yep, I went there. Just think about it; how much would you hate it if the person you loved more than anyone else in the world spent all of his/her time hating himself/herself? Especially if this prevented him/her from seeing how much you love him/her? Be confident, guys! Love your bodies and love your souls. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be unbelievably sexy and incredibly kind, he/she just needs to believe it.
I don't mean to be rude or preachy with this post, I just want everyone to love themselves.
If you have any questions or comments, I would really, really like some feedback. Comment below or email me: jenelledufva@gmail.com
Do something fun tonight! Thanks for reading.
Somebody that I like on the internet once said every time you tell your ugly friend that she's pretty you tell her that it's important to be. What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI get that, Avery. I think Jenelle is approaching it from a position that assumes that "pretty" is subjective enough to mean anything to anyone (which is good, I think), but there's also the reality that there is a very specific societal idea of what's "pretty", in light of which I agree with you. Tough one.
DeleteI don't think it's wrong to be kind. I understand where this person is coming from for sure. I definitely don't approve of lying to someone that you find unattractive; that's just rude. Almost every girl cares about being pretty. But most girls also know (I hope) that it isn't the most important thing. And I don't think giving someone a compliment once in a while is going to make them feel that way, you know?
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of the problem is just trying to separate pretty from perfection. Pretty can be so many different things, but it's hard to see it when there's an ideal.
I don't know if this even relates enough to your question for it to be classified as a response. I really like that point of view though. I want to think about it more. I'll get back to you.