ELLE WOODS IS SO BOSS

     You know when people tell you sitting on the couch and watching movies is a waste of time? They're absolutely 100% wrong because you can learn EVERYTHING from movies (slightly untrue, but I'm going with it). I first watched Legally Blonde when I was probably ten years-old and of course at the time I was like, ten, and obviously not super aware of what was going on, but I remember liking Elle because she was smart and wore nice clothes. If you haven't seen/read Legally Blonde, for god sakes this is 2014 (I'm not actually mad but you should go watch it), do yourself a favour and open yourself up to POP CULTURE. I just finished watching it and I am so hyped because Elle Woods is a perfect role model and AH I am just so stoked!
     So for all my movie h8ers (I'm just bugging you) in the crowd, here's why this movie is perfect and why I'm, like, convulsing in excitement right now. Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, is the protagonist and she looks like this:

     Stunning. Now, normally I wouldn't talk about a protagonist's looks but the whole movie is basically about judgy people being super judgy assholes, so I just thought I'd give you that visual for context. Here's a quick summary of the story, then I'll elaborate. Elle is from LA and she's a stereotypical, rich valley girl with amazing manners and gorgeous hair. She falls in love with Warner, who then goes to Harvard and breaks up with Elle. Elle applies to Harvard Law (wow) and goes to get Warner back. After learning that Warner has a new not-so-nice fiancé at Harvard, Elle is crushed, gets her nails done, makes friends with her manicurist, and then continues to fight for Warner. After learning that Warner thinks she's stupid, Elle is determined to kick ass and she does. She gets an internship under one of her professors and works really, really hard. After this professor makes a pass at Elle (gross), she second guesses herself and almost gives up. But she comes back, gets this professor fired, takes his position and continues to, once again, kick ass. Now, let me begin.

     Elle was in a sorority in LA. She references it often and you can tell that it's something she really cares about. Throughout the movie, it's apparent that her passion for sisterhood extends past the walls of the sorority house. To begin with, she makes friends with her manicurist, Paulette Bonafonte, almost immediately (they bond over getting their hearts broken, but a) who doesn't? and b) Hollywood can't give us everything we want yet). She helps Paulette to take control of her sexuality and what she wants by teaching her the infamous "bend and snap". Elle and Paulette become really close and Elle is always there for her. Another example of Elle's commitment to her sisters happens with her client. Belonging to the same sorority as Elle, the client told Elle her alibi but made her promise not to tell anyone else. Even though the case could've been easily solved with the alibi, Elle kept her promise and solved the case without it, proving that she's an awesome person and also a really good lawyer. The final example of Elle being amazing comes from her interactions with Warner's new fiancé. At first, Elle is curt and unpleasant because of the classic patriarchal competition between women over men (gag) but as time progresses and Elle begins to focus more on her work, their differences kind of disappear and they become friends. Overall, Elle is just being a really fucking nice person to almost everyone she comes into contact with. She creates bonds really fast and stays true to what she says, and I think that is so admirable. 

     Elle also doesn't take any shit whatsoever and I think that is sooooo underrated. We grow up being taught to be nice to everyone and have manners, and Elle portrays that really well, as I've just discussed. She's nice to everyone except for people who fuck her over, and that's something that a lot of people, including myself are missing in their lives. Of course it's important to be kind to people, but it's equally as important to stand up for yourself when people take advantage of/walk all over you. After Warner tells Elle that she "isn't smart enough", she proves him wrong. And when he tries to get her back, she calls him a "bonehead" and moves on. THANK YOU ELLE WOODS for responding to an awful comment with productivity and self-respect. There is nothing better than that. Elle takes it to the next level when she gets her boss fired. All she had to do was tell her friends what he did to her, they supported her and helped her, and she ended up taking his place. She thought about running away but she didn't and that is so powerful. If Legally Blonde teaches you nothing else, please just take from it that it is possible to handle shitty people in a mature and responsible way (i.e. "bonehead) and move on with your life instead of carrying on anger that could have been dealt with immediately.

     At the end of the movie, Elle gives a speech. In it she says two things that really stuck out to me: "Remember that first impressions are not always correct" and "YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF".  This first impressions business could literally translate to any person you meet in the whole world. DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. It is so ignorant and ridiculous to think that you know a person without even trying to see who they really are. We're all guilty of doing this at some point, I'm sure, but it is so BAD. And finally, having faith in yourself is the single best thing a person can do. Being nice, having friends, loving others, respecting others; those are all important things, but doing what you need to do to be happy is number one, always. That's what I believe anyways. It is okay to be confident, to love yourself, and to respect yourself. There is nothing wrong with that and anyone who tries to make you feel differently deserves to be called a bonehead, big time.

     Elle Woods is everything that I want my future daughter to see. Yes, she exemplifies completely every one of those stupid white girl stereotypes that are so famously talked about on the internet right now, but christ, that whole "white girls like pumpkin spice lattes and UGGs" thing is so racist. It's important to acknowledge that Elle is obviously privileged but she faces a lot of struggles and sees them through, female jealousy and sexual assault included, and things like these most likely stem from being a woman, not from being white. Stereotypes aside (as they should be - always), I think Elle is a perfect role model. She knows that she loves reading Cosmopolitan and getting her nails done and she knows just because she wants to be taken seriously as a lawyer doesn't mean she has to sacrifice any part of herself. She knows and understands completely that men are not entitled to her body, but she also isn't scared to express her sexuality in ways that she feels comfortable doing. She respects people always, no matter how different they are from her. She knows herself and knows what she wants and it is so damn INSPIRING. 

     All I have left to say is just go watch this movie so maybe all of my rambles will make sense. ELLE 4 PREZ. Goodnight.

WHAT AM I DOING

     Hellooooo world! This blog is getting a little dusty, so I thought I'd clean the thing off and start over fresh. I sincerely hope that everyone is doing well. I can't believe how much I miss writing this thing. I just read over a few of my past entries and realized that I have a sense of humour (????) and I think it's been missing in my other writing, so I'm gonna try to get it back. In case you're wondering what I mean by other writing (I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats), I've been writing a weekly article for an online newspaper that was started in my hometown! My article is supposed to be focused on issues that affect people my age. It's such a great opportunity and I'm so grateful to my lovely friend who passed this article on to me (<3). Here's a thing, though. I have SO MUCH to say in this article. I could write about so many THINGS, but only theoretically. Realistically, I'm terrified of writing anything because I feel like it won't reach the audience I'm writing for. This blog is easy. I pick something that's pissing me off, I write a huge fucking paragraph on it (for some reason I don't believe in formatting) and then my friends read it and they can relate to it. I'm writing for people my age on here, so everything I'm saying is going to make sense. I don't know how to write my ideas to an audience that doesn't come from the same generation as me. Here are some things that I'm worried about: A) offending people. A lot of the things I have to say have to do with the generational gap between people my age and people older than myself, but how the hell do you just be like, "Oh hey, by the way I disagree with mostly everything your generation believes aaaand here's how to be better, peace." I can't do that at all, because it's terrible. I guess part of writing this article is learning how to get better at communicating my ideas to people who aren't like me  (underlined passage is, like, the meaning of life) but I'm just having a hard time right now with this so that's why I'm complaining. B) I'm having a hard time feeling like myself in my writing and feeling like I can be honest about what I think. For example, I want to write about how uncomfortable I feel in my work place sometimes because of the amount of not so appropriate remarks/looks my co-workers and I receive from older men. Normally, I would rage hard about this on my blog, fairly confident that none of these guys would ever find it. I can't do that in the paper because they all read it. It's probably a good thing that they'd see it, but stirring up shit in my work place is not something I need in my life even though my heart KNOWS IT HAS TO BE DONE. Please comment and tell me if this is okay, but I'm thinking of using the whole "I have a friend who's uncomfortable at work because..." approach? I don't know if that's wrong or if it's just me being strategic? Some advice would be helpful. Also, I'm worried about scaring people in this town, guys. I need to write about patriarchy in this article, but a few weeks ago I wrote about piercings and tattoos and that scared people! This is small town Alberta and I have the worst writer's block I think I've ever had! I think I'm having a hard time figuring out the difference between being a professional and changing who I am to make other people happy. I don't think I should have to change anything at all, but I just really don't want to lose this opportunity by saying the wrong thing. (Even though I probably don't,) I feel like I have a lot of pull in my community with this and I want to be the best I can be for the people reading what I have to say. This is one of those things that I really need some advice on. If you guys can comment and say whether or not you think I'm crazy for worrying or if you have any ideas for stuff I should be writing on, that would be so so so appreciated. I plan on writing some pretty meaty things in here in the near future, so stay tuned. Ciao!

Whatever: A Short Analysis Of The Selfie.

     Warning: I use "they" to describe specific individuals because it's gender inclusive. If you're really serious about traditional grammar, brace yourself. 

     The time has come to talk about it: the dreaded selfie! If you've never seen a selfie before (a.k.a you've been living under a rock void of any internet usage) here are some examples: 

Me being Justin Timberlake.

Justin Timberlake being a better Justin Timberlake than me. #notbitter

Meryl Streep and Hilary Clinton being undeniably cool.

Rihanna lookin' fabulous.

James Franco being patriotic (and so cute hehehe).

Miley bein' Miley.

     So, there you have it. A whole bunch of celebrities and me and the infamous selfie. In our society today, the selfie is pretty normal. Most people in most places are taking selfies most of the time and for some reason, people have a lot to say about it. There are a few different points of view I've heard people take on this pressing issue and I'd like to talk about that, and then I'd like to talk about how I feel about selfies. So here we go:

1. People believe that many people take selfies to A) make themselves look better than they actually do in real life by using editing software, and B) get confirmation from other people that they're good looking. To all of you who feel this way, that's neat. It's cool that you have an opinion on selfies, I guess. If you don't like them, that's okay. The thing that I don't like about this point of view is that it inherently has a shitload of judgement embedded in it a lot of the time. Let's start with Part A): peeps have a problem with filters. Okay cool, but tell me, please: what's the difference between a person putting a filter on a picture and a person putting make up on their face? Both alter the appearance and both are put there because the person in charge of the subject (a.k.a THEMSELVES) wants it there. To this, the person holding this point of view may say something along the lines of "Yeah, and isn't it terrible that people think they look better that way?" And my answer to you is no. Because who are you to judge what a person does to THEIR OWN PERSON. They are an independent human being with thoughts and feelings and they probably put a lot of effort into this photo. Filters on photos and make up on faces are both artistic outlets. Sure, you can say that they're superficial and you would never do such a thing yourself, and that's okay FOR YOU but people should be allowed to do whatever they want with themselves without your judgement. So save your "Awe, this poor girl is so insecure she feels the need to post a photo of herself with all of this make up and all of these filters just to feel like she's pretty boo hoo hoo" for your own brain and your own Instagram account and your own face. People should be free to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable and it's okay to say you don't like that for YOU and you only, not for them. Part B): the confirmation issue. I've heard this said more than is acceptable. "The only reason people take selfies is for confirmation from people that they're attractive." And you know, a lot of people probably do take selfies for that reason. Maybe they only get "likes" on photos and no compliments in real life interactions and these "likes" make up for their lack of attention from people. I don't know that for sure, but I know why I take selfies and I'll share that with you. I take selfies because I think it's entertaining. I take selfies because I like to write stupid captions underneath my photos on Instagram. I take selfies on days when I feel like I look really nice and maybe I want other people to see how cool my eyebrows look. I take selfies because I get bored when I'm alone all the time. But mostly, I take selfies for memories and I think that's something that really gets me about people hating on selfies all the time. My opponents reading this are probably like, "What? You like to remember how your own face looked on a certain day?" And my answer to you is yes, opponent. Sometimes my lipstick looks nice and I want to remember that. Me taking a photo of my face is not a political statement (it can be though - I'll get to that later), it's a simple photo that I wanted to put on the internet for that reason, and for that reason alone - because I wanted to. And that should be okay because it isn't up to anyone else to decide what I put on the internet. It's my decision. I think that the "daily selfie" could be a really beautiful thing if people would just give it a chance. Having an image that represents a day that you had could be the only physical "souvenir", if you will, from that day, and I think that's pretty cool. So, what I'm saying with this particular point of view is that yeah, a lot of people take selfies to feel better about themselves, to show everyone their cool outfit that day, to make memories with their friends, and that's fine. If you don't wanna selfie, you don't gotta selfie. But don't judge people that do because it's just a fucking PHOTO and it's not your life.  

     Also, as I kind of mentioned already, selfies can function as more than photos. On January 23rd, 2014 the Instagram community started a hashtag movement: "#fuckyouputin". Basically, the idea is to post a selfie on Instagram with a middle finger raised showing Vladimir Putin that a lot of people in the world don't agree with the way he's been treating citizens of Russia. If you're able to go on Instagram, search that hashtag. I don't want to say thousands because I'm not sure, but definitely hundreds of people uploaded photos with their middle fingers raised and it's pretty powerful. There was also a picture of a t-shirt that said "Putin, you can't sit with us", which I thought was really funny, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is, yeah, selfies can be annoying and they probably make up a lot of what's on your news feed every day, but they can also do cool things. I'm not saying you should go take a selfie because it'll change the world or anything like that, I just think it's interesting. 

     I promised my opinion on selfies earlier, so here it is: I like them. I like taking them and I like looking at them. They can be super funny but also artistic, and I like that. But mostly, I like them because they're photos and photos last forever. They capture a moment, even if it is just you doin' the Miley tongue in your bathroom mirror. Seeing that photo forty years later might make you really happy, you never know. I think selfies are cool if you like taking them, and it's also okay if you don't because whatever, you know? I feel like a lot of people are going to read this and be like, "Wow Jenelle, this is a pretty trivial thing to write about." I'm pretty good at predicting arguments before they come at me, huh? Do you see a trend here? I come prepared for war. Anyways, to you, I say, yeah it is trivial. What's even more trivial is the fact that I feel like I have to defend myself because of this. I like my own face, so kill me, you know? Is it that threatening for a person to be confident in their appearance?  Basically, I wrote this to say that I don't think people should be able to dictate each others' choices. If you must, if you hate selfies too much to even think about them as real things, use this as a metaphor. Another example could be if someone didn't ever tie their shoelaces. If you're friends with this person, you're gonna see their shoelaces a lot, and sure, it might irritate you but it isn't hurting you and that's the way they like to wear their shoes, so it's not your place to say anything. Have your opinions but apply them to yourself and the way you live your life, not to the way others live theirs. If you didn't like this post, I'm not sorry because it was fun to write and I'm just too empty of emotion to care. Enjoy selfies if you want, and feel free to put twelve fucking filters on your next one if you want to because it's your decision. That's all I have to say. Goodnight. 

Why I'm A Soon-To-Be University Dropout.

     Okay, here we go. At the moment, I'm sitting in a Second Cup. I came here because I find it impossible to do homework without people watching me. I'm not motivated to do things on my own, and I figure if I slack off and people are around and I imagine these people thinking, "Man, that girl is really not doing her homework like she's supposed to be doing...", it'll make me feel more inclined to actually do work. This peer pressure study scheme that I've created for myself has failed, friends. And it's not because all of these people around me aren't scary, it's because I hate school. I don't hate school completely, but at this point in my life, what I'm doing right now is not good for me and it's driving me up the wall.
     On New Years Eve, I decided that this was going to be my last semester. That made me really excited because I figured in this semester I would just try to have a lot of fun and not be stressed out, and that seems reasonable, right? Just taking classes that I like solely for the purpose of learning and nothing else. So, I loaded up my course schedule with English, Women's Studies, Philosophy, Classics, and History of Western Music. The first day of classes, I dropped the Western Music class because the textbook was $170 (!!!!%%&$*#&@&$#*). I didn't even go to the class one time. The next day, I dropped Philosophy because my professor was like, "You'll need to have a handle on basic high school algebra" and I was like, "Kay, see ya". A week later, I dropped my Classics course because my prof was the most boring speaker I've ever heard in my life. I know he's probably incredibly intelligent and a really cool guy, but it just didn't work for me. So here I am now - down to two classes, a part-time student. You think it'd be a walk in the park, right? For the most part, it is. I go to class (most of the time) and I take notes on the things I'm supposed to take notes on and I do my assignments the way my profs want me to do them, and a lot of the time I really do enjoy the content. I like listening to these people who have years of experience in their fields tell me about all of these really cool facts, and different ways to read, and think and all of that. It's really nice to see people who are passionate about what they do. I love professors. They're neat people. But on another level, it makes me that much more upset about the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing there. My whole "this semester is going to be fun because I'm not working towards anything la la la" attitude has turned into an existential "why am I wasting my youth on sitting and digesting the stuff this corporation of an institution wants me to learn, I'm just paying them to be miserable, basically" attitude. What I'm angry about, if you didn't catch on in that last sentence, is the institution - the school itself. I've mentioned this briefly before but I never really got into exactly what I don't like about it. Let me enlighten you and get super personal (is it possible to get more personal?? Why am I telling you everything???). I received a loan from the government of Alberta for $13,000 dollars to live and go to school over this past year. I did it because I thought I would love university, I thought I would stay, and I thought it would be worth it. I loved high school, and loving university is what I was supposed to do, right? Not included in this loan were textbook costs. Overall, I think I spent about $600 on textbooks. Dropping all of those classes really helped me out though. Getting back $200 from this place that I hate was like a dream come true. So anyways, my point is, here I am in this Second Cup, worried about even buying a cup of coffee because that's how "in the hole" I am financially, and this school that's given me mostly stress and bad feelings is taking my money without batting an eye. It doesn't seem fair to me and it makes me upset.
     Now, before you get all frustrated with me because I'm just doing a lot of bitching, I want to say something. Firstly, I am so lucky to live in a place in the world where I am able to go to school and get an education. The freedom for people to choose to do that is something that I really value. It's just not for me, personally. Secondly, if you like school, I am so happy for you. If you fit in there and you feel like you're getting a lot out of your classes and you are just in love with every building you go to class in and you want to set up a tent in the hallway you love it so much, I am so, so, so happy for you. That's what everyone should feel - like they're spending their time on something that truly means something to them. If you can afford to go to school - hell, if you can't afford to go to school - and you are legitimately happy being there, fucking stay. Stay and be smart and be you and just have fun. All I'm saying is that this doesn't work for me. And honestly, after I spewed all of that anti-capitalist hate garbage (lawl), I'm not even as bitter about it as I seem, believe it or not. I'm glad that I know now, you know? If I never went to school at all, I would have always wondered, "Hmmm, what would a 300-level Philosophy class be like?" Now, that I've been to school, I know that it's full of computer scientists who just love math and that's cool. But it's not for me, and because I tried it out, I know that.
     In summary, the school I've been going to doesn't work for me because I feel like I should be doing something better with my time if I'm not sure about this right now. So, I'm going to finish off this semester and try to get the most out of it that I possibly can, I'm going to work my ass off this summer, and then travel. The way I see it is I could stay in school and learn how I'm supposed to be living, or I could just actually go out and live.
     I hope that this post spoke to you if you're unhappy with the institution you're currently stuck in. Even if you are happy with the institution you are in (again, I'm so happy for you), maybe this will help you understand why a lot of the people who started school at the same time you did aren't there anymore. Every one is different and every one needs different things. If you're happy where you are, stay there. If you aren't, get the fuck out and try something else. The only thing holding you back is yourself and I've experienced that first-hand. Always exercise your talents and always do what feels best for you, not what feels best for your parents or friends who think you should be doing something else. If you want to rip me to pieces for this post and tell me I'm an ungrateful first-worlder, feel free because I probably am. I just want people to acknowledge their feelings about where they are in their lives and follow them. That is fucking cheesy of me to say. But it works! I've acknowledged that I hate school and I feel light as a feather. Give it a shot and ask yourself if you're happy. It'll pay off. Ew, a money pun.

Another Essay For The Masses.

     I am emerging from the bat cave to say hello to the internet for a young minute. Hello, internet. This blog has turned into one of those things that I wish I had time for, and then I realize I do have time for it, and then I just get mad that I've kind of let it go to shit. Like, how you feel about cleaning your room, kind of. The last post I made was an assignment that I did for school, and guess what this post is? Bingo! An assignment I did for school. I like posting assignments because I feel like I'm defying the system a little. I hate the whole educational institute and what it does to peoples' brains. Most of the time, the majority of what school is is people who are really intelligent being taught how to be taught, you feel me? Creativity goes out the window and you end up writing papers based on a format that your teacher likes, erasing your ability to compile thoughts in your own way, and where does that leave you? Yes, with good marks, but also with a hollowed out creative mind and soul that should be filled with unique ideas and ways of doing things that make sense to YOU, not to your teacher. The reason I like posting my assignments is because I feel like I'm pretty good at doing what teachers like but within that, I'm always trying to find a way to write about things that I care about and that expand my creative and critical mind. So! This assignment is for my Women's and Gender Studies class. We were asked to analyze a TED talk, pick a specific part of the talk that stood out to us, explain what we think about it and argue why we're right. If you haven't seen this TED talk, I'm gonna post it right NOW:

http://youtu.be/VAJ-5J21Rd0

 

     So, watch it and then maybe finish reading this post, if you want! I think there are a lot of ideas that are really important to think about, even if you don't necessarily agree. Also, if you want to brutally criticize my essay, feel free! I'll write another post soon, hopefully. My essay is right below this. Thanks!

 

 

Deconstructing Boxes: Challenging Societal Norms and Binaries in iO Tillet Wright’s “Fifty Shades of Gay”

              

In every day situations, people are constantly faced with societal dichotomies. Be it black or white, small or big, his or her; the list goes on. The world is full of mutually exclusive binaries that force people to make a decision to be one or the other, but not both. In her TED talk, “Fifty Shades of Gay”, iO Tillet Wright explains how harmful polarization can be in all aspects of life, but most prominently for her, in terms of sexuality - the division between gay and straight in the United States specifically. Wright explores the limitations that come from placing people in boxes instead of allowing them to decide whether or not they would prefer to be in these boxes, in between these boxes, or maybe not be involved with these boxes at all. Putting people in boxes based on such a small part of their character (e.g. sexuality) is incredibly harmful and dangerous, can change their lives in drastic ways, and make them feel as if they do not belong.

               Labelling people based on gender and sexuality starts at an early age and, in most cases, carries on through adulthood. To begin her TED talk, Wright tells the audience about her childhood. She starts by telling the audience that when she was six years-old, “[she] decided that [she] wanted to be a boy” (Wright). Wright also tells of her very “sheltered” childhood in which she was never “asked to define [herself] as any one thing at any point” (Wright). From the way Wright speaks about her childhood, it is obvious that she feels very positively about the way she was raised. Her disagreement with boxes and labels most likely stemmed from having such an open and accepting childhood where she was never judged or expected to be anything that she did not want to be. She then goes on to explain how through her adolescence, she “wanted to be a girl again” and throughout her life continued to change and grow (Wright). Unlike Wright though, most children are labelled based on a socially constructed binary as soon as they leave the womb. Because of this, their freedom of expression is immediately limited. It is easy to see this in examples such as toys made for girls and toys made for boys. Girls receive pink, easy to use, non-challenging, soft things to play with, whereas boys are expected to play with cars, enjoy loud things, be masculine, and build things from the time they are five years-old. It is obvious that there are limitations to the growth of children when they are expected to grow up in such a structured way. Wright’s example of a more accepting and open childhood virtually eliminates expectation and the harm that stems from such an oppositional system.

               This gender binary ultimately leads to current gender theory: the expectation of masculine male humans to desire women and feminine female humans to desire men. This model continues to limit the way that people are allowed to feel in society, and further proves that a system full of dichotomies is not getting the human race any further in terms of freedom. Wright explains that “today in 29 states, more than half of this country, you can be legally fired just for your sexuality” (Wright). This example of one of the limitations of the gay/straight binary is enough evidence of a civil rights injustice to prove that a change needs to take place. If a person identifies as straight, they are automatically granted with basic human rights; the right to get married, the right to adopt children, the right to have a job at a certain place of work, etc. If a person identifies as gay though, these rights may be taken from their hands, and this is not just. Wright highlights the fact that, on the spectrum of straight to gay, most people sit somewhere in the middle. She asks, “Where exactly does one become a second-class citizen?” (Wright). If there are no boxes of gay or straight, which is what Wright is trying to accomplish, it’s hard to draw a definite line between who should be given certain rights and who shouldn’t. If there are no boxes and only a wide spectrum of people with certain experiences, heterosexual and homosexual, and everything in between, it is virtually impossible to discriminate because everyone is on the same level.

               Through the words of iO Tillet Wright, America has been exposed to a mindless dichotomy that has grown more and more prevalent throughout history. In language, on sports teams, on washroom signs, there is an ever present voice in peoples’ ears telling them to make decisions; to define where they fit and have society judge whether they are normal or abnormal based on these decisions. Erasing these clearly defined ideas about what is socially acceptable and what is socially deviant, as Wright is explaining, will give humans the freedom to define themselves on their own terms or not at all. Polarizations in all facets of life are just ideas constructed by a society that has grown accustomed to being uncomfortable with things and people that they have never seen or experienced before. These ideas have been constructed by humans, and can be just as easily deconstructed and remodeled by humans to include all people in all of their ways of being instead of only giving them a few choices and expecting that to be enough. There is far more to people than the boxes that society puts them in and when individual people become more important than these labels, freedom and equality will be that much closer.

 

 



#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

Hypothetically, Would You Be Friends With You?

     Hi. So, I'm not even slightly close to being in school yet and I'm already balls deep in stress.
I have to make a "confirmation deposit" of $175 so all of my classes in my schedule don't get wiped off the face of the planet. BECAUSE THAT'S SO FAIR AND STUDENTS TOTALLY DEFINITELY HAVE AN EXTRA $175. Obviously, I'm mad about this. Deep breaths and donuts though, amirite?
     In other news, I'd like to do a person of the week post. This one goes out to my home girl Jenna Marbles. Jenna recently posted a video on being yourself:

http://youtu.be/6xx_pwu7n-Y

     Now, whether or not you watched that video, I'm going to tell you why it touched my heart. Jenna is one of the most confident, bad ass bitches in the world. I don't always agree with everything she says, but that doesn't make me like her any less. I think disagreeing with people is important in friendships and Jenna Marbles and I are suuuper close friends, so... (I'm lying). The reason Jenna's video touched me so much is because I'm going through this "being yourself" thing in my life right now. Not the whole "discovering-who-I-am-and-writing-terrible-semi-suicidal-song-lyrics-about-what-my-heart-is-truly-trying-to-tell-me-and-eating-ice-cream-for-every-meal" kind of struggle. I never really did exactly that when I was confused about who I was and I don't know why I pulled that scenario out of space, but I feel like everyone has different versions of that whole semi-psychotic phase at some point and maybe one person did that somewhere in time...? I'm not a focused human. Anyways, the struggle that I'm dealing with right now is persevering with my notion of who I am and sticking to my guns, even if people don't like it, if that makes sense. In the video, Jenna talks about how you know that you're truly being yourself when you're the loneliest you've ever been (or something along those lines) because you're at a point where you've completely accepted who you are and, probably, who you are might be a hard thing for others to accept sometimes. AND THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. And the fact that Jenna Marbles is so confident and cool and is also super lonely like me, makes me feel really comforted. Before I get started on this, I don't mean to say that I don't have incredible friends, because I really, really do. I have wonderful friends who accept me and love me and I'm beyond grateful for that. My thing is, though, that I have a hard time being who others (society) expect me (and every other human in the world) to be (robotically polite and perfect in social situations), and that usually results in weird interactions or, like, no interactions at all with the majority of the human race. Holla if I'm not making any sense (and by holla, I mean comment below and I'll try to explain myself more thoroughly). I know a lot of people who are incredibly personable and nice and can strike up a conversation with anyone in any situation, and everyone loves these people - heck, I love these people! - and I always thought, "Shit, why don't people feel as comfortable around me as they do around these people?" And then I realized it's because I'm being myself. That's not to say that these people aren't being themselves - I'm sure they are - but a bubbly, personable, talkative, flamboyant Jenelle is just not something that you'll find under my sexy, but tough exterior. And this video made me realize that that's okay! And that's why I'm lonely! Because I'm being myself! And then I felt so relieved! I really don't want people to read this and be like, "Shit, I think Jenelle might be kind of dumb. It took her watching a Jenna Marbles video to make her realize it's okay to be herself? Yikes, I should not read this blog." Don't think this. Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk, just hating life in general, kicking sticks and rocks around and junk, and then you saw a rainbow, or a duck with baby ducks, or a really cute kitten, or a butterfly on a flower, and then you were like, "Man, life can be kind of beautiful sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't be such a heartless plug."? That's kinda what happened to me in this situation, and I am so thankful that it did. It was a wake-up call of sorts. I don't know when I started getting so personal in these blog posts and I sincerely hope it isn't scaring people off, but I'm not really intent on stopping. I feel so lucky to have the group of friends that I have now, because I don't feel, not even a tiny little bit, like I'm lying about who I am, and they love me anyway. And I am so excited for every single person in the world to reach the point where they feel as content as I do for this reason alone - that people love me because of exactly who I am and I don't have to pretend at all to be anything I'm not. 

     I, Jenelle Dufva, am terrible at small talk, disgustingly unorganized, incredibly witty, fairly book smart, bad at making friends, good at spending money on shoes, super supportive of my sisters, completely void of leadership skills, potentially hypocritical, very granola, and fierce as fuck. I'm lonely sometimes, but most of the time I'm not, because I've got my really great friends who love me and I've got myself. And I think that's pretty cool.  

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

The "V" Word.

     Good morning, dudes! This is something different for me - I usually don't write in the morning. But, I have the day off, it's sunny outside, and I don't want to deal with my actual real life/my problems. So, here we go.
     I've been thinking about "slut-shaming" a lot lately. Now, if y'all don't know what this means, the definition of "slut-shaming" is: "the act of making a woman feel guilty for displaying certain sexual behaviours that aren't typical to traditional gender roles." It can also be used to define the way that some women are blamed for their own rapes and sexual assaults based on the clothes that they were wearing or their previously sexually forward manner. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for clarifying.) Obviously, this is gross. I can't believe that after all of the research done on women and the reproductive systems of women explaining our ability to have multiple orgasms and our bodies' insatiable desire for sex, we are STILL put under this stigma that we are surely, generally, "non-sexual" beings, and that if a woman is very sexual it is out of character. That is just so damn silly. Give me a break. The worst part about it, I think, is not this, but the fact that individual women can't do whatever they want sexually without being judged for it, you know? Like, maybe I have two friends and one of them is a "virgin" (by that, I mean having had no sexual experiences; I will discuss my views on virginity later on) and has no desire to have sex whatsoever and the other is a flaming sex pot. Both of them are going to be judged based on their choices due to things such as age, career choice, religion, etc., but most of all, gender. It's so wrong! If my two friends are both happy with the way they're living their lives, then why should they have to change simply because of what other people want them to do? They're being put under this blanket statement that says women are supposed to want sex these ways, this is how women should be satisfied, and anything more or less is completely unacceptable.
     This takes me on to my "Anti-Person of the Week" portion of my blog post. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, Taylor Swift. This will be a small portion, since the only things I have to say are absolutely negative and what I'm trying to get at here is pretty plain. Usually, I don't like to hate on people, and I'm sure that (maybe?) Swift's mind could be changed if she were more educated, but for now, here we go. From the way she believes that fifteen year-old girls are all vulnerable, unassuming, and naive (listen to "Fifteen"), to her classic slut-shaming antics ("she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" - therefore, she's obviously better, more pure, and less "slutty"), I've learned that T Swift is just a sad little person who got caught up in the terrible labels and discriminations that society is so insistent on handing out. In an interview, Swift was once asked if she identifies as a feminist. Her reply was simple; "I believe in equality, but I'm not a feminist." Well, I think that deserves a round of applause, don't you? First, indoctrinating little girls with your slut-shaming lyrics and then refusing to identify as a feminist because of the negative connotations? Bravo, Swift. You're a fucking winner.
     Lastly, I'd like to talk about the ridiculous concept of "virginity". Children are raised (especially religious children) with this title bestowed upon them. They are "virgins". "Virgins" are pure and completely void of sin. And once a "virgin" is ready to get married or bear children, his/her "virginity" is lost by having vaginal/penile intercourse, but, because it's through love and matrimony and between a man and a woman, that makes it okay. Now, in reality, this is what "virginity" looks like: You're fourteen and you find yourself in the woods with a certain boy/girl at a birthday party and things happen with hands and mouths and you're discovering your sexuality and it's lovely and exciting and new, but when it's over, you're left wondering, "Wait - am I still a virgin?" And then perhaps you feel guilty or dirty, because you feel as though some of your "purity" is gone and you're not sure if that's the way the concept of "virginity" is supposed to work. I just want to take a second and say, FUCK VIRGINITY (LOL. Pun not intended). It isn't real. The way that we are lead to believe that our bodies are for one person and one person only, that we can only "lose it" through one specific act (what about homosexuals?) at one specific time when we're all married up, but that other similar acts may tarnish our pure, white souls. Guys, this isn't right. This isn't the way the world works and I don't think being "pure" is something that should define how we feel about ourselves based on our sexuality or what we choose to do with our sexuality. I'm not saying that saving oneself for marriage is wrong; if you think that's for you, then do your thing, dude. What I'm saying is that it's terrible that adolescents feel as though they're ruining a part of themselves that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST by exploring what their bodies and hearts are curious about. There's nothing wrong with becoming, or not becoming, sexual beings in whatever way we decide to do so, and the only thing that "virginity" does for these people that are exploring is make them feel guilty about a part of their natural minds and bodies that they can't control. Also, if the concept of being a virgin didn't exist, then the chances of women being "slut-shamed" (by Taylor Swift and others) would be a lot less. There would be no ideal sexual being to compare these "sluts" to if we all just accepted that people choose to do what they want with their bodies and that's okay. So, that's why I think "purity" and "virginity" are a load of shit.
     I hope you all have a nice day. I'm out.
     

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.

PEOPLE OF THE WEEK.

     So, hi. I know I wrote a post yesterday, but it's Saturday (no work) and I have the plague (no health) or something so here we go! Round two! Wudup!
     I have two people that I want to talk about today.
     Person #1. Hannah from "Girls". If you haven't seen "Girls", you are actually missing out on a very important part of life. I didn't watch it for a while based solely on hipster principle. I hadn't yet seen "Girls" for the same reasons that I haven't seen "Downton Abbey" or "Sons of Anarchy". I've already got "The Walking Dead" and "Adventure Time" to worry about, you know? My hipster TV show cred is, like, through the roof as it is. But I was talking to my cool friend the other day about "Girls" and she was all like, "You have to watch it! It's actually like hanging out with friends, it's not even a TV show." And that had me convinced. So, coincidentally (I'm thinking my friend gave me this illness on purpose), I got insanely sick over the last few days and became confined to my bed. I started "Girls" and I finished it in two days. It's actually one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. The story line is pretty similar to "Sex and the City", which is a planned thing, I think. Four girls living in New York, trying to figure their lives out and dealing with men along the way. But there's something about it that pulls you in. Maybe it is the hipster aspect that's attractive - fashionable clothes, tattoos, drugs, well-read teenagers - but part of me feels that it's the honesty. These girls actually just have no sense of which way is up. There's a certain existentialist/absurdist quality to the show. Shit just happens from one moment to the next and no one has any idea what's coming their why or why anything happens. Sometimes conversations between people go on for a little too long, to the point where it's uncomfortable, but that just makes it all the more real. And HANNAH. Hannah is a piece of work. I've never seen a protagonist who's more like myself in my entire life (Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a close second, but that's a book, so yeah). She's anxious all the time about everything and she's so weird! She's actually just so abnormal that it makes her insanely attractive to watch. Also, speaking of attraction, since this show is on HBO, we know there's a whole lot of sex. And normally, when we watch these types of programs, the women who are completely naked are perfect and sweaty and glistening and well-proportioned. Hannah isn't. Hannah has small breasts and some extra cushioning around the middle and tattoos that depict scenes from children's books and honestly, I've never wanted to be someone as badly as I want to be Hannah. She's so unbelievably sexy. She's perfect in the most confusing way. I've never seen anyone who loves to eat cupcakes as much as her or has as much OCD. She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her; she's so confident, it's unreal. I admire her character so thoroughly. She's the perfect role model for women. She's chubby, she wears what she likes, she cares about her work an incredible amount, she thinks she's beautiful, she explores/is comfortable with her sexuality, she cares about what she wants above what others want and she just generally doesn't give a fuck. And I think she's great.
     Person #2: Macklemore. That guy. Macklemore. My best friend and I were in a choir in 2011 where we met these awesome people and we bonded hard. How did we bond so hard, you ask? Music and thrift shopping. No joke. Before it was "hip", we went to Value Village with a handful of other choristers and we rocked the shit out of teal, floor-length trench coats. We were about to head to the same choir with the same group of wonderful people in 2012 when about a week before, one of these crazy kids sent us a link to "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and we all cried a little bit, I think. It was our theme song. (Also, choir Value Village trip version 2012 consisted of fur. A shit ton of fur.) Of course, now, it's disgustingly overplayed and everything, but I'll have a special connection to that song forever because of my best friends and our memories. After hearing "Thrift Shop", I had to see what the rest of Macklemore's stuff sounded like and I've come to the conclusion that Macklemore, in and of himself, is a fucking revolution. After "Thrift Shop" did it's thing, radio stations started playing "Same Love". If you haven't heard that song, here: http://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0
This song, without a doubt, has done wonders for the self-esteem and confidence of LGBTQ people all over the world. I've never heard a rap song, actually, any song for that matter, so obviously supporting the rights of homosexual people in such a forward way. Past these two songs, Macklemore just gets better. There isn't a song on his album that doesn't mean something to someone on an incredibly deep level. Whether you're dealing with sexuality, a tough break-up, religion, drug abuse, etc., Macklemore has got you covered. And besides the incredible content of his songs, the way he raps is really personal. There's this feeling I get from listening to his music that make me feel as though we're having a one-on-one conversation. It makes me feel a lot less lonely. Overall, I think he's one of the most amazing musicians of our time and "The Heist" is a fucking masterpiece and if you don't own it, you are missing out on a great, big, beautiful thing. Thank you, Macklemore, for the beautiful controversy you've acknowledged in our society and for helping some of us kids get through the shit we can't get through alone.
     Well, I'm gonna go cough up all of my organs now and I'll probably end up writing another post later. I'd really like some emails or something to look at whilst lying on my death bed, so if y'all have anything to say about what I say, any ideas for things that I could write about, or cute cat videos, I'm in. Thank you for reading my blog. You're really nice.

Please Just Calm Down.

     Just before I start, I'd like to say that I tried as hard as I could to be professional and not say bad words in my posts, but that's the way I talk in real life. So why wouldn't I write like that, right? I don't really care if it offends you or not, I just thought I'd let you know what's up with that and why I've gotten progressively more intense as time has passed.
     The last time I tried to write about feminism, I got verbally abused (without any hint of constructive criticism) by a person who knew a lot more than I did about it, and that's okay. I was kind of hurt by it at the time, but then I realized that person is just a troll. To you, my dear instigator of frustration, I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize that there's people out there who know more than I do and I need to read more. Thank you for being so utterly condescending towards someone who is trying to learn (sarcasm). Also, thank you for making me realize that I don't really care about being "third wave". I think it's fantastic that some people are confident enough to call themselves that, but I don't think it's very important to me personally. All I care about is people realizing that feminism is an issue that needs to be addressed and the importance of equality among men and women. And lastly, thank you for making me feel better about your comment by making me realize that you've got a lot of work to do too. A true feminist wouldn't diss another feminist's point of view simply because it isn't necessarily the same kind of feminism. Arguing is cool. If you want to argue with me, I invite you! But don't just put me down and not offer up any kind of advice. Frankly, I think that's a little rude simply on a person to person basis.
     Phew.
     That's been building up inside of me for a long time.
     Anyways, I just have a few things to rant about and stuff, so stick around if you've got the time.
     1. Stop thinking you're ugly. I don't care who you are, where you live, what sexual orientation you are, what colour your hair is, or how many fingers you have on your right hand.

You are not ugly.  

     Saying you're ugly is giving in. It's giving in to every single person that's every put themselves above you on any level, it's giving in to society, it's giving in to Victoria's Secret, it's giving in to Covergirl, it's giving in to Playboy. Don't give in. I  guarantee that someone you know thinks you're beautiful. Or at least someone on Instagram thinks you're beautiful. Definitely your mom thinks you're beautiful. And if they don't...

     2. Stop giving a shit about what other people think. I know that you've been hearing different variations of that phrase since you were five years-old, but I'm serious. Why should you care? No one is better than you. No one should be able to make you feel inferior. Everyone is equal. If you spend all of your time caring about what other people think you won't ever be satisfied. BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM BRO. Sure, you can ask. Sure, you can guess. But people lie and assuming is stupid. The only person you can ever truly trust is yourself. So start caring about what YOU think, dude. 

     3. Focus on loving people and the relationships you have. "Ugh, this girl is a hippy." said the judgemental blog reader. When I speak to girls, a lot of the time I hear, "Oh, I wish I had hair like hers", "I hate that girl; her legs are so long", and "Look at that girl's make up, it's so nice. What a bitch." Stop it. For fuck sakes, just give it up. Maybe instead of being envious, you could go up to that pretty lady and say, "Gurrrl, you got some sick legs. Show those babies off! Good for you!", you know? Stop hating people because they have stuff that you want. You have great stuff too! Just be happy with your own stuff and be happy for other people with their stuff. CALM DOWN. Do you know how many more friends you would have if you complimented a fellow girl every time you liked something about her? You would have a lot more friends, in case you didn't get where I was going there. Also, if you stop focusing on being so jealous and down on yourself, your significant other is going to like you a whole lot more. Yep, I went there. Just think about it; how much would you hate it if the person you loved more than anyone else in the world spent all of his/her time hating himself/herself? Especially if this prevented him/her from seeing how much you love him/her? Be confident, guys! Love your bodies and love your souls. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be unbelievably sexy and incredibly kind, he/she just needs to believe it. 

     I don't mean to be rude or preachy with this post, I just want everyone to love themselves. 

     If you have any questions or comments, I would really, really like some feedback. Comment below or email me: jenelledufva@gmail.com

    

     Do something fun tonight! Thanks for reading. 

"The Hipster Dilemma" followed by "The Hipster Solution"

     Hi. Sorry I've been a shitty blogger lately. I'm probably only apologizing to one person because no one ever reads this, but I do sincerely apologize to you, dude. One of my new years' resolutions is to actually blog at least once every two days. My life has just been a complete and utter mess lately but I'm gonna get back on track pretty soon, I promise. I feel like the new year is going to bring a lot of good things my way and hopefully that's reflected in my blog activity. Anyway, considering the fact that my life sucks right now, this blog entry might be a little weak, but I just like writing. Especially ranting. About stupid stuff that people say. Mwahaha.

     So, this is the thing, guys. This is basically the most important issue facing us kids in the 18-22 year-old range who have good taste in clothes and teas. This is the term that we fear. And, paradoxically, the term we cannot get away from.

HIPSTER. 

     Doesn't it just scare the shit out of you? Doesn't it make you quiver in your knitted wool scarves? Are you shivering in your studded Steve Madden combat boots and your stylishly nerdy Ray-Bans? Are you spilling your Jasmine infused green tea all over your courduroy half-gloves while you shake, listening to some band I don't even know the name of? You are. I am. We all are. Because it's terrifying. Let me tell you why.

     In case you don't know the definition of a hipster, here you go: A hipster is defined as a person who keeps up with all of the latest trends in clothes, music and entertainment. That seems harmless enough, right? It shouldn't bug anyone. But it does! People are incredibly offended by the idea of other people thinking of themselves as cool! It's hilarious, really. So, these people that hate hipsters have started to use the term "hipster" as an insult, which, let's face it, is why the term was created in the first place. When one of your friends (who is definitely cooler than you, by the way) brags and brags and brags to you about his new record player, you instantly think, "Fucking hipster." Of course you do! The guy is being a jerk-off! And adding the word hipster in there just makes the insult that much more effective. There are lots of asshole hipsters and there are lots of harmless, nice hipsters, just like in every other group of humans. Basketball players, retail salesmen, hairdressers, drug addicts, etc. It's not fair to think of all hipsters as inherently bad because a few are dumb. You wouldn't do that with any other group of people, would you? There are some good ones and some bad ones and that's just how it is. But a lot of people do see ALL hipsters as being pretentious and snobby and that's what makes us stylish, smart people so scared. We don't want to be seen as rude or cocky, we just like cool stuff and we like to hear about it first, okay? Calm down.

     It sucks to live in constant fear of this label. It sucks to live in constant fear of ANY label, for that matter. So, my solution for all of you nice people who listened to Crosby Stills & Nash before they were popular, is to not worry. If people are shallow enough to judge you on your beautiful owl jewelry or your many different toques, then you shouldn't have to care what they think. They're just jealous because you're an individual, dude. You know what you like and you know how to look good while doing it, and some people just can't handle that. So, walk with your half-shaved head held high and let the world know that you don't care. You're fabulous. Whether you're a woman or a man, short or tall, gay or straight, hipster or mediocre, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. You're a person and you're my fellow person and I love you and everyone else should too. But I loved you before all of those other people; remember that. 

P.S. The food blog will start once I move out, which will be in January sometime.