ELLE WOODS IS SO BOSS

     You know when people tell you sitting on the couch and watching movies is a waste of time? They're absolutely 100% wrong because you can learn EVERYTHING from movies (slightly untrue, but I'm going with it). I first watched Legally Blonde when I was probably ten years-old and of course at the time I was like, ten, and obviously not super aware of what was going on, but I remember liking Elle because she was smart and wore nice clothes. If you haven't seen/read Legally Blonde, for god sakes this is 2014 (I'm not actually mad but you should go watch it), do yourself a favour and open yourself up to POP CULTURE. I just finished watching it and I am so hyped because Elle Woods is a perfect role model and AH I am just so stoked!
     So for all my movie h8ers (I'm just bugging you) in the crowd, here's why this movie is perfect and why I'm, like, convulsing in excitement right now. Elle Woods, played by Reese Witherspoon, is the protagonist and she looks like this:

     Stunning. Now, normally I wouldn't talk about a protagonist's looks but the whole movie is basically about judgy people being super judgy assholes, so I just thought I'd give you that visual for context. Here's a quick summary of the story, then I'll elaborate. Elle is from LA and she's a stereotypical, rich valley girl with amazing manners and gorgeous hair. She falls in love with Warner, who then goes to Harvard and breaks up with Elle. Elle applies to Harvard Law (wow) and goes to get Warner back. After learning that Warner has a new not-so-nice fiancé at Harvard, Elle is crushed, gets her nails done, makes friends with her manicurist, and then continues to fight for Warner. After learning that Warner thinks she's stupid, Elle is determined to kick ass and she does. She gets an internship under one of her professors and works really, really hard. After this professor makes a pass at Elle (gross), she second guesses herself and almost gives up. But she comes back, gets this professor fired, takes his position and continues to, once again, kick ass. Now, let me begin.

     Elle was in a sorority in LA. She references it often and you can tell that it's something she really cares about. Throughout the movie, it's apparent that her passion for sisterhood extends past the walls of the sorority house. To begin with, she makes friends with her manicurist, Paulette Bonafonte, almost immediately (they bond over getting their hearts broken, but a) who doesn't? and b) Hollywood can't give us everything we want yet). She helps Paulette to take control of her sexuality and what she wants by teaching her the infamous "bend and snap". Elle and Paulette become really close and Elle is always there for her. Another example of Elle's commitment to her sisters happens with her client. Belonging to the same sorority as Elle, the client told Elle her alibi but made her promise not to tell anyone else. Even though the case could've been easily solved with the alibi, Elle kept her promise and solved the case without it, proving that she's an awesome person and also a really good lawyer. The final example of Elle being amazing comes from her interactions with Warner's new fiancé. At first, Elle is curt and unpleasant because of the classic patriarchal competition between women over men (gag) but as time progresses and Elle begins to focus more on her work, their differences kind of disappear and they become friends. Overall, Elle is just being a really fucking nice person to almost everyone she comes into contact with. She creates bonds really fast and stays true to what she says, and I think that is so admirable. 

     Elle also doesn't take any shit whatsoever and I think that is sooooo underrated. We grow up being taught to be nice to everyone and have manners, and Elle portrays that really well, as I've just discussed. She's nice to everyone except for people who fuck her over, and that's something that a lot of people, including myself are missing in their lives. Of course it's important to be kind to people, but it's equally as important to stand up for yourself when people take advantage of/walk all over you. After Warner tells Elle that she "isn't smart enough", she proves him wrong. And when he tries to get her back, she calls him a "bonehead" and moves on. THANK YOU ELLE WOODS for responding to an awful comment with productivity and self-respect. There is nothing better than that. Elle takes it to the next level when she gets her boss fired. All she had to do was tell her friends what he did to her, they supported her and helped her, and she ended up taking his place. She thought about running away but she didn't and that is so powerful. If Legally Blonde teaches you nothing else, please just take from it that it is possible to handle shitty people in a mature and responsible way (i.e. "bonehead) and move on with your life instead of carrying on anger that could have been dealt with immediately.

     At the end of the movie, Elle gives a speech. In it she says two things that really stuck out to me: "Remember that first impressions are not always correct" and "YOU MUST HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF".  This first impressions business could literally translate to any person you meet in the whole world. DO NOT JUDGE PEOPLE. It is so ignorant and ridiculous to think that you know a person without even trying to see who they really are. We're all guilty of doing this at some point, I'm sure, but it is so BAD. And finally, having faith in yourself is the single best thing a person can do. Being nice, having friends, loving others, respecting others; those are all important things, but doing what you need to do to be happy is number one, always. That's what I believe anyways. It is okay to be confident, to love yourself, and to respect yourself. There is nothing wrong with that and anyone who tries to make you feel differently deserves to be called a bonehead, big time.

     Elle Woods is everything that I want my future daughter to see. Yes, she exemplifies completely every one of those stupid white girl stereotypes that are so famously talked about on the internet right now, but christ, that whole "white girls like pumpkin spice lattes and UGGs" thing is so racist. It's important to acknowledge that Elle is obviously privileged but she faces a lot of struggles and sees them through, female jealousy and sexual assault included, and things like these most likely stem from being a woman, not from being white. Stereotypes aside (as they should be - always), I think Elle is a perfect role model. She knows that she loves reading Cosmopolitan and getting her nails done and she knows just because she wants to be taken seriously as a lawyer doesn't mean she has to sacrifice any part of herself. She knows and understands completely that men are not entitled to her body, but she also isn't scared to express her sexuality in ways that she feels comfortable doing. She respects people always, no matter how different they are from her. She knows herself and knows what she wants and it is so damn INSPIRING. 

     All I have left to say is just go watch this movie so maybe all of my rambles will make sense. ELLE 4 PREZ. Goodnight.

#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

I Said Nice Stuff. Weird.

     I got a text today that said "Are you on a blog sabbatical?" which I thought was hilarious. Hi, everyone. Sorry I haven't written in so long! I just moved back home for the summer and I've been busy with choir and I'm now working seven days a week, so my mind is kind of all over the place. This is me catching up! How have you been? The blogs I follow aren't exactly teeming with new posts either, so I don't feel too bad. Plus only a handful of people read the crazy stuff that I write. But I appreciate that handful! I appreciate that handful a whole bunch! So thanks, y'all. 

     I have a few things I'd like to write about today, so fasten your fucking seat belts. 

     First of all, I'd like to say that I just erased a huge paragraph about how angry I am (*a round of applause for the young cynic*). I'm angry, but I'm going to deal with it by myself because I don't find it necessary to bring you guys into my personal life in that regard today. I have better things to say, so I'm going to roll with that. Jesus, I'm proud of myself right now. 

     Here we go: So, if any of you know me relatively well, you'll know that I'm obsessed with a TV show called "Adventure Time". I don't have much to say about it except that a) it's radical, and b) there's a lot of sneaky life lessons in it that I really value. The show was created for children by Pendleton Ward. At first, I wasn't sure if it really was for kids because there's a lot of stuff that is questionable (funny, disgusting, and deep, but questionable), but I was informed by an expert friend of mine that the show was, in fact, created for children and that made me love it a billion times more. The way that Ward presents ideas about life to kids is so perfect. For example, in the episode "Mortal Folly" Finn wears a pink sweater with an embroidered heart on it that Princess Bubblegum made for him. It helps him to defeat the Lich (the villain of the episode). I love that this is in the show! Ugh! Finn the Human, a thirteen year-old boy, is wearing a pink sweater that helps him conquer evil. If I were a young kid watching this show I would be all like, "Awe yeah! Pink is powerful! Pink isn't weak!" (as is taught by the average society member to younger generations). That's such a great message for young boys and young girls. Boys learn that pink is cool and it's okay for them to wear it, and girls learn that they shouldn't have to be ashamed of their femininity. In another episode, "All The Little People", Finn and Jake are sitting on top of a hill discussing relationships, wondering who would make a good couple. Jake tells Finn that relationships aren't about science (biology) but about the "pumps-n'-bumps" of a person's heart. Finn then suggests that BMO and the Ice King would make a good couple (both males). Jake is confused and says that would be weird, prompting Finn to tell him to not be so "judgy". Right there, Ward just told kids that two people of the same sex can love each other, plain and simple, and it's okay. And that you shouldn't be "judgy". At the end of the episode, which is all about miniature figures of everyone in the Land of Ooo, miniature Ice King and BMO hit it off, which just adds to the cuteness of the episode, totally. Lastly, and most favourite-ly (?), we have Lumpy Space Princess. The voice of Lumpy Space Princess is done by none other than Pendleton Ward himself, which often leads people to think that she's a male. There's a theory that LSP may not be a real princess due to the fact that in the episode "The Lich" all of the other princesses crown jewels fit into the Enchiridion but hers does not. My favourite thing about LSP is that she's so damn confident. She looks like a floating purple cloud and refers to her "lumps" very often, leaving the viewer to assume that her lumps are her womanly curves. She believes she's incredibly hot and doesn't let anyone tell her any different. I just love that there's a role model like that for kids, you know? She's not necessarily feminine or masculine, but she's crazy confident anyway, and I think that's really nice for all kids to see. I guess I did have a lot to say about that. Huh. Anyways, watch "Adventure Time" because it's freaking cute and make sure all of your younger siblings, cousins, babysittees, etc. watch it too. Ward knows what's up. 

     So here's the other half of my post: I went out for a nice little dinner date with a friend last night and we got to talking about our futures. FUTURES. So much stress, guys, for real. She's a history major and wants to be a museum curator eventually, which I think is just so rad. She was also telling me, though, that she's worried about not getting a job and not making money, which is totally understandable. AND I HATE IT. I can't even begin to express how frustrated I am that people who choose to go into the arts, who study the beauty of the world, are in danger of being unemployed. I have nothing against engineering and don't take it the wrong way when I say this, but it makes me really mad that a kid can go to school for engineering for four years and build bridges forever and make double the money that I'll ever make even though I'm passionate about my work and I'll more than likely have an effing PhD. I know that there's no point in complaining about this because it's just the way capitalism rules the lives of its slaves, but do you get how frustrating that is? My goal is to write books. That's all I want to do. But in order to live, I'm going to have to get a PhD and volunteer and go out of my way to gain enough experience for such a feat and to be successful in it (probably a total of ten years just for school). I just need to live in a world where the arts are of equal value to business, engineering, medicine, etc. It's not going to happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? The reason I'm writing this part is not to complain, necessarily (that just happens by default because I'm negative), but to say that I'm proud of people who choose to do what they're passionate about. Take my choir conductor, for example. He's built this incredible empire of choirs with a phenomenal reputation and has also created a career for himself in the process. He's doing what he loves and he's definitely one the happiest people I've ever met. Seeing people like him helps me realize that I'm doing the right thing, you know? Even though I probably won't have enough money to have copious amounts of cats, sadly, I'll be satisfied in my heart with my choice. I'm not pursuing writing for any other reason than my pure love for it. Instead of trying to choose a career that leaves room for my hobbies, I plan on making my hobby into a career, and what could be better than that? After all of my teachers who hated teaching preaching to me about "doing what you love, blah, blah, blah", it took physically SEEING the teachers who sincerely loved what they were doing to help me make up my mind. It takes seeing those kind of people who actually love their lives to understand what is important. So, if you wanna do the arts, do the freaking arts, y'all. Give it a go! Do what you think will satisfy you on a personal level, not a financial one. That's all I have to say about that. 

     This was a weird post because I expected to write my big angry rant, but I didn't and I wrote about...nice...things? Whaaaaat. That doesn't usually happen, so you're welcome, kids. I hope you have a good day and I hope you write a book too. Bye!  

PEOPLE OF THE WEEK.

     So, hi. I know I wrote a post yesterday, but it's Saturday (no work) and I have the plague (no health) or something so here we go! Round two! Wudup!
     I have two people that I want to talk about today.
     Person #1. Hannah from "Girls". If you haven't seen "Girls", you are actually missing out on a very important part of life. I didn't watch it for a while based solely on hipster principle. I hadn't yet seen "Girls" for the same reasons that I haven't seen "Downton Abbey" or "Sons of Anarchy". I've already got "The Walking Dead" and "Adventure Time" to worry about, you know? My hipster TV show cred is, like, through the roof as it is. But I was talking to my cool friend the other day about "Girls" and she was all like, "You have to watch it! It's actually like hanging out with friends, it's not even a TV show." And that had me convinced. So, coincidentally (I'm thinking my friend gave me this illness on purpose), I got insanely sick over the last few days and became confined to my bed. I started "Girls" and I finished it in two days. It's actually one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. The story line is pretty similar to "Sex and the City", which is a planned thing, I think. Four girls living in New York, trying to figure their lives out and dealing with men along the way. But there's something about it that pulls you in. Maybe it is the hipster aspect that's attractive - fashionable clothes, tattoos, drugs, well-read teenagers - but part of me feels that it's the honesty. These girls actually just have no sense of which way is up. There's a certain existentialist/absurdist quality to the show. Shit just happens from one moment to the next and no one has any idea what's coming their why or why anything happens. Sometimes conversations between people go on for a little too long, to the point where it's uncomfortable, but that just makes it all the more real. And HANNAH. Hannah is a piece of work. I've never seen a protagonist who's more like myself in my entire life (Charlie from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a close second, but that's a book, so yeah). She's anxious all the time about everything and she's so weird! She's actually just so abnormal that it makes her insanely attractive to watch. Also, speaking of attraction, since this show is on HBO, we know there's a whole lot of sex. And normally, when we watch these types of programs, the women who are completely naked are perfect and sweaty and glistening and well-proportioned. Hannah isn't. Hannah has small breasts and some extra cushioning around the middle and tattoos that depict scenes from children's books and honestly, I've never wanted to be someone as badly as I want to be Hannah. She's so unbelievably sexy. She's perfect in the most confusing way. I've never seen anyone who loves to eat cupcakes as much as her or has as much OCD. She doesn't care what anyone thinks of her; she's so confident, it's unreal. I admire her character so thoroughly. She's the perfect role model for women. She's chubby, she wears what she likes, she cares about her work an incredible amount, she thinks she's beautiful, she explores/is comfortable with her sexuality, she cares about what she wants above what others want and she just generally doesn't give a fuck. And I think she's great.
     Person #2: Macklemore. That guy. Macklemore. My best friend and I were in a choir in 2011 where we met these awesome people and we bonded hard. How did we bond so hard, you ask? Music and thrift shopping. No joke. Before it was "hip", we went to Value Village with a handful of other choristers and we rocked the shit out of teal, floor-length trench coats. We were about to head to the same choir with the same group of wonderful people in 2012 when about a week before, one of these crazy kids sent us a link to "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and we all cried a little bit, I think. It was our theme song. (Also, choir Value Village trip version 2012 consisted of fur. A shit ton of fur.) Of course, now, it's disgustingly overplayed and everything, but I'll have a special connection to that song forever because of my best friends and our memories. After hearing "Thrift Shop", I had to see what the rest of Macklemore's stuff sounded like and I've come to the conclusion that Macklemore, in and of himself, is a fucking revolution. After "Thrift Shop" did it's thing, radio stations started playing "Same Love". If you haven't heard that song, here: http://youtu.be/hlVBg7_08n0
This song, without a doubt, has done wonders for the self-esteem and confidence of LGBTQ people all over the world. I've never heard a rap song, actually, any song for that matter, so obviously supporting the rights of homosexual people in such a forward way. Past these two songs, Macklemore just gets better. There isn't a song on his album that doesn't mean something to someone on an incredibly deep level. Whether you're dealing with sexuality, a tough break-up, religion, drug abuse, etc., Macklemore has got you covered. And besides the incredible content of his songs, the way he raps is really personal. There's this feeling I get from listening to his music that make me feel as though we're having a one-on-one conversation. It makes me feel a lot less lonely. Overall, I think he's one of the most amazing musicians of our time and "The Heist" is a fucking masterpiece and if you don't own it, you are missing out on a great, big, beautiful thing. Thank you, Macklemore, for the beautiful controversy you've acknowledged in our society and for helping some of us kids get through the shit we can't get through alone.
     Well, I'm gonna go cough up all of my organs now and I'll probably end up writing another post later. I'd really like some emails or something to look at whilst lying on my death bed, so if y'all have anything to say about what I say, any ideas for things that I could write about, or cute cat videos, I'm in. Thank you for reading my blog. You're really nice.