Hypothetically, Would You Be Friends With You?

     Hi. So, I'm not even slightly close to being in school yet and I'm already balls deep in stress.
I have to make a "confirmation deposit" of $175 so all of my classes in my schedule don't get wiped off the face of the planet. BECAUSE THAT'S SO FAIR AND STUDENTS TOTALLY DEFINITELY HAVE AN EXTRA $175. Obviously, I'm mad about this. Deep breaths and donuts though, amirite?
     In other news, I'd like to do a person of the week post. This one goes out to my home girl Jenna Marbles. Jenna recently posted a video on being yourself:

http://youtu.be/6xx_pwu7n-Y

     Now, whether or not you watched that video, I'm going to tell you why it touched my heart. Jenna is one of the most confident, bad ass bitches in the world. I don't always agree with everything she says, but that doesn't make me like her any less. I think disagreeing with people is important in friendships and Jenna Marbles and I are suuuper close friends, so... (I'm lying). The reason Jenna's video touched me so much is because I'm going through this "being yourself" thing in my life right now. Not the whole "discovering-who-I-am-and-writing-terrible-semi-suicidal-song-lyrics-about-what-my-heart-is-truly-trying-to-tell-me-and-eating-ice-cream-for-every-meal" kind of struggle. I never really did exactly that when I was confused about who I was and I don't know why I pulled that scenario out of space, but I feel like everyone has different versions of that whole semi-psychotic phase at some point and maybe one person did that somewhere in time...? I'm not a focused human. Anyways, the struggle that I'm dealing with right now is persevering with my notion of who I am and sticking to my guns, even if people don't like it, if that makes sense. In the video, Jenna talks about how you know that you're truly being yourself when you're the loneliest you've ever been (or something along those lines) because you're at a point where you've completely accepted who you are and, probably, who you are might be a hard thing for others to accept sometimes. AND THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. And the fact that Jenna Marbles is so confident and cool and is also super lonely like me, makes me feel really comforted. Before I get started on this, I don't mean to say that I don't have incredible friends, because I really, really do. I have wonderful friends who accept me and love me and I'm beyond grateful for that. My thing is, though, that I have a hard time being who others (society) expect me (and every other human in the world) to be (robotically polite and perfect in social situations), and that usually results in weird interactions or, like, no interactions at all with the majority of the human race. Holla if I'm not making any sense (and by holla, I mean comment below and I'll try to explain myself more thoroughly). I know a lot of people who are incredibly personable and nice and can strike up a conversation with anyone in any situation, and everyone loves these people - heck, I love these people! - and I always thought, "Shit, why don't people feel as comfortable around me as they do around these people?" And then I realized it's because I'm being myself. That's not to say that these people aren't being themselves - I'm sure they are - but a bubbly, personable, talkative, flamboyant Jenelle is just not something that you'll find under my sexy, but tough exterior. And this video made me realize that that's okay! And that's why I'm lonely! Because I'm being myself! And then I felt so relieved! I really don't want people to read this and be like, "Shit, I think Jenelle might be kind of dumb. It took her watching a Jenna Marbles video to make her realize it's okay to be herself? Yikes, I should not read this blog." Don't think this. Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk, just hating life in general, kicking sticks and rocks around and junk, and then you saw a rainbow, or a duck with baby ducks, or a really cute kitten, or a butterfly on a flower, and then you were like, "Man, life can be kind of beautiful sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't be such a heartless plug."? That's kinda what happened to me in this situation, and I am so thankful that it did. It was a wake-up call of sorts. I don't know when I started getting so personal in these blog posts and I sincerely hope it isn't scaring people off, but I'm not really intent on stopping. I feel so lucky to have the group of friends that I have now, because I don't feel, not even a tiny little bit, like I'm lying about who I am, and they love me anyway. And I am so excited for every single person in the world to reach the point where they feel as content as I do for this reason alone - that people love me because of exactly who I am and I don't have to pretend at all to be anything I'm not. 

     I, Jenelle Dufva, am terrible at small talk, disgustingly unorganized, incredibly witty, fairly book smart, bad at making friends, good at spending money on shoes, super supportive of my sisters, completely void of leadership skills, potentially hypocritical, very granola, and fierce as fuck. I'm lonely sometimes, but most of the time I'm not, because I've got my really great friends who love me and I've got myself. And I think that's pretty cool.  

"I like to say stuff!" vs "I like to hate stuff and make you feel like shit!"

     It's late but I'm not tired so I thought I'd have a short, little rant.        (Probably not a very appealing way to start this post. My apologies.)
     Lately, I've been having a lot of issues with the subject of "free speech". Free speech is the right to say whatever you want. And that's pretty cool. Without free speech, I wouldn't be able to write this post right now. ILOVEFREESPEECHYAYAYA. But just like with any other right that humans posess, there is a certain responsibility that comes along with it. And this is what I'd like to talk about right now.
     A few people that I know reeeeally hurt my feelings with their take on free speech. These people, it seems to me, have forgotten their responsibilities when it comes to speaking their minds. I've seen a couple Facebook statuses speaking of a "utopian all-Caucasian Canada", the indecency of homosexuals and the roles that women "should" be playing in the bedroom and the kitchen. I even know of a person who thinks it's A-OK that she's a self-procclaimed facist. Woohoo, right? This is exactly what free speech is all about! Yeah!
     No.
     Not ever.
     There is so much I could say about all of the things listed above, but I feel as though it isn't even worth my time. If you're reading this blog, you probably already understand my belief system and you are probably just as apalled by those hurtful comments as I am. But, if anyone out there reading this agrees with the views listed above and likes to spread hate and treat their fellow humans like dirt and all that fun stuff, I vow to personally build you a time machine so you can go back to the good ol' days and be Hitler's roomie.
     It's things like this that I toss and turn over when I'm trying to sleep. How can people in this day and age, and in their right minds, think it's okay to say things like this? It scares the shit out of me. Yes, there's free speech. Yes, you should be able to say what you wish. But give me a break. This is downright disgusting. This is why we're not moving forward. This is why Mitt Romney is even an option. This is why the KKK still exists. This is why there's a Taliban. Hell, you might as well just spit in the faces of JFK, Martin Luther, Harriet Tubman, Gandhi, David Suzuki and every other good person in the universe.
     So, here. This is me exercising my right to free speech in response to those who use theirs so fleetingly and, in doing so, completely disregard any other human being that ever existed: You are a human. I am a human. Your grandmother is a human. Your neighbor four doors down is a human. That girl who wears a hijab in your English class is a human. That boy who hides his true feelings about who he's attracted to in fear of being hated is a human. YOU are a human. So, please, for the love of Darwin, push your hate aside, remember your responsibilities and show some damn respect.

   

Is Being Normal Okay?

     I was talking to a good friend a few days ago about social norms. It's funny how simple everything seems until you question or ponder why it is so socially acceptable to do certain things in the first place. I brought up the idea of having one bathroom for both genders in every public setting. If you can imagine this (it IS a little odd, I'll admit), you might feel that if this were socially acceptable since the time you were born, you might not be as scared of, or as unfamiliar with, the other gender as you are now. You may feel that this situation might be unsafe, but remember, everyone would be completely accustomed to it. I can't help but feel that this might encourage a certain type of equality and brotherhood. I know personally that I would be less scared of one on one confrontations with men (I should not be scared of men, but that's a conversation for another day).
     I also brought up the idea of raising children based on gender. It seems completely normal to most parents that if they have a son, he should wear pants and play with cars and like the color blue. But who's to say that this is what the child wants? I recently listened to a radio show on gender stereotyping in young children and how harmful it can be to them in the future, especially if they turn out to be homosexual or transgender. On the show, a couple was interviewed because of the way they chose to raise their children. They have a son who chooses to wear pink, chooses to wear dresses and chooses to keep his hair fairly long. Their son identifies himself as a boy, but chooses to present himself as more "girly", some might say. The parents are completely accepting of this young boy. Can you imagine how easily confidence would come if you grew up knowing exactly who you were, you didn't have to deal with any external pressures and your parents supported this?
     When things as normal as these are questioned, we see that maybe they shouldn't be so normal at all.
     After talking with my friend, I began to think more about social norms and one popped into my head that I've thought about a few times before: the concept of having pets. I know most people who have pets are self-proclaimed "animal lovers" and would do anything for their pet, but is the idea of owning another living thing natural? I've never known of another species that takes an infant animal away from its family and raises it according to the rules of the owner species. My family has two dogs, a cat and my best friend and I share three fish. I love all of these animals very dearly and I feel that we give them a good life. BUT, there's a part of me that feels I'm doing something wrong. Every "animal lover" has had to deal with their beloved pet shitting on the carpet. This animal has no idea that they did something wrong. If they were free to be an animal instead of a pet, they could relieve themselves wherever they wanted. But no, they belong to this animal lover and although the pet is completely clueless as to why a carpet even matters, they are punished. They are punished by their owner based on human standards. Yeah, if a person pooped on my carpet, they should know that's wrong. But a dog? I'm sorry, but there's just something about having that type of control over another living species that seems corrupt. As humans, the only species who can think and question (so far), I feel we have a responsibility to look after our more vulnerable fellow animals and protect them from harm, not willingly inflict it.
     I don't plan on having children, but now that I realize gender stereotyping in children is harmful, I'll be sure to let them be who they are meant to be if they ever happen to grace me with their presence. I'm keeping my fish, but I'm aware that now I might not have made the right decision. I know that after my little marine buddies pass, I won't be acquiring another pet. I hope this caused you to think about your own actions and maybe to question some social norms that shouldn't be so norm...al.