Whatever: A Short Analysis Of The Selfie.

     Warning: I use "they" to describe specific individuals because it's gender inclusive. If you're really serious about traditional grammar, brace yourself. 

     The time has come to talk about it: the dreaded selfie! If you've never seen a selfie before (a.k.a you've been living under a rock void of any internet usage) here are some examples: 

Me being Justin Timberlake.

Justin Timberlake being a better Justin Timberlake than me. #notbitter

Meryl Streep and Hilary Clinton being undeniably cool.

Rihanna lookin' fabulous.

James Franco being patriotic (and so cute hehehe).

Miley bein' Miley.

     So, there you have it. A whole bunch of celebrities and me and the infamous selfie. In our society today, the selfie is pretty normal. Most people in most places are taking selfies most of the time and for some reason, people have a lot to say about it. There are a few different points of view I've heard people take on this pressing issue and I'd like to talk about that, and then I'd like to talk about how I feel about selfies. So here we go:

1. People believe that many people take selfies to A) make themselves look better than they actually do in real life by using editing software, and B) get confirmation from other people that they're good looking. To all of you who feel this way, that's neat. It's cool that you have an opinion on selfies, I guess. If you don't like them, that's okay. The thing that I don't like about this point of view is that it inherently has a shitload of judgement embedded in it a lot of the time. Let's start with Part A): peeps have a problem with filters. Okay cool, but tell me, please: what's the difference between a person putting a filter on a picture and a person putting make up on their face? Both alter the appearance and both are put there because the person in charge of the subject (a.k.a THEMSELVES) wants it there. To this, the person holding this point of view may say something along the lines of "Yeah, and isn't it terrible that people think they look better that way?" And my answer to you is no. Because who are you to judge what a person does to THEIR OWN PERSON. They are an independent human being with thoughts and feelings and they probably put a lot of effort into this photo. Filters on photos and make up on faces are both artistic outlets. Sure, you can say that they're superficial and you would never do such a thing yourself, and that's okay FOR YOU but people should be allowed to do whatever they want with themselves without your judgement. So save your "Awe, this poor girl is so insecure she feels the need to post a photo of herself with all of this make up and all of these filters just to feel like she's pretty boo hoo hoo" for your own brain and your own Instagram account and your own face. People should be free to express themselves in whatever way they feel most comfortable and it's okay to say you don't like that for YOU and you only, not for them. Part B): the confirmation issue. I've heard this said more than is acceptable. "The only reason people take selfies is for confirmation from people that they're attractive." And you know, a lot of people probably do take selfies for that reason. Maybe they only get "likes" on photos and no compliments in real life interactions and these "likes" make up for their lack of attention from people. I don't know that for sure, but I know why I take selfies and I'll share that with you. I take selfies because I think it's entertaining. I take selfies because I like to write stupid captions underneath my photos on Instagram. I take selfies on days when I feel like I look really nice and maybe I want other people to see how cool my eyebrows look. I take selfies because I get bored when I'm alone all the time. But mostly, I take selfies for memories and I think that's something that really gets me about people hating on selfies all the time. My opponents reading this are probably like, "What? You like to remember how your own face looked on a certain day?" And my answer to you is yes, opponent. Sometimes my lipstick looks nice and I want to remember that. Me taking a photo of my face is not a political statement (it can be though - I'll get to that later), it's a simple photo that I wanted to put on the internet for that reason, and for that reason alone - because I wanted to. And that should be okay because it isn't up to anyone else to decide what I put on the internet. It's my decision. I think that the "daily selfie" could be a really beautiful thing if people would just give it a chance. Having an image that represents a day that you had could be the only physical "souvenir", if you will, from that day, and I think that's pretty cool. So, what I'm saying with this particular point of view is that yeah, a lot of people take selfies to feel better about themselves, to show everyone their cool outfit that day, to make memories with their friends, and that's fine. If you don't wanna selfie, you don't gotta selfie. But don't judge people that do because it's just a fucking PHOTO and it's not your life.  

     Also, as I kind of mentioned already, selfies can function as more than photos. On January 23rd, 2014 the Instagram community started a hashtag movement: "#fuckyouputin". Basically, the idea is to post a selfie on Instagram with a middle finger raised showing Vladimir Putin that a lot of people in the world don't agree with the way he's been treating citizens of Russia. If you're able to go on Instagram, search that hashtag. I don't want to say thousands because I'm not sure, but definitely hundreds of people uploaded photos with their middle fingers raised and it's pretty powerful. There was also a picture of a t-shirt that said "Putin, you can't sit with us", which I thought was really funny, but that's beside the point. What I'm saying is, yeah, selfies can be annoying and they probably make up a lot of what's on your news feed every day, but they can also do cool things. I'm not saying you should go take a selfie because it'll change the world or anything like that, I just think it's interesting. 

     I promised my opinion on selfies earlier, so here it is: I like them. I like taking them and I like looking at them. They can be super funny but also artistic, and I like that. But mostly, I like them because they're photos and photos last forever. They capture a moment, even if it is just you doin' the Miley tongue in your bathroom mirror. Seeing that photo forty years later might make you really happy, you never know. I think selfies are cool if you like taking them, and it's also okay if you don't because whatever, you know? I feel like a lot of people are going to read this and be like, "Wow Jenelle, this is a pretty trivial thing to write about." I'm pretty good at predicting arguments before they come at me, huh? Do you see a trend here? I come prepared for war. Anyways, to you, I say, yeah it is trivial. What's even more trivial is the fact that I feel like I have to defend myself because of this. I like my own face, so kill me, you know? Is it that threatening for a person to be confident in their appearance?  Basically, I wrote this to say that I don't think people should be able to dictate each others' choices. If you must, if you hate selfies too much to even think about them as real things, use this as a metaphor. Another example could be if someone didn't ever tie their shoelaces. If you're friends with this person, you're gonna see their shoelaces a lot, and sure, it might irritate you but it isn't hurting you and that's the way they like to wear their shoes, so it's not your place to say anything. Have your opinions but apply them to yourself and the way you live your life, not to the way others live theirs. If you didn't like this post, I'm not sorry because it was fun to write and I'm just too empty of emotion to care. Enjoy selfies if you want, and feel free to put twelve fucking filters on your next one if you want to because it's your decision. That's all I have to say. Goodnight. 

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

The "V" Word.

     Good morning, dudes! This is something different for me - I usually don't write in the morning. But, I have the day off, it's sunny outside, and I don't want to deal with my actual real life/my problems. So, here we go.
     I've been thinking about "slut-shaming" a lot lately. Now, if y'all don't know what this means, the definition of "slut-shaming" is: "the act of making a woman feel guilty for displaying certain sexual behaviours that aren't typical to traditional gender roles." It can also be used to define the way that some women are blamed for their own rapes and sexual assaults based on the clothes that they were wearing or their previously sexually forward manner. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for clarifying.) Obviously, this is gross. I can't believe that after all of the research done on women and the reproductive systems of women explaining our ability to have multiple orgasms and our bodies' insatiable desire for sex, we are STILL put under this stigma that we are surely, generally, "non-sexual" beings, and that if a woman is very sexual it is out of character. That is just so damn silly. Give me a break. The worst part about it, I think, is not this, but the fact that individual women can't do whatever they want sexually without being judged for it, you know? Like, maybe I have two friends and one of them is a "virgin" (by that, I mean having had no sexual experiences; I will discuss my views on virginity later on) and has no desire to have sex whatsoever and the other is a flaming sex pot. Both of them are going to be judged based on their choices due to things such as age, career choice, religion, etc., but most of all, gender. It's so wrong! If my two friends are both happy with the way they're living their lives, then why should they have to change simply because of what other people want them to do? They're being put under this blanket statement that says women are supposed to want sex these ways, this is how women should be satisfied, and anything more or less is completely unacceptable.
     This takes me on to my "Anti-Person of the Week" portion of my blog post. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, Taylor Swift. This will be a small portion, since the only things I have to say are absolutely negative and what I'm trying to get at here is pretty plain. Usually, I don't like to hate on people, and I'm sure that (maybe?) Swift's mind could be changed if she were more educated, but for now, here we go. From the way she believes that fifteen year-old girls are all vulnerable, unassuming, and naive (listen to "Fifteen"), to her classic slut-shaming antics ("she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" - therefore, she's obviously better, more pure, and less "slutty"), I've learned that T Swift is just a sad little person who got caught up in the terrible labels and discriminations that society is so insistent on handing out. In an interview, Swift was once asked if she identifies as a feminist. Her reply was simple; "I believe in equality, but I'm not a feminist." Well, I think that deserves a round of applause, don't you? First, indoctrinating little girls with your slut-shaming lyrics and then refusing to identify as a feminist because of the negative connotations? Bravo, Swift. You're a fucking winner.
     Lastly, I'd like to talk about the ridiculous concept of "virginity". Children are raised (especially religious children) with this title bestowed upon them. They are "virgins". "Virgins" are pure and completely void of sin. And once a "virgin" is ready to get married or bear children, his/her "virginity" is lost by having vaginal/penile intercourse, but, because it's through love and matrimony and between a man and a woman, that makes it okay. Now, in reality, this is what "virginity" looks like: You're fourteen and you find yourself in the woods with a certain boy/girl at a birthday party and things happen with hands and mouths and you're discovering your sexuality and it's lovely and exciting and new, but when it's over, you're left wondering, "Wait - am I still a virgin?" And then perhaps you feel guilty or dirty, because you feel as though some of your "purity" is gone and you're not sure if that's the way the concept of "virginity" is supposed to work. I just want to take a second and say, FUCK VIRGINITY (LOL. Pun not intended). It isn't real. The way that we are lead to believe that our bodies are for one person and one person only, that we can only "lose it" through one specific act (what about homosexuals?) at one specific time when we're all married up, but that other similar acts may tarnish our pure, white souls. Guys, this isn't right. This isn't the way the world works and I don't think being "pure" is something that should define how we feel about ourselves based on our sexuality or what we choose to do with our sexuality. I'm not saying that saving oneself for marriage is wrong; if you think that's for you, then do your thing, dude. What I'm saying is that it's terrible that adolescents feel as though they're ruining a part of themselves that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST by exploring what their bodies and hearts are curious about. There's nothing wrong with becoming, or not becoming, sexual beings in whatever way we decide to do so, and the only thing that "virginity" does for these people that are exploring is make them feel guilty about a part of their natural minds and bodies that they can't control. Also, if the concept of being a virgin didn't exist, then the chances of women being "slut-shamed" (by Taylor Swift and others) would be a lot less. There would be no ideal sexual being to compare these "sluts" to if we all just accepted that people choose to do what they want with their bodies and that's okay. So, that's why I think "purity" and "virginity" are a load of shit.
     I hope you all have a nice day. I'm out.
     

Why I Hate "Kinder Surprise": A Memoir

     Hey, kids! I hope everyone had a great spring break (too pedagogical?)! To start things off, I love you and your hair looked fabulous today. A quick update on my life: I've recently run out of Ben and Jerry's, so I have resorted to eating Greek yogurt which turns into real yogurt if you stir it a lot and I like that. Also, I shaved my legs, so that was cool.
     I think that the whole "society-based-around-gender" thing is really getting to me. I can't think about anything else. Whenever anyone in my life says anything, I immediately have to analyze whether or not it was prejudiced. This might have to do with my self-diagnosed OCD, but I'm also thinking that it's actually just ridiculous and I'm sick to death of people putting up with this point of view.
     For starters, on Easter, I received from my unassuming, beautiful, intelligent, independent relative a Kinder Surprise - for girls. My heart broke. I think I actually died a little bit inside. I had heard of these  from a friend and we discussed the topic pretty thoroughly. I have a few things to say about it. First of all, fuck you, Kinder Surprise. Fuck you for going along with the patriarchal assumption that girls are less intelligent and therefore we need to receive little kitty bracelets or miniature Barbie dolls as presents instead of stuff that we can actually build with our brains, you jerks. I hate you. Fuck you for making them pink and fuck you for creating a gender divide among a younger generation. I wish I could have presented that in a more polite manner, but it was impossible, so there you have it. Second of all, I'm really sad that my relative didn't see an issue with this. I have a seven year-old cousin whom I adore more than any other child I've ever known and I spent most of my Easter with him. He, of course, received a "boy" Kinder Surprise. When I opened mine and found a bracelet, I told him that I didn't want it and asked him if he waned it. He replied with a simple, "No, people would make fun of me." I said, "But I wouldn't make fun of you." And his final word on the subject was, "Not everyone is like you." I teared up a little. I feel like some of you might think that was an overdramatic response, but I don't. He's already been exposed to the opinion of society that he would be seen as "odd" or "not normal" if he wore a bracelet. He's been taught that there are boys and girls, and boys have boy toys and girls have girl toys and they don't mix. And that makes me really upset. He is, without a doubt, the smartest seven year-old I've ever known (he's beaten me at chess on several different occasions) yet society has already started to get the best of him. I guess the best I can do for him at this point is try to weasel myself into his life and continue to try to convince him that it would be okay for him to paint his toenails if he wanted to. Thirdly, and lastly, I'm really mad at myself for not saying anything about this. It's hard to correct someone who a) is older than you and has more life experience and b) you have a lot of respect for. The issue is, though, is that if my relative would have said, "Here's a Kindersurprise for the black kid and a different, better one for the white kid!", I would have freaked out, you know? Gender is such a touchy topic with so many people because, for some insanely idiotic reason, we aren't at the point yet where it's absurd for girls and boys to be treated as separate species. So, yes, I should have said something, and I'm still kicking myself. One of my personal goals is to become more vocal in my belief system, especially in situations like that. It's really tough to build up to, but I think that the more I do it, the easier it will become.
     I have a really hard time with stuff like this because even though parents and teachers and guardians don't think this kind of thing is harmful, it is. That's not even an opinion either, because there's evidence. How many young women are in school for engineering right now? I don't have any exact numbers handy, but I know, personally, five or six people who are taking engineering and not one of them is a girl. I'd say that's a pretty normal statistic in other schools and cities as well. The reason that a lot of women (myself included) believe that they cannot handle the academic challenges of engineering is that we grew up with this constant reminder that boys were better at that stuff. Boys got to play with Lego and cars, but we got to play with dolls and kitchens and tea sets. This is what we come familiar with and this is what we evolve into. I'm not saying that this is true for all women, but a fair amount of girls grow up in an environment where these are the play things that are readily available. (And I'm also not saying that being a wife or a mother as a profession is something that a woman should be ashamed of or looked down upon for. I believe that a socially conscious woman should be able to do whatever she wants to do, I'm just arguing this from a "forced-upon-us-by-the-patriarchy" standpoint.) A child doesn't bother to question why she is given certain toys; she's a child. This thoughtless indoctrination into a certain lifestyle isn't even at the fault of the parents. We, as women, are pressured by society into thinking that this is all we deserve and this is all we need; that we should be satisfied with domesticity. It's a really sad part of the world we live in. Imagine the incredible feats that could have been achieved by now if women were encouraged to do all of the things that men are encouraged to do. Does it make sense to deprive the world of the unique intellect of fifty percent of population solely based on the fact that this fifty percent contains a significant amount of uteri? No. No, it does not make sense. And, yes, every day new doors are opening and more women are becoming involved in science, mathematics, mechanics, etc. and that's fantastic! But how are we going to completely dissolve this gender divide if we still have stupidity such as separate Kinder Surprises for boys and girls? I'd like to propose a boycott against all toys, candies, books, etc. that are gender discriminative. Maybe tell your friends or relatives with young children about the problems it creates. It's hard to be so involved in peoples' lives, I know, but I feel like the importance of the issue kind of outweighs the privacy of parenthood in this aspect. I might be getting a little too "all-up-in-your-face" over here, but I'm tired and I just really care about this. Thanks for reading.
     And for the love of Darwin, please go buy some Ben and Jerry's so I can live vicariously through you. Goodnight.

"I like to say stuff!" vs "I like to hate stuff and make you feel like shit!"

     It's late but I'm not tired so I thought I'd have a short, little rant.        (Probably not a very appealing way to start this post. My apologies.)
     Lately, I've been having a lot of issues with the subject of "free speech". Free speech is the right to say whatever you want. And that's pretty cool. Without free speech, I wouldn't be able to write this post right now. ILOVEFREESPEECHYAYAYA. But just like with any other right that humans posess, there is a certain responsibility that comes along with it. And this is what I'd like to talk about right now.
     A few people that I know reeeeally hurt my feelings with their take on free speech. These people, it seems to me, have forgotten their responsibilities when it comes to speaking their minds. I've seen a couple Facebook statuses speaking of a "utopian all-Caucasian Canada", the indecency of homosexuals and the roles that women "should" be playing in the bedroom and the kitchen. I even know of a person who thinks it's A-OK that she's a self-procclaimed facist. Woohoo, right? This is exactly what free speech is all about! Yeah!
     No.
     Not ever.
     There is so much I could say about all of the things listed above, but I feel as though it isn't even worth my time. If you're reading this blog, you probably already understand my belief system and you are probably just as apalled by those hurtful comments as I am. But, if anyone out there reading this agrees with the views listed above and likes to spread hate and treat their fellow humans like dirt and all that fun stuff, I vow to personally build you a time machine so you can go back to the good ol' days and be Hitler's roomie.
     It's things like this that I toss and turn over when I'm trying to sleep. How can people in this day and age, and in their right minds, think it's okay to say things like this? It scares the shit out of me. Yes, there's free speech. Yes, you should be able to say what you wish. But give me a break. This is downright disgusting. This is why we're not moving forward. This is why Mitt Romney is even an option. This is why the KKK still exists. This is why there's a Taliban. Hell, you might as well just spit in the faces of JFK, Martin Luther, Harriet Tubman, Gandhi, David Suzuki and every other good person in the universe.
     So, here. This is me exercising my right to free speech in response to those who use theirs so fleetingly and, in doing so, completely disregard any other human being that ever existed: You are a human. I am a human. Your grandmother is a human. Your neighbor four doors down is a human. That girl who wears a hijab in your English class is a human. That boy who hides his true feelings about who he's attracted to in fear of being hated is a human. YOU are a human. So, please, for the love of Darwin, push your hate aside, remember your responsibilities and show some damn respect.