You're a Human, I'm a Human. Just Be Nice.

     I'm trying to write a lot more regularly than I have been. I think it's important to write often. Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to say and sometimes I don't, but I think it's important to put stuff down either way.
     I'm feeling really scatter brained today, and I don't think this is going to be long, so here we go. This post might be a little offensive to some readers, so use your discretion. If you don't like bad words, don't read it.
     I've been thinking a lot recently about a few specific words. Words that I've always known to be rude and harsh and hard to hear: "Cunt, Bitch, Pussy". Now, you might be cringing a little bit as you read that and I definitely don't blame you. All of those words just sound inappropriate and dirty to most people, which is completely normal. We've been conditioned to think of those words as scary and offensive. The main reason I started paying attention to those three words is because they all have something in common. I guess the first thing they have in common is that they might be the most offensive words we have in the English language. But I think the more important tie between all three is the fact that they ALL HAVE TO DO WITH WOMEN. 

What the fuck.

     I can't figure out why this never occurred to me before. All three of these words are associated with being a woman. Is that why they're offensive? Is that why it hurts boys' feelings so much when they get called a "pussy" while they're playing a game of hockey? Because it has to do with being a woman? I can't help but think that it does. There hasn't been a generation in our society yet to grow up with pure equality among the sexes. Sure, we're getting closer and closer every day, but everyone knows that we're not there yet. This is especially evident when these kind of insults are the most hurtful. And who even thinks about it, you know? I didn't even think about it until right now! Do you think your uncle ever thought to himself, "You know, this might really have negative societal consequences..." when he said to you, "You throw like a girl, dude!" Of course he didn't. We're conditioned to accept that that's the way things are. Women are weaker and of lesser value, therefore, being like a woman or similar to a woman, makes you weak and less of a person. Why else would people be so offended by the idea of being compared to a girl? I know for a fact that if someone told me I threw a ball like a man, I would feel powerful and unstoppable. Doesn't that make you sad? That there's such a HUGE gap between genders? Yes, women and men are different. Of course they're different, everyone knows that. But to see one gender as better than the other is a fucking disgrace. I can't express that enough.

     So, as a woman, I'd like to take back the word "bitch". The views of people aren't going to change overnight, of course, but if I start saying to my girl friends, "Chick, you're a strong bitch!", maybe it'll catch on. Who knows? All I know is that women need to start being proud of being women, and it's hard to do that when we're constantly hearing, "You fucking pussy!", "You lost to a girl? That's embarrassing", "Grow up, you're such a little bitch", etc. So the next time you hear someone use a word that is associated with women in a derogatory way, maybe say, "Hey dude, that's not cool. Use a different word." Just defend your gender, ladies. You know you deserve respect. 

     In other news, I just found out that there's a conspiracy theory behind "Adventure Time" that says the show is set in a post-apocolyptic universe and that's why it's a big deal that Finn is a human, because he's the last one, and Jake is the result of some radioactive explosion or something. Best show ever. 

     I still haven't started a food blog because I'm still trying to get my life together. I might just start posting pictures of food off of the internet that make me really hungry. That would be good, right?

     Anyways, thank you for reading this. I really, really, really appreciate the time of anyone who even looks over what I say. This is my favourite thing to do and it really means a lot to me that people care enough to read through it. Take care. 

It's Going To Be Okay, Okay?

     Today, I 'd like to say that it's okay to be sad.
     Life sucks sometimes. Life sucks sometimes a lot. For fuck sakes, I just ate a bag of chips and a half a jar of Nutella for supper. A small part of that decision has to do with the fact that I live alone now and can do those things without being judged, but I digress...
     If you're sad today, embrace it. Cry. Buy fifty chocolate bars. Look at pictures of Ryan Gosling without a shirt on. Pet your cat extra lots. Or your fish, if you have limited resources. Do whatever the hell you need to do and don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't be doing it.
     Everyone has problems and that's hard for others to understand sometimes. Your friends might think that you've been acting sad for too long after a hard break-up or a death in the family. But they don't feel the way you feel, dude. So you stay that way as long as you need to, okay?
     And then when you're ready, change it.
     I don't know if I like to be personal or not on this blog yet, but I'm going to be vaguely personal for a few sentences. I just recently went through the worst thing that's ever happened to me (not an exaggeration) and I'm still going through it. Every day I wake up and remember. I remember everything. And I'm furious constantly. I cry every day. I've been this way for almost three months. And I don't know when it's going to be over. I'm not saying this because I want attention or anything like that, I can handle it myself. I'm just sharing.
     So, the point of this personal, emotional bullshit is to tell you that I'm trying to change it now. I don't know if it's time for me to change it, but I would really like to remember what being happy feels like, so I'm doing my best. Wanna know how I'm doing it? SURE YOU DO!
     1. I started a journal. I write in it as often as I can and I write things I want to remember, things I don't want to remember, things I should have realized by now but haven't, things I love, things I need to say to people but can't, etc. I write as much as I possibly can. And it really helps me. I don't know if it'll help you, but it's worth a try, right?
     2. I've started completely immersing myself in everything that I love. It took me a while to be able to do anything but mope for a while, but I just recently started reading again (NAOMI WOLF) and I love it. I think if you're into reading, the best thing to read if you're sad is something you can completely relate to. Naomi Wolf writes about vaginas. Hey! I have one of those! You know? Read something that makes you feel less alone. Other than reading, I've been singing steady. I'm in choir, so that helps. And writing. I've been writing a lot of stuff. Basically, I've just been giving myself homework so that I can focus on that.
     3. Hang out with your fucking mom. I don't care what anyone says, this is what will make you feel better about your life, ultimately. Mom cuddles. Nothing better.
     4. Eat. Eat a lot.
     I'm not giving in to my sadness. I know that this isn't me and there's no way I'm going to let it control me forever. It's controlling me now, yes, but I'm trying my hardest to make sure it doesn't control me for any longer than it already has. Don't give in to your sadness.
     My best friend in the whole world told me that if you have nothing else and you can't think of a reason to live anymore, think of how it smells after it rains, and that's enough.    

Four Hours of Sleep in Forty-Eight Hours.

Right now, I'm sitting in front of a computer.

Someone, somewhere, right now, is in the process of hearing their favourite song for the first time.

Someone is drinking milk out of the carton and sneakily putting it back in the fridge.

Someone is making a bed.

Someone is shouting at a sporting event.

Someone is studying for an economics class.

Someone is the happiest they have ever been and ever will be.

Right now, someone is making eggs.

Someone is travelling by train through Europe.

Someone is starting to fall in love.

Someone is vacuuming their carpet. 

Right now, the person I love the most in the world doesn't love me back. 

Someone is learning how to tie a neck tie for the first time. 

Someone is just waking up.

Someone is very happy with the way their skin feels. 

A baby is halfway through being born.

Someone just took a bite out of an apple.

Someone is seeing the best movie they've ever seen for the first time.

Someone is cuddling with their mom.

Right now, I'm drinking peppermint tea.

Someone is rearranging books on a shelf in their room.

Someone is exploring the Great Barrier Reef. 

Someone is realizing how badly they want to pursue stamp collecting.

Someone just broke a world record. 

Someone is having the best sex they've ever had.

Someone is having okay sex.

Someone just bought a new puppy. 

A superstitious person just spilled salt.

Right now, I'm going to sleep. 

Please Just Calm Down.

     Just before I start, I'd like to say that I tried as hard as I could to be professional and not say bad words in my posts, but that's the way I talk in real life. So why wouldn't I write like that, right? I don't really care if it offends you or not, I just thought I'd let you know what's up with that and why I've gotten progressively more intense as time has passed.
     The last time I tried to write about feminism, I got verbally abused (without any hint of constructive criticism) by a person who knew a lot more than I did about it, and that's okay. I was kind of hurt by it at the time, but then I realized that person is just a troll. To you, my dear instigator of frustration, I say thank you. Thank you for making me realize that there's people out there who know more than I do and I need to read more. Thank you for being so utterly condescending towards someone who is trying to learn (sarcasm). Also, thank you for making me realize that I don't really care about being "third wave". I think it's fantastic that some people are confident enough to call themselves that, but I don't think it's very important to me personally. All I care about is people realizing that feminism is an issue that needs to be addressed and the importance of equality among men and women. And lastly, thank you for making me feel better about your comment by making me realize that you've got a lot of work to do too. A true feminist wouldn't diss another feminist's point of view simply because it isn't necessarily the same kind of feminism. Arguing is cool. If you want to argue with me, I invite you! But don't just put me down and not offer up any kind of advice. Frankly, I think that's a little rude simply on a person to person basis.
     Phew.
     That's been building up inside of me for a long time.
     Anyways, I just have a few things to rant about and stuff, so stick around if you've got the time.
     1. Stop thinking you're ugly. I don't care who you are, where you live, what sexual orientation you are, what colour your hair is, or how many fingers you have on your right hand.

You are not ugly.  

     Saying you're ugly is giving in. It's giving in to every single person that's every put themselves above you on any level, it's giving in to society, it's giving in to Victoria's Secret, it's giving in to Covergirl, it's giving in to Playboy. Don't give in. I  guarantee that someone you know thinks you're beautiful. Or at least someone on Instagram thinks you're beautiful. Definitely your mom thinks you're beautiful. And if they don't...

     2. Stop giving a shit about what other people think. I know that you've been hearing different variations of that phrase since you were five years-old, but I'm serious. Why should you care? No one is better than you. No one should be able to make you feel inferior. Everyone is equal. If you spend all of your time caring about what other people think you won't ever be satisfied. BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT THEM BRO. Sure, you can ask. Sure, you can guess. But people lie and assuming is stupid. The only person you can ever truly trust is yourself. So start caring about what YOU think, dude. 

     3. Focus on loving people and the relationships you have. "Ugh, this girl is a hippy." said the judgemental blog reader. When I speak to girls, a lot of the time I hear, "Oh, I wish I had hair like hers", "I hate that girl; her legs are so long", and "Look at that girl's make up, it's so nice. What a bitch." Stop it. For fuck sakes, just give it up. Maybe instead of being envious, you could go up to that pretty lady and say, "Gurrrl, you got some sick legs. Show those babies off! Good for you!", you know? Stop hating people because they have stuff that you want. You have great stuff too! Just be happy with your own stuff and be happy for other people with their stuff. CALM DOWN. Do you know how many more friends you would have if you complimented a fellow girl every time you liked something about her? You would have a lot more friends, in case you didn't get where I was going there. Also, if you stop focusing on being so jealous and down on yourself, your significant other is going to like you a whole lot more. Yep, I went there. Just think about it; how much would you hate it if the person you loved more than anyone else in the world spent all of his/her time hating himself/herself? Especially if this prevented him/her from seeing how much you love him/her? Be confident, guys! Love your bodies and love your souls. Every single person in the world has the capacity to be unbelievably sexy and incredibly kind, he/she just needs to believe it. 

     I don't mean to be rude or preachy with this post, I just want everyone to love themselves. 

     If you have any questions or comments, I would really, really like some feedback. Comment below or email me: jenelledufva@gmail.com

    

     Do something fun tonight! Thanks for reading. 

Hokey Pokey.

     "I only have two followers," says the girl behind the screen. "I need to work on that."
     Hi guys! I hope all is well. This will be short and not so sweet and I hope you enjoy it.
     Hockey, hockey, hockey. It's the pride and joy of Canada. It's high up on the list, next to bacon and beavers and maple syrup and polar bears, of things we celebrate here on our frozen landscape. And I think that's pretty cool. Personally, I can't watch a game without falling asleep, but I like the idea of a family going out on a snowy Friday night, wrapped tightly in mittens and scarves and things of that nature, to watch their daughter/son play in a chilly arena, drinking hot chocolate or coffee and cheering her or him on. It's a nice little picture, isn't it? And I think that's how it should be. Friendly and homey, happy and cold, in a little arena made for young kids to have some fun doing what they love to do.
     Now that I got all of that nice stuff out of the way, here's what's pissing me off.
     I live in Edmonton. And in Edmonton, we don't just love hockey; we are obsessed with hockey. Not me personally, but the general consensus is that hockey is God. And we have this arena called Rexall Place. And I've been there a few times (for concerts, not hockey games, mind you) and it seems pretty swell. Big and spacious, with lots of room for lots of people. But you know, that just isn't enough for us Edmontonians. We need a fucking palace. A place of worship for this sport. This sport that started out as a fun past-time and turned into a billion dollar industry.
     Daryl Katz, the resident expert on capitalism in Edmonton, decided that we need something better than Rexall. We need a brand new million dollar arena. Woohoo. Now, I'll give Katz some credit. He likes to be called a philanthropist sometimes, so he gives away a few dollars here and there. That's really nice of him, I think, since he can afford it. But there's just something about this guy that rubs me the wrong way. I really don't like to judge people, but I can't help but question his morals. My best friend and I found his house in Edmonton around this time last year, and it's beautiful. Huge and beautiful. But I was puzzled. In his front yard, he built his kids a private rink. A big one too. But why would someone who supposedly cares about his community not let other kids play on this rink too? Why wouldn't he fund a rink for the whole neighbourhood instead of just his own children? He's got the money. Why flaunt, in your front yard, the fact that you could build a rink for other kids too, but you won't. Also, he donated an illegally large amount of money to the Progressive Conservative party (*puke*), but that's a story for another day. I digress...
     My point is, yeah, it would be fucking sweet to have a new rink for our Oilers. That would be cool. But: 1. Do we really need it? and 2. What else could we do with these millions and millions of dollars?
     1. No. We don't need it. Like I explained in the beginning of my post, Canada was founded on hockey. It's our thing, dude. If people are true hockey fans, they won't mind sitting on a wooden bench with a few extra layers of clothes on. They just like the game. It shouldn't be a big deal.
     2. A lot. We could do a lot. The last count of homeless citizens happened in 2008. There were 3,079 people without a home. Daryl Katz, there were 3,079 people without a home and you built your kids a skating rink. Daryl Katz, there are probably more than 4,000 people without a home and you're going to build the Oilers a million dollar skating rink. Homeless population > skating rinks. Battered women's shelters > skating rinks. SPCA > skating rinks. The University of Alberta's research program > skating rinks.
     That's all I have to say.
   
   

"The Hipster Dilemma" followed by "The Hipster Solution"

     Hi. Sorry I've been a shitty blogger lately. I'm probably only apologizing to one person because no one ever reads this, but I do sincerely apologize to you, dude. One of my new years' resolutions is to actually blog at least once every two days. My life has just been a complete and utter mess lately but I'm gonna get back on track pretty soon, I promise. I feel like the new year is going to bring a lot of good things my way and hopefully that's reflected in my blog activity. Anyway, considering the fact that my life sucks right now, this blog entry might be a little weak, but I just like writing. Especially ranting. About stupid stuff that people say. Mwahaha.

     So, this is the thing, guys. This is basically the most important issue facing us kids in the 18-22 year-old range who have good taste in clothes and teas. This is the term that we fear. And, paradoxically, the term we cannot get away from.

HIPSTER. 

     Doesn't it just scare the shit out of you? Doesn't it make you quiver in your knitted wool scarves? Are you shivering in your studded Steve Madden combat boots and your stylishly nerdy Ray-Bans? Are you spilling your Jasmine infused green tea all over your courduroy half-gloves while you shake, listening to some band I don't even know the name of? You are. I am. We all are. Because it's terrifying. Let me tell you why.

     In case you don't know the definition of a hipster, here you go: A hipster is defined as a person who keeps up with all of the latest trends in clothes, music and entertainment. That seems harmless enough, right? It shouldn't bug anyone. But it does! People are incredibly offended by the idea of other people thinking of themselves as cool! It's hilarious, really. So, these people that hate hipsters have started to use the term "hipster" as an insult, which, let's face it, is why the term was created in the first place. When one of your friends (who is definitely cooler than you, by the way) brags and brags and brags to you about his new record player, you instantly think, "Fucking hipster." Of course you do! The guy is being a jerk-off! And adding the word hipster in there just makes the insult that much more effective. There are lots of asshole hipsters and there are lots of harmless, nice hipsters, just like in every other group of humans. Basketball players, retail salesmen, hairdressers, drug addicts, etc. It's not fair to think of all hipsters as inherently bad because a few are dumb. You wouldn't do that with any other group of people, would you? There are some good ones and some bad ones and that's just how it is. But a lot of people do see ALL hipsters as being pretentious and snobby and that's what makes us stylish, smart people so scared. We don't want to be seen as rude or cocky, we just like cool stuff and we like to hear about it first, okay? Calm down.

     It sucks to live in constant fear of this label. It sucks to live in constant fear of ANY label, for that matter. So, my solution for all of you nice people who listened to Crosby Stills & Nash before they were popular, is to not worry. If people are shallow enough to judge you on your beautiful owl jewelry or your many different toques, then you shouldn't have to care what they think. They're just jealous because you're an individual, dude. You know what you like and you know how to look good while doing it, and some people just can't handle that. So, walk with your half-shaved head held high and let the world know that you don't care. You're fabulous. Whether you're a woman or a man, short or tall, gay or straight, hipster or mediocre, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. You're a person and you're my fellow person and I love you and everyone else should too. But I loved you before all of those other people; remember that. 

P.S. The food blog will start once I move out, which will be in January sometime. 

     

Long Time, No Blog.

     Well, hey there bloggin' friends. How goes? It's been a while! Sorry about that. Well, actually, I'm not sorry. I've had a lot of time to think about a lot of things, so I think this little break has been good. Plus I don't know if anyone actually reads this. But I'm back and I am into this stuff! So let's start, shall we?
     My life has changed a little since we last spoke. I am now unemployed and this didn't happen by choice. Yep, I'm a bum. And I hate it. I really, really hate it. But I'm job searching right now and it's going okay! I just have to be patient. I've also just joined a new choir and that makes me SO happy. It's such a refreshing atmosphere.
     So I have been thinking about a lot of stuff, but what I'm going to write about today, I actually just thought of, like, five minutes ago. My opinions and thoughts on this are super underdeveloped, so please don't judge me, I'm just thinking out loud over here.
     My best friend and I talk a lot about technology. It's amazing; the way we've progressed, the things we know now that we wouldn't have, the unbelievable connection between people all over the world, etc., etc. It's great and it opens up so many doors that wouldn't have been opened otherwise.
     Now, take a second and think of homeschooled kids. We all know a few and maybe you are a homeschooled kid yourself (Hi!). I really don't want to overgeneralize and offend and say that all homeschooled kids are "weird" because that's rude. I think there's definitely a ton of benefits that come from a homeschooled environment. You have an endless amount of class options, school only takes about three hours a day, you can wear your pyjamas 24 hours a day without judgement; overall, it sounds like a pretty sweet lifestyle! But we all know that if you are homeschooled, there is a disadvantage that is pretty common throughout the population: social skills. Many (not all) homeschooled children lack social skills. When faced with this fact, I think of all of the things I've learned throughout my thirteen years in school but not in class: wrong facts about sex at the age of eight, being exposed to the cruelty of some of my peers' parents, learning that it was cool to use bad language and all the rest of that fun stuff.  When I reflect on all of those things, I almost wish that I hadn't been exposed to so much social interaction. It made me really confused and I think it made me grow up a lot faster than I should have. But, it also made me the person I am today, and I think that having those experiences really shaped my worldview.
     So! Back to technology. This is the main reason why I wrote this post at all (sorry if it seems a little scattered). More than anything, I really wanted to ask what people think about this: Is it possible, in our day and age, for homeschooled children to become socially adept with such easy access to technology? There are SO many opportunities for communication and connection with Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. Can these kids grow up being confined to their homes and still have the same kind of confusing, weird, uncomfortable experiences that I had in my public school days? I really hope so. I had never thought of this aspect of technology until today and I think it might end up being one of the most helpful. If these social media websites can bring these kids out of their shells, we might have a whole new, better, more free form of education to consider. Let me know what you think guys! Again, this is really underdeveloped, but I would absolutely love to hear your opinions and broaden my horizons.        Have a nice day!

P.S. I'll be starting a food blog soon! If you like yummy vegetarian eats, it might be right up your alley.