hi i did this for my women's studies class and now it belongs to the internet byyyyye

     Wow, hi guys! It's been so long since I wrote in this blog, y'all probably feel like you don't even know me anymore. Things can change drastically in a span of four months - but they didn't for me, so don't worry. I'm still a cynical Instagram addict with a love for kittens and fem power. School has kept me busy since September, but since I'm basically on Christmas break now, I am hopping back on the literary band wagon and I am ready to supply y'all with some quality blog posts (My philosophy professor turned me into a cowboy over the span of a semester - sorry...y'all). I decided I'd start my blog relapse with an assignment I did in my Women's Studies class. I'm not going to say anything more than that, but I would love some feedback! Not that I can change it now that I already handed it in...hmmm...whatever! I'd still like to know what the internet thinks. Holla at your girl. Peace. 

Cinderella and the 21^st Century: A Potential Love Story

     When I first began thinking about this project, I knew two things: 1. I wanted to transform my artifact in a positive way and not completely destroy the current artifact, and 2. I knew that I wanted to pick an artifact that displayed the most stereotypical aspects of femininity to young children, predominately girls.  Of course, the obvious choice is Barbie. She is widely circulated, probably the most well-known “girl’s toy” out there, and is very obviously unrealistic, physically. Barbie tells stories to young girls about femininity, but I wanted an actual story; an account of female passivity, oppression, and powerlessness. So, for my cultural artifact, I’ve selected Disney’s Cinderella as both a physical and cultural misrepresentation of women. Cinderella “[is] portrayed as helpless…she is the quintessential ‘perfect girl’, always gentle, kind, and lovely” and she is forced to interact with “evil women” on a daily basis (Henke, Umble, Smith, 2004: 406-410). As a young girl, I never batted an eye at Cinderella’s over exaggerated beauty, inability to speak for herself, or normativity, and this is exactly what I want to address. The story of Cinderella has been accepted for decades as an appropriate story for children to be told. But the ideas that this story suggests about gender, femininity, relationships between women, and the importance of beauty are all things that are undoubtedly harmful to the intellectual growth of children. In my project, I wanted to portray an antithesis to the old Cinderella, creating an image that might represent a more humanitarian form of story-telling and a more realistic representation of women and female empowerment.

There are multiple examples of negative representations of gender embedded in the story of Cinderella. The story begins with, not even Cinderella herself, but her father. She is described as his lovely daughter and then her beauty is described in further detail. Right off the bat, there is a sense that Cinderella is not her own person; that she is controlled by others. This is reiterated when Cinderella’s person is immediately handed over to her evil stepmother and step sisters as a result of her father’s death. They are incredibly cruel to her because they are jealous of her beauty. This relationship makes jealousy and competition between women seem normal.  The fact that this is the only contact that Cinderella is having with other women is unbelievably harmful, especially when shown to young girls. If these are the stories that are being told to young girls about their mothers, sisters, and friends, jealousy and competition will seem acceptable and expected. As the story goes on, the prince is introduced. The language that is used to describe his situation is loaded with gender bias. The time has come for him to pick his bride, says the story. This language sends very clear ideological and patriarchal messages to the reader about who is in charge in this story, choosing to make masculine power seem more important and more pervasive than Cinderella’s choice. The prince holds a ball in order to scout out a woman. Cinderella, being poor and lowly, goes through the trials of trying to find something acceptable to wear. Eventually, after much struggle, she gives up and runs to the garden where she meets her fairy godmother. The instances that follow this meeting are the most troublesome. The fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella. She makes her look beautiful in preparation for the ball, and because of this, Cinderella ends up marrying the prince. Now, embedded within these instances lie three main ideas that are what made me decide to transform her. Firstly, the fairy godmother is kind to Cinderella, but in the context of this story, being kind is synonymous with sharing beauty secrets. The fairy godmother does not offer Cinderella friendship, love or compassion – she offers her beauty. Even though this interaction is an example of a positive relationship between women, it is based on a shallow and harmful foundation. Secondly, the story suggests that the only reason Cinderella has the “privilege” of being chosen by the prince is her beauty. Only after she has been transformed into something she hadn’t been previously is she noticed by the prince. Thirdly, Cinderella becomes empowered and happy after she is beautiful and MARRIED. The under-lying and most obviously flawed idea in this story is that this story is not about Cinderella at all – not her interests, her beliefs, her actions or achievements - it is about what is done to her, negatively and positively. She is an object that is lived around; she is not living. Her decisions are made for her by others and she is not an active participant in her own life. This is what needs to change.

My transformation does not include a rewritten story, but instead, an image with stories embedded. I’ve created four new Cinderellas who each represent and shift different aspects of the story. The way I set up my image is important to the story. The two main symbolic elements lie in the uncolored faces of the Cinderellas and in the words behind their bodies. Cinderella, in the Disney version, is very obviously Caucasian – blond hair, blue eyes, etc. In my variations, Cinderella is without race, making her relatable to everyone. The blank face serves a dual purpose in providing a “blank slate”, suggesting that these Cinderellas are new and they are able and willing to grow and learn. Secondly, the words behind the women in my image are the original story of Cinderella. I placed them behind the women to suggest that these new Cinderellas have overcome the previous story; it is literally behind them. The four Cinderellas that I’ve chosen all carry a slightly different message. The first is an openly feminist Cinderella. Throughout my childhood in books, movies, social situations, etc. feminism had always been tiptoed around and never openly addressed until I was in high school. Imagine a Disney princess speaking about and rooting for sisterhood and equality for all races, genders, and classes instead of not saying anything at all and just accepting things the way they are. Having an openly feminist role model for young children could drastically change the way that they grow up. The second image I’ve used includes Cinderella embracing another woman. Two big issues in Cinderella are negative female relationships and heteronormativity. Cinderella needs to be shown interacting with friends who are not animals, but real people. A positive mother figure or a sister willing to listen to her would’ve drastically changed the dynamic of the story. Also, in terms of romantic relationships, representing homosexuality in children’s fiction is something that’s rarely done, sadly. There should definitely be more positive representations of differing sexual preference. Another option in this case though, would be to completely eliminate romantic relationships from this kind of story altogether. Children are children and they are familiar with friendship, not romance. Focusing on positive friendships within Cinderella would leave children with more relevant messages that could be applied to their daily lives. The third image is Cinderella reading a book. This example is fairly straightforward. Children are impressionable, and when children see people reading, it makes them more likely to read. Cinderella’s intelligence is never discussed in the current version of the story and perhaps changing that could change the way children feel about reading and studying. The fourth image is a tattooed Cinderella. Cinderella’s image in the current story is unrealistic. There’s no doubt that some women look that way, but beauty is not just one type of woman or man. Breaking down beauty ideals is something that needs to be done fast. Or, better yet, eliminating the talk of being beautiful from Cinderella and other fairy tales altogether and focusing instead on intelligence, hobbies, relationships with others and other things that have to do with who a person is, not what they look like.

Overall, my main proposition is to acknowledge the fact that we, as a human race, are at a point in history where one Cinderella is not going to satisfy the needs of a generation. Focusing on one kind of role model leaves out many young people simply because this singular role model is not accessible to every single child. Creating a wider spectrum in terms of what we are showing young people will make them feel better – like they have someone they can really relate to. Cinderella has the capacity and ability to create an open environment and a positive example for young people in terms of relationships, happiness, and difference. Acknowledging that this current version of Cinderella is past her prime will allow for changes in cultural stories and a positive shift towards acceptance and enlightenment.

Works Cited

Jill Birnie Henke, Dianne Zimmerman Umble, and Nancy J Smith “Constructions of the Female Self: Feminist Readings of the Disney Heroine (excerpt)” from Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions edited by Susan M. Shaw and Janet Lee (2004) pp. 406-410

Keep Fightin' The Good Fight.

     Hi, my name is Jenelle and sometimes I feel like I should be a responsible human and I think outlandish, silly billy thoughts like, "Man, I am going to bed early! I might even go to bed at 8 o'clock." And then I don't and stay up and watch "Lost" and make bracelets like every other single girl does on a Tuesday night and think about all of the productive things I could be doing with my time but I just can't bring myself to do these things because I live with my parents and I'm just not motivated by my own self interest and believe it or not, both of these things are very limiting on a person's actions. Welcome to my life.
     My BFF and I were chatting about this stuff the other day, so here I go: I think feminists need to step up their game. By this, I do not mean becoming terrorists of sorts and burning down men's clothing stores for the sake of a little self-fulfillment or such things (I hope I'm not putting ideas into your heads...). I think that we, as feminists, women AND MEN because, for the love of Darwin, men care about equality too, need to start being more readily available to the general public with information on feminism. We need to be ready to answer questions when they are asked, correct people when they are wrong, and, most importantly, be patient with people who don't completely understand. I'm going to make a list of things that I think need improvement and if you disagree then, uh, don't read the list a second time, fair enough?

1. First of all, the definition of feminism is equality. Yes, a lot of the time, people get confused about feminism and think things like, "Fucking feminists are just a bunch of lesbians who think they're better than everyone else. That's the only thing feminism could be! The word has 'feminine' in it! Logic!" That's not the case and the word "feminism" can sometimes be confusing because it does have a feminine connotation. Whatever though, the word itself isn't important; the message behind the word is important and that message is equality. Equality in society. Boom. Done. 
2. Secondly, men are not the patriarchy. The patriarchy is society. In history, men have always had more rights and more opportunities (I'm still not even sure why - shit's confusing) and therefore, society generally likes to favour men. SOCIETY likes to favour men. MEN, as a group, do not favour men. It is politically incorrect for anyone, male or female, to blame men for society's treatment of women. Whenever any person supporting feminism blames men, it gives feminism a bad name. Feminism needs men and I don't think that blaming every single one of them for our problems is going to get us anywhere. If there was this certain paint colour that you wanted to paint your house and you really believed that it was the perfect paint colour for you, but it kept blaming you for all of it's problems, you probably wouldn't end up painting your house that colour because it would be annoying as shit. That's a terrible analogy, but you get my point, right? Women need men to make this movement happen and men are just as capable of crushing the patriarchy as we are, so let's team up, yo. Be kind.
3. Sometimes people make incredibly stupid comments about feminism that just make me want to punch walls and scratch my eyes out. Sometimes I come really close to doing these things but then I think, "Hey Jenelle, calm your junk. This person is just uneducated on the topic. Let's educate said person." So, here I am - doing my best. When a person on Facebook says something along the lines of, "I just don't get the point of feminism. You can't expect men to treat you as equals and then also expect them to pay for every dinner and drive you around just because you're a lady. Why don't you just get a job that pays you the same as men?" First of all, this doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever because, feminist or not, I don't know a single woman who expects her boyfriend to pay for every meal and to drive her around everywhere - basic human manners are not necessarily a part of the fight for feminism. Secondly, I'm writing this blog post specifically for people who don't understand what we're trying to do here. As a feminist, I'm just trying to level the playing field, you know? I want both my daughter and my son (or whatever they choose to identify themselves as) to have equal opportunity, to be treated the same by teachers, to be able to play on the same soccer team, to get paid the same amount for the same job (yes, it is still an issue), and to be able to live in a world without fear of discrimination based on who they are as a person. That's the point of feminism, said Facebook user - to make things fair. If you're unsure, ask instead of exclaiming. 
4. Sometimes I'm super impressed with the amount of tolerance and acceptance that feminists have, and sometimes I'm super not. After the Miley fiasco (I hate that I'm talking about this again - fuck), almost every feminist blog I read said something along the lines of, "Let the girl be a person and leave her alone." This is awesome. I love to see people accepting other people even if their actions aren't necessarily deemed "appropriate" by society and the patriarchy and all that jazz. Any person should be able to do whatever he or she wants with his/her own body and it should be fine. So this brings me to my next point about what happens when feminists unknowingly stop practicing feminism. I guess, really, this just brings me back to my whole point about people being uneducated, but I've run into a few situations where I've been shocked at certain feminists reactions to things that shouldn't be an issue at all. For example, I once had a girl tell me (indirectly) that because I hashtagged "#boobs" on one of my Instagram pictures, as a joke, I wasn't a feminist. Also, like, every magazine article ever (women's magazines claiming to be helping women - lawl) that says stuff like, "Jeans that work for your body type! How to get that perfect hour glass figure! You can look like this!" *mind blows up* That shit doesn't make any sense. For me, any sort of discrimination against any other person for something completely harmless, such as body image, is incredibly embarrassing for the accuser. I would think that anyone with enough gusto to call themselves a feminist or an empowering resource for women (these magazines) should be educated on the fact that telling other people what to do with their bodies isn't necessarily something that's deemed appropriate. Feminists accept people in whatever way people want to present themselves. So let's work on that a little bit too, yeah? 
5. If a man asks you questions about feminism, don't treat him like he's stupid and don't make him feel guilty for not completely understanding sometimes. I hesitate to even use the word "men" a lot of the time because I know that there are women, and people who don't self-identify as either, who ask questions and are treated with this same sort of snobby attitude. People are just trying to learn, guys. Asking questions is the most important thing anyone can do in life, so don't make people feel bad about it. I mean, if someone is straight up insulting you and calling you Satan for being a feminist and all that crazy junk, yeah, get hella pissed! But don't take your patriarchal anger out on a person who simply wants to know more than they already know - I think that's pretty rude. Like, I said before, be patient! No one is going to listen to what you have to say if you're constantly jumping down peoples' throats with accusations.

     So, that's my piece. Take from it what you will, dawg. I'm really not trying to offend any feminists with this post or start any weird stuff. I completely support any person who supports equality, I just think that sometimes we need to reevaluate the ways in which we're offering information and adjust accordingly. We need to take other peoples' feelings into account and just try to tell as many people about our cause as possible in a totally rational and approachable way. I hope this post made sense and I hope it maybe offered some information to those who are still unsure about the concept of feminism and all the magical, beautiful, witch-crafty powers it holds! I'd love any sort of questions or comments so get at me, kids. Thanks for the read! Peace...

#SIFWW/I Hope Someone Agrees With Miley and I.

     HEY BLOG! Wow, I missed this thing. I've wanted to write for a few weeks now, but things get in the way (e.g. seeing cool bands play, staying up all night, singing, drinking beer, being stressed out about everything, etc.). I am back now though, and it feels good! Well, I guess I should say that I'm back for a while. Like, I'm back specifically for this post. I'll be starting school pretty quick and I don't know how often this blog will be used by my brain, so I figured I should get a big ol' spiel out before I disappear from the internet (except to retweet Obama and hashtag dumb stuff on my Instagram - oddly enough, I always have time for that). I started off with wanting to talk about one thing, but then something happened today that led me to another thing and this is EXCITING because it means that I just get to say more stuff about stuff and have my opinions be all up in your mind and that sounds really good to me right now. Also, as you may already be able to tell, I am incredibly sleep deprived due to incessant partying and my self-diagnosed insomnia, so this should be interesting. Shall we begin? Good.
     I'd say about approximately a week and a half ago, Twitter blew up with the hashtag "#SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen". I was super interested in this and so I looked into it a little more. Basically, women are getting fed up. Here, take a look:

     So, obviously it's an issue that's bothering a lot of people. I'm not writing this post to say that this particular idea is wrong or flawed, and I'm not writing this to tell you how to be fair to women who aren't Caucasian. I'm writing this post for the same reason I write every other post - to make the person who is reading this (THAT IS YOU) think about why this is an issue, empathize with those facing the issue, and think about doing her part to fix what she can. I'd also like to tell you how seeing this made me feel. I felt really sad for these women. Unbelievably sad. I have my oppressors and so does everyone else, so even though many people will say that I don't, I feel that I understand a small part of what these women are feeling. I felt alienated by this hashtag. I felt guilty for being white. I felt that this was partly my fault, and mostly, I felt that I needed to do something about it. Then I stopped and thought, "Holy smokes, is this what men feel like about feminism in general?" And I think it might be. I am not a man, but I can't help but think that the feelings I had when I first saw that this stuff was happening are similar to how men feel when they first realize what every woman deals with in society every day. I felt so bad about it and I felt that I was responsible. I don't mean to say that these feelings are the feelings people should be having, but I'm just trying to relate here. I hope this is making sense. When I made this connection, I took a step back and looked at the situation and thought, "Okay, so here I am feeling this way about this issue and this is probably pretty similar to the thought process men go through when faced with the challenges of women being oppressed in general - what would I want a man to do if I were struggling with oppression? I would want him to sit back and listen." So, here I am. I'm talking about this issue because I want people to tell me about it. I want to be informed and I am ready to hear about what I can do to help. This oppression is not mine, but oppression is oppression and I'm ready to listen. If anyone reading this wants to give me any articles to read or discuss this with me personally, I'd love to do so.

     Now! It's funny that I posted that tweet about Miley Cyrus because of her so-called "scandalous" performance at the VMAs a few hours ago. If you haven't seen it, you can find it yourself on YouTube or, like, any other website on the internet ever. To sum it up, Ms. Cyrus is singing with Robin Thicke on stage in a nude bikini sort-of outfit, dancing very sexually with a foam finger, like, those ones you use at football games? Yeah, so it was a thing that happened. Before it blows up on the media errrywhere, I want to tell you how I feel about it. Miley is a young human being. Young human beings are not old human beings, and therefore, are still searching in their heart of hearts for what truly makes them happy about themselves, gaining experience and wisdom, and growing every day. People choose to do these sorts of things in many different ways and guys, Miley is just doing Miley, okay? I can't even tell you how many young women (myself included) I've seen dancing in a sexual manner at house parties, concerts, bars, bathrooms, cafes, etc. (not with the foam finger though - that was new for me). I hate to break it to you, society, but people are sexual and because of that, at certain points, sexual things are going to happen. Miley is doing exactly what a lot of other young twenty-ish year-old people do, it just so happens that her growth process and self discovery are happening in front of the whole entire world. Sure, it may not be what you want your seven year-old daughter to see on television but a) why is your seven-year old daughter watching MTV, it's messed up and b) she's going to know what sexuality is in about five years and she's going to experience it too, just like Miley Cyrus is doing right now, just like I'm doing right now, just like all of my friends are doing right now - it isn't something to be ashamed of. I say that and I know a lot of people are going to be all like, "Um, yes, but it just seems wrong for a young person to be exposed to such crass behaviour". And sure, that's your opinion - raise your kid the way you want to, of course, but also think about this - why is it crass? Because it isn't virgin-esque? It isn't pure? She isn't wearing a sweater? That's not how Miley wants to do things at this point in her life right now and that should be okay. Sure, it's a little shocking and unnerving to my mom, but people will get over it, and hopefully learn that what Miley Cyrus does with her body is no one's business but her own. I said it once and I'll say it again, it is a shame that her personal growth has to be documented by every news crew in the entirety of the United States, but she's a brave girl and she's doing things her way. A lot of people will disagree with her actions, and that's fine, but leave her alone. Every single person does things her own way. One performance by Miley Cyrus isn't going to cause nuns to run to the streets in their underwear begging to be ravished, you know? Miley's being Miley, nuns are being nuns, you're being you and that's cool.
     Do I even want to go to university in nine days? Should I just stay with my parents and watch "Lost" and eat Cheetos all day? I'm scared. #help. Thanks for reading my word vomit about the universe and all of its creatures. You're probably really cool and I bet we would get along if I ever met you. Stay nice and compliment people on their intellect, especially if they're unaware of it. Goodnight. *somewhere in the distance, a bag of Cheetos crackles with the entrance of a Jenelle hand...*

P.S. Man, there's this really odd/radical CBC short film weird thing about the Japanese internment starring David Suzuki who smokes a JOINT on TV and wow it's really neat and it's called "Tora" and you should watch it because I think it's really inspiring that such a show was created and David Suzuki is a real bad ass motherfucker. Runonsentencesftw.

Heart to Heart, Amirite?

  Reader discretion is advised.  

     First off, fuck apartment hunting and fuck the university bookstore. I have never been so stressed out in my life. This stress not only stems from having a lot less money than I need to have, but also comes from this overwhelming feeling of frustration due to just not knowing how things are going to turn out. Yeah, I have to pay a lot for text books, but my life would be triple less stressful (ignore my grammar choices - they are faulty) if I EVEN KNEW WHICH BOOKS I NEEDED. Shitsakes.
     Secondly, I recently discovered that I suffer from something called "tryphobia" which means I have a terrible fear of holes in things. Shout out to Liz for helping me figure that one out and being my comrade! Nasty stuff.
     Thirdly, I'd like to talk about political leadership. I hope it isn't hard for people to take me seriously after I talk about such trivial things in my introductions. If it is, whoops.
     Recently, I made a Facebook status regarding environmental issues in Canada. Not even necessarily environmental issues, but Obama's views on our response to environmental crisis. I know that people have different views on how damaged the environment is and whether or not it is actually something that needs to be discussed, but that's not what I'm talking about here either. The article discussing this stuff was in the Edmonton Sun, which I hate with a fiery passion that consumes every muscle tissue in my deepest heart of hearts. I could almost probably definitely write a whole damn blog post on how much I despise the Edmonton Sun, but I digress. The article was written about a speech that Obama gave discussing Canada's response to it's environmental impact. Obama briefly discussed the possibility of the US cutting off trade with Canada until Canada cleans up it's act. This is a completely reasonable thing to say on Obama's part. He would have said the same thing to any other country that pumped out as many million tons of toxins as we do. The dude knows that the United States isn't doing much better, but he also knows that we produce a lot more toxic emissions than the US does and he recognizes that this makes us responsible for the outcome of these actions. I think Obama's dope, and I definitely agree with him. The article in the Sun was written in a really rude way. Basically, they were telling us, as Canadians, to be angry with Obama. "Obama says we don't know how to take care of our country? Man, we might even lose trading rights with the United States? We should definitely ignore every point this guy makes and just turn the whole country against him, because THAT will secure our trading rights. We're brilliant! Who needs to negotiate?" Guys. Whhaaaaaaaat makes sense about that? Sure, we, as countries, probably disagree on this and sure, it's okay to get a little bit offended when others criticize our actions, but the least we can do is listen and try to compromise, right? Fighting with our only real ally is probably the worst idea ever, so, logic says, WE SHOULD PROBABLY NOT DO THAT.
     After reading this article, a few other things came to my attention. Most people are aware of the detainment of openly homosexual citizens in Russia recently, yes? What is the deal with that? I'm not really educated on the subject (quick little side note: I'm not sure if this is irresponsible of me or whatever, but I don't usually use citations or anything like that because a) my blog posts are mostly all opinion-based and b) I write because I have thoughts about things and I like to write, not to educate people on current events. Whenever I choose to write about something, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about and I just go with that. I hope that doesn't offend people.), but I know enough to think that this is crazy. It also has recently come to my attention that Costa Rica has no standing military, and I think that's great, so I'm looking at two ends of the spectrum here. Here's what I'm trying to get at with this whole spiel, basically: where is the communication between political leaders and why is it so damn hard for people to listen to each other? I know that there's the G8 and G20 and people have meetings all the time, but I just can't understand why these things don't help anyone. Oh, sorry, correction: why these things don't help anything besides the economy. Conversation and interaction between human beings may be the single most powerful form of action there is, so where are the results? Why do we, as a species, always feel the need to immediately cause violence to people who offend us? If you think about it in more minimal terms, it seems really, really silly. For example, if you own a book store and a customer approaches you and says, "This book is stupid and I despise this cover art" and then lights the book on fire in your face, welcome to the American way, you know? I don't understand why violence is always the more appropriate and accepted solution when it is the most inappropriate solution. Why can't Laura Chinchilla and Dmitry Medvedev talk? They might have in the past, I'm not sure, but it wouldn't hurt to try again. A lot of people will read that and think, "But they don't have the same opinion on things! That won't do any good!" That doesn't matter - the least they can do is share some thoughts. I recently came to a conclusion: the definition of an argument is not necessarily persuasion. The reason that people argue is to make the other person think about their point of view - persuasion, if it occurs, is simply the icing on the cake. Agreeing or disagreeing is not the point; the point is thinking about the topic. I could argue for hours with a person who is pro-life about why I'm pro-choice, but I'm not trying to convince them that they're wrong, I just want them to think about it. Arguments are merely suggestions.
     Basically, the point I'm trying to get at here is that things never have to be so "us vs. them". Especially in terms of political leadership. All that leads to is hate, frustration, and war. The more calm we are with our leadership tactics, the safer everything will be for everyone, really. Talking isn't difficult.
     I hope everyone reading this has nice apartments and textbooks for dayzzz. Thanks!

Hypothetically, Would You Be Friends With You?

     Hi. So, I'm not even slightly close to being in school yet and I'm already balls deep in stress.
I have to make a "confirmation deposit" of $175 so all of my classes in my schedule don't get wiped off the face of the planet. BECAUSE THAT'S SO FAIR AND STUDENTS TOTALLY DEFINITELY HAVE AN EXTRA $175. Obviously, I'm mad about this. Deep breaths and donuts though, amirite?
     In other news, I'd like to do a person of the week post. This one goes out to my home girl Jenna Marbles. Jenna recently posted a video on being yourself:

http://youtu.be/6xx_pwu7n-Y

     Now, whether or not you watched that video, I'm going to tell you why it touched my heart. Jenna is one of the most confident, bad ass bitches in the world. I don't always agree with everything she says, but that doesn't make me like her any less. I think disagreeing with people is important in friendships and Jenna Marbles and I are suuuper close friends, so... (I'm lying). The reason Jenna's video touched me so much is because I'm going through this "being yourself" thing in my life right now. Not the whole "discovering-who-I-am-and-writing-terrible-semi-suicidal-song-lyrics-about-what-my-heart-is-truly-trying-to-tell-me-and-eating-ice-cream-for-every-meal" kind of struggle. I never really did exactly that when I was confused about who I was and I don't know why I pulled that scenario out of space, but I feel like everyone has different versions of that whole semi-psychotic phase at some point and maybe one person did that somewhere in time...? I'm not a focused human. Anyways, the struggle that I'm dealing with right now is persevering with my notion of who I am and sticking to my guns, even if people don't like it, if that makes sense. In the video, Jenna talks about how you know that you're truly being yourself when you're the loneliest you've ever been (or something along those lines) because you're at a point where you've completely accepted who you are and, probably, who you are might be a hard thing for others to accept sometimes. AND THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. And the fact that Jenna Marbles is so confident and cool and is also super lonely like me, makes me feel really comforted. Before I get started on this, I don't mean to say that I don't have incredible friends, because I really, really do. I have wonderful friends who accept me and love me and I'm beyond grateful for that. My thing is, though, that I have a hard time being who others (society) expect me (and every other human in the world) to be (robotically polite and perfect in social situations), and that usually results in weird interactions or, like, no interactions at all with the majority of the human race. Holla if I'm not making any sense (and by holla, I mean comment below and I'll try to explain myself more thoroughly). I know a lot of people who are incredibly personable and nice and can strike up a conversation with anyone in any situation, and everyone loves these people - heck, I love these people! - and I always thought, "Shit, why don't people feel as comfortable around me as they do around these people?" And then I realized it's because I'm being myself. That's not to say that these people aren't being themselves - I'm sure they are - but a bubbly, personable, talkative, flamboyant Jenelle is just not something that you'll find under my sexy, but tough exterior. And this video made me realize that that's okay! And that's why I'm lonely! Because I'm being myself! And then I felt so relieved! I really don't want people to read this and be like, "Shit, I think Jenelle might be kind of dumb. It took her watching a Jenna Marbles video to make her realize it's okay to be herself? Yikes, I should not read this blog." Don't think this. Have you ever been walking down the sidewalk, just hating life in general, kicking sticks and rocks around and junk, and then you saw a rainbow, or a duck with baby ducks, or a really cute kitten, or a butterfly on a flower, and then you were like, "Man, life can be kind of beautiful sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't be such a heartless plug."? That's kinda what happened to me in this situation, and I am so thankful that it did. It was a wake-up call of sorts. I don't know when I started getting so personal in these blog posts and I sincerely hope it isn't scaring people off, but I'm not really intent on stopping. I feel so lucky to have the group of friends that I have now, because I don't feel, not even a tiny little bit, like I'm lying about who I am, and they love me anyway. And I am so excited for every single person in the world to reach the point where they feel as content as I do for this reason alone - that people love me because of exactly who I am and I don't have to pretend at all to be anything I'm not. 

     I, Jenelle Dufva, am terrible at small talk, disgustingly unorganized, incredibly witty, fairly book smart, bad at making friends, good at spending money on shoes, super supportive of my sisters, completely void of leadership skills, potentially hypocritical, very granola, and fierce as fuck. I'm lonely sometimes, but most of the time I'm not, because I've got my really great friends who love me and I've got myself. And I think that's pretty cool.  

The Intehwebz.

     This probably won't be long, and this will probably be stupid, but I just have a little rant that I need to get out right now before I can continue living my life.
     I love social media. I think social media is one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened to the human race. It brings people together in ways that nothing else can, from all walks of life and from all over the world, and I think that's just lovely. I also have this burning, itching pain in my ass about social media that I just cannot get away from. No matter how hard I try to ignore it, and no matter how often I don't look at certain things because of it, I hate that there's this unspoken rule against deleting people off of Facebook. Some people wouldn't even notice if I deleted them and that is probably a pretty good indication that I should not be friends with those people in the first place, but there are others that YOU JUST HAVE TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO. You know? Am I making sense here? There are a few people within my Facebook community that I want to delete for even the tiniest reason, like, they did something one time, but I can't because it would be totally socially unacceptable and it would cause drama AND I HATE THAT. I hate that there's this "Facebook etiquette" that has to be followed in order to not offend people. I hate offending people though, so I try my darnedest to be friendly on Facebook. But, Jesus Christ, if you don't read what you write before pressing "Post" and you end up writing something like, "I went to the malt tonight two get some hooks and thigh" and you actually meant to say, "I went to the mall today to get some books and thread", get out of my fucking face, please. If you want to type errors so readily, do everyone a favor and delete everyone of your Facebook friends because they probably feel the same way about you that I do. Sometimes, when I'm feeling extra super miserable, I want to delete people for being happy. When I see that  "(fill in the blank) is thinking about how lucky she is to have such an amazing boyfriend", for a second, I'm like, "That's it, fuckers - you're both gone." And then I just realize that I'm just sad and #stillsingle and then I feel like a huge jerk. (Side note: I love hashtags. Hashtags are a genius result of the internet.) Or those really vague, miserable statuses where you read them and then you're all like, "Is this person going to jump off a bridge later? Like, should I call this guy up?" I'm not really being serious about all this stuff, and I don't actually care about it that much, I'm just having one of those days where I wanted to see if anyone else feels the same way I do, because a lot of the time I get this feeling like I'm the only human person with these weird feelings and that makes me feel like I'm actually meant to be a cat or a lamp or something. Help.
     That's all I have to say. Writing in this blog makes me feel better about my life. Goodnight.
   

The World, Man.

     Hello! Man, I miss this blog. I've decided that I'm actually going to start forcing myself to write at least once a week a) because I feel like I'm a large asshole for being so lazy about something that I really care about, and b) it'll just make me a better writer in the long run, so I think that's important for my career and life and all that jazz. I'm also going to start posting all of my blog spurts on Facebook so they're more easily accessible and the poor users of the internet don't have to sleaze around looking for my posts, because I feel like that's too much work for something with such minimal progress. Evan reads this blog, though, so, you rule, Evan. Keep being you.
    For those of you who don't know me very well/aren't close to me personally/have better things to do than know where I am, I'm in Pennsylvania, USA. I'm here for two weeks with my family and it's been fresh. My family is neat and I like that I get to spend so much time with them. So, my family has been really nice. America, on the other hand, I'm not too sure about. I'm going to try to write this in the least offensive sense I can possibly muster from inside my brain because I'm not trying to be offensive, this is just an observation of a Canadian visitor.
     Now, I've been to the USA before and I've done my thing. But this time has been different. In my other American experiences, I've been with Canadians. I've been with a shit ton of Canadian teenagers who didn't give a fuck and just kept on being Canadian and didn't talk to any Americans to a large extent and it was totally fine. We saw the sights and we danced the dance and it was all fine and good. Such is not the case on this trip. I've had long, extended conversations with at least seven Republicans and it was really hard, guys. I guess my issue here is not with America (it's kind of with America - I'll talk about that later on), but with this mindset that the people I spoke to have. There are two things that they stressed more than anything during our conversations: God and war. I won't be discussing God because freedom of religion, amirite? During this trip, I read "1984" by George Orwell and there literally could not have been a more relevant book to read. There were a few times when I actually had to get up and leave a conversation because I couldn't stand to be around people that talked this way. It legitimately scared me to hear it. First off, let me give you some background: every single person I had talked to had served in the military. Coming from Canada, this is not something you regularly hear about. In fact, I only know, personally, one person from Canada who served in the military. These were seven different people who ALL happened to serve. All of these men were Republicans who saw the military as their responsibility. They believed that it was up to them to "kill for their freedom". That's a real live quote. You hear about this stuff in movies and books and junk, but actually meeting a person, MULTIPLE PEOPLE, who believed that this (freedom) is still an issue blew my mind. I understand defense to a degree, and I know that America might be in danger, but freedom is really not a thing anymore. We're as free as we're going to be over here, you know? And if anything is holding Americans back from more freedom, it's only their regressive attitude in terms of where their country is at politically. I just don't understand this want for invasion. One man told me a story of his son who had been driving in a convoy of military vehicles. The first vehicle was suddenly struck by a suicide bomber in a car. The men were fine. They found out later that the vehicle behind them had caught the whole thing on tape. In the corner of the screen as they were watching back, they saw that an innocent civilian on a bike had been blown to pieces. His son laughed as he was telling the story, like it was a joke. I'm not trying to make these people sound evil, nor am I making any excuse for them by writing this part, I'm just stating a fact. I talked to my family members that I'm travelling with about the attitude that these people have, and they told me to let it go. "Oh yeah, you know, women are still paid 30 cents less an hour than men and a rape occurs every nine minutes in India, but whatever, I think I'll just let that go." No. It made me sick. Like, the whole of the human race and it's health and future didn't, in fact, depend on America getting it's giant ass military nose out of places it doesn't belong. This mindset is creating monsters, you know? We're feeding the war machine. There is no doubt in my mind that these men were brainwashed into thinking this kind of behavior was normal for Americans; American soldiers, especially. Like this is how Americans are supposed to act. I was told (I didn't know this and I feel like this is something that people should learn in their Social Studies classes) that soldiers on the front line will never in their lives know how many people they have killed while on duty. A lot of meat-eaters are okay with eating meat as long as it's in the form of a hamburger with cheese and they don't have to go out with a bow and arrow, murdering their prey themselves. Ignorance is bliss, right? Of course being in the military is okay, as long as it's like a video game. As long as you can shoot for hours and hours and never know the damage you've done. I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful, I'm actually just genuinely worried about what kind of people this process is creating. How can a person come back from this? Can they?
     When I was younger and told that America and Canada were allied, I thought that was really nice. In my child-like brain I thought, "Man, it is so cool of the USA to let Canada be friends with them. They are so important." On a drive home from a relative's house, I was trying to think of an analogy for the way I feel about the relationship between America and Canada now (in strict terms of government actions and political policies - I'm definitely not referring to the people of America as a whole), and I figured it out. Canada and America are sisters. They've grown up beside each other, sharing ideas and borrowing clothes and food and money from each other. America is the younger sister and sometimes she can be grumpy. She gets jealous of Canada, and Asia, and Africa because they have things that she doesn't have, like diamonds and silk, etc. America then throws a tantrum. At first, Canada tries to help and calm her down. Canada tries to negotiate a deal with America so that she'll stop freaking out, but it doesn't work. After a while, and after many episodes, Canada has finally given up and she just lets America do what she needs to do, even if that means taking every single thing she can from Asia and Africa and all the other girls in the world. Of course, Canada still loves America and is there for her when she needs help, but Canada has learned to just look on with a knowing smirk.
     I know that there are many parts of America that are abundant with people who have different ideas and knowledge. Some of the most amazing inventions and theories have come out of America. I would love to see as much of the USA as I possibly can before I die. This blog post wasn't written to force everyone in America into a box. This post was written to make people take a step back and think about this shit. Does America need a military? Why do they need a military? Did they, in fact, bring all of this turmoil upon themselves? Does Canada need a military? Why are we still fighting? Why aren't people questioning the government and each other?
     This is the stuff that runs through my mind. These are all merely thoughts and things that I've come across during my experience here. Again, offending any American people is the last thing I'm trying to do. This isn't aimed at people, this is aimed at policy. All I'm trying to do is create a thought process about these issues because I think they're important. You can disagree with me, agree with me, be furious at me - whatever. Just think about it and comment if you want! Thanks for the read.
   

After This, We'll Be Best Friends.

     Hi, guys. I'm having a terrible time right now. Wanna hear about it? Cool. I hope you understand that what I write in this blog isn't even stuff that I actually say out loud, which may actually be really negative for my soul, but bear with me for now, okay? I'll get to the point where I can actually be as rude/boisterous/emotionally stimulating/courageous as I am on here in real life in my own time. Honestly, I'm kind of writing this post to get some sort of feedback on what I should do here.
     First of all, I'm having an awful time being inspired to do anything that I care about. I used to do so many good things, you know? I fucking painted all the time, wrote songs, rode my bike, read books, did origami, had arguments, etc. and now I don't do any of that, and I'm really trying to figure out why. I don't even read BOOKS anymore, guys. I used to read all the damn time and now I don't even want to. Well, maybe that isn't true, but I haven't found anything to be interesting enough to read in a long time. My main theory right now is that I'm kind of just waiting to start school and that, once I start school, I'll kind of get back into my groove, you know? But I'm just not sure, and it's the "not knowing" thing that terrifies me. Because I really liked who I used to be and I don't entirely like the person I'm turning into now, and I really want to change that, but I'm not motivated and it is TOTALLY KILLING ALL OF MY VIBES. So that's my first issue with myself - take it or leave it.
     My second thing is that I think I'm too angry. I was thinking about it today, and I realized that if I had to pick a personality type to describe myself, I would probably pick "passive aggressive". And I truly don't believe that's a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if maybe I should take a break for a few minutes and just appreciate something - like, appreciate anything, really. I went to a rad concert last night and while I was watching it, crying my fucking face off, I was all, "Jenelle, this is why you're alive. You have to remember how this feels and transfer it to other parts of your life. You have to make things better. You have to appreciate other things." And that made me feel good! Because I was addressing the situation and I had a lot of hope, you know? I still kind of feel that today, but I don't feel the same spark, and I don't know how to get it back.
     I just "Stumbled" onto a page combatting teen pregnancy and got really mad and thought, "Well, what if those teens want to be pregnant? Fuckhead internet." And then I realized that was totally irrational and maybe I need to evaluate my life a little bit. I know that being an agitator is a positive thing in a lot of ways (in most ways), but sometimes I wonder if I'm too focused on being mad and maybe not focused enough on being happy? This is my dilemma.
     I don't want you to click away from this post thinking, "Man - Jenelle is really down on herself! She's not the confident, bad-ass bitch I thought I knew." Don't think that at all. I still think I'm fucking rad, I'm just kind of in a pickle right now and I'm trying to figure out how to solve it, and some friendly advice from people who care enough to read my blog would be refreshing. This probably should have just been a diary thing, but I don't like diaries and I really don't have one, so I'm giving my heart and soul to the internet in hopes of an answer. Without religion, the internet is all us atheists have, amirite? That was probably inappropriate. I'm going to stoop back into my late-night loneliness and let you cool cats get some sleep. Thanks for reading my internal frustrations that I spewed out onto the beginnings of my writing career. Hit me up with some answers, stand-in Jesus. Goodnight.

"Holy Actual Crap, Guys." (The Title of My First Book on Patriarchal Disdain.)

     Hey kids! Guess who's angry again?
     A friend of mine received this from a middle-aged male stranger at a bus stop today.

     The placement of this picture on my post is disgusting (I don't do pictures often), but that isn't the point. Just read this and let it sink in for a second. Now, forget all of the religious garbage. I don't think religion really has anything to do with the opinions of this man, I think it's just something for him to hide behind. Let's get down to the brass tax here. My friend was "rewarded" with this discriminatory note because she was wearing relatively modest clothing. Being modest is cool, guys - whatever. If a person wants to be modest, she should be modest and that's that. That isn't my issue. Correction - that isn't my ISSUES (fuck grammar right now). I don't even know where to begin. You know, I'm gonna make a list. Here we go:

1. "...Satan's influence...". Satan, who is probably a better soul than this man, has nothing to do with clothing. Satan doesn't have anything to do with anything. Satan is a figment of religious peoples' beliefs. Satan does not choose what a woman wears, a woman chooses what she wears - OBVIOUSLY. To shame a woman into thinking that choosing certain clothing makes her like/affiliates her with Satan in any way is a disgusting act, and that alone makes me want to punch this man right in his central belief system. Luckily for my friend, though, she didn't "succumb to Satan's influence", so at least she's safe, right? Fuck.
2. "...shaming and degrading yourself in wearing revealing and inappropriate clothing". Because that's what shame is - being scantily clad. Shame and degradation definitely are not a result of insulting women with condescending pieces of paper - oh no! Shame and degradation stem directly from women doing what they want with their freedom of choice. You know, maybe all women should have a uniform for each season to prevent their hellish behaviour, because apparently people can't deal with seeing our ankles or wrists. Maybe we should all wear head-to-toe body suits? But those would probably be too form-fitting... Maybe all women should just stay inside to prevent anyone being offended by ARMS. 
3. "Thank you for respecting yourself enough...". Give me a fucking break. Are you serious, dude? The amount of fabric on my body in no way represents the amount of respect I have for myself or for others. How can you assume something so horrid just by glancing in my direction? I dare this jerk-off to give women a written an explanation as to why it's okay for us to be bombarded by half-naked women constantly in advertising but it isn't okay for us to wear clothes that don't cover every bit of skin on our bodies, and also, why he is free to wear whatever type of shirt he wants, but if we wear shirts that are shorter than our elbows, we're the spawn of fucking Satan. I bet that if he was forced to explain this, he would find fault in his own reasoning even without anyone else saying anything about it. OPEN YOUR EYES, MAN. Self-respect is to clothes as the colour of the sky is to how fast a train moves: completely irrelevant on every level.
4. The bolded words and the fucking lollipop. As was already pointed out by my Facebook pals, it isn't enough that he insulted every woman in the world by creating this note, but he also had the audacity to help us with our literacy because we're obviously too stupid as a species to understand what certain words mean. And oh, hey! Here's a piece of candy because I'm a man and you're a woman and I'm higher above you in societal ranking and you need a reward for acting the way I want you to act! Good dog! 

     To top off my daily dose of patriarchal garbage, a WOMAN who is no longer my Facebook friend as of twenty minutes ago made a status along the lines of, "If you're going to wear low-cut shirts and booty shorts, you should expect that people are going to judge you. Stop complaining." I'm so furious right now, I can't even deal. As a woman - no, as a PERSON - I have the right to wear anything I want to wear in the universe. I can wear a sari, corduroy pants, a swimming suit, or nothing at all, and that should be okay. To this whole "stop disrespecting yourself", "you should expect this sort of attention", "remain modest" bullshit, I would like to say a big ol' fashioned FUCK YOU. Equality, guys. We, as women, do not need any patriarchal reinforcement telling us that we're "doing it wrong"; that we aren't being "proper". My definition of what is right is exactly that - MY definition. My friend's is hers. We do not need your opinion and we don't need your attitude, okay? Just butt out. Our wardrobes are not your business and you should be ashamed of yourself for thinking otherwise. We're not asking for anything, be it your opinion, your thoughts, your feelings, or your penis - any of it. No one is asking for any of that just by being in public! If a person wants that from you, she will ask, you know? With words. Also, having people make comments about our bodies is not our fault ever. Society makes men (and women too, actually) think it's okay for them to say or do whatever they want when I'm dressed a certain way and that's false. The fact that people don't question these social norms put in place by the patriarchy really freaks me out. The fact that this middle-aged stranger thought that it was okay to even THINK about MAKING any sort of note like this scares me. These are the people that are holding us back, and that makes me really sad because they don't even know they're doing it, you know? Society has raised to them think that it's okay and that we, as women, have to just accept these judgements and move on. We don't and we shouldn't be expected to. We should be able to do, say, and wear whatever we want without people telling us that we're wrong. Yeah, maybe sometimes we are wrong, but who's business is that but our own? And when it comes to clothing, I'm sorry, but we can never be wrong. You wear those pink leg warmers and that nasty yellow knit sweater, girl! It's your choice and that's all. 

     This post isn't as nicely put together as I hoped it would be, but I'm just really angry at the world so that's my excuse. I just hope that one day, all of the women who were given these disgusting notes, or any sort of equivalent, rise up and tell people about it and that maybe it'll convince them even more than the REST OF THE WORLD already has, that we need feminism. We need feminism bad, y'all. That's all I have to say about that right now. Thank you for your time. 

To Wed Or Not To Wed...

     Hey kids! I hope all is well. I've been really bad at remembering to write my blog lately. I'm in a weird point in my life where I'm kind of just drifting through, waiting for school to start. Working is not for me, guys. I feel like that really messes up what I'm supposed to do with my future. Whatever, I'll just go to school until I'm ninety-nine and then die with mass amounts of debt. Realistic.
     I want to talk about why I am completely neutral to the notion of marriage.
     For a long time, I disagreed with marriage hard. I figured that anything created, at the start, to rule women and make them the property of men had to be fucked. I thought, "Hey! That kind of stuff shouldn't be happening at all." And I'm right, and I still feel that way, but I recently read this article and it kind of changed my mind about a few things. Now, before I begin, I want to repeat what I said earlier: I'm completely indifferent when it comes to marriage, even though I'm definitely arguing for marriage in this post. The article I read was focused a lot on gay marriage, but it applies to all people, I think. The basic idea of the article was to say that gay people aren't ruining marriage, ALL people are ruining marriage, but also that it needs to be ruined. Marriage began as a business, basically. It was all about property, rules, materials, etc. It has evolved a lot over time according to the beliefs of people in certain areas of the world. For example, even in our current times, marriage as we know it here is drastically different than marriage in China or marriage in Egypt, even. The article I read was basically saying that if we look at the origin of marriage and how far we've come from that, we have, technically speaking, "ruined" marriage. People blaming homosexuals for ruining marriage are right, in a sense. But it's not only homosexuals who have ruined marriage. Polygamists, people who participate in hand-fasting ceremonies, people who have weddings that include elements of both, for example, Christianity and Islam due to the people being wed having different backgrounds, etc. have also "ruined""marriage" (Quotations, gosh). We're at the point in history where marriage can literally be whatever the hell anyone wants it to be and that IS SO AWESOME. We've ruined marriage, yeah, and it's the best thing we could have done. Marriage began as a patriarchal, judgemental load of shit and now it can be anything. So when people say they disagree with marriage, I respect that, sure. But I do wonder if maybe people disagree with the origins of marriage and that's why they're so unwilling to give it a shot today? Women can propose, women can marry women, people can get married UNDERWATER IN SCUBA SUITS, okay? There are so many options now. I feel like the definition of "marriage" in our time is literally people declaring that they love each other. That's it. Marriage doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be! The possibilities are endless! And that's why I don't give a fuck anymore. Sure, when marriage was an under-the-table handshake between a son and a father and a woman was tossed into uncertainty with a dowry in tow, that was nasty. Now it's anything, you know? So, who am I to say, "Hey! That man can't marry that woman! That woman can't marry that woman! Those two people can't marry their dogs to each other!", you know? It's not my business. People are gonna get married until the end of time, because people like to fall in love, and I think that's rad.
     Anyways, that's kind of all I have to say about that right now. I just think that it's really nice when people love each other and they should be able to do whatever they want about that love, you know? Let it run wild, or whatever.
     Coincidentally, as I'm writing this, my sister is eating a plate of ribs. She just looked over at me and said, "If ribs could talk, I would marry them." Have a nice day! Get married or don't!

I Said Nice Stuff. Weird.

     I got a text today that said "Are you on a blog sabbatical?" which I thought was hilarious. Hi, everyone. Sorry I haven't written in so long! I just moved back home for the summer and I've been busy with choir and I'm now working seven days a week, so my mind is kind of all over the place. This is me catching up! How have you been? The blogs I follow aren't exactly teeming with new posts either, so I don't feel too bad. Plus only a handful of people read the crazy stuff that I write. But I appreciate that handful! I appreciate that handful a whole bunch! So thanks, y'all. 

     I have a few things I'd like to write about today, so fasten your fucking seat belts. 

     First of all, I'd like to say that I just erased a huge paragraph about how angry I am (*a round of applause for the young cynic*). I'm angry, but I'm going to deal with it by myself because I don't find it necessary to bring you guys into my personal life in that regard today. I have better things to say, so I'm going to roll with that. Jesus, I'm proud of myself right now. 

     Here we go: So, if any of you know me relatively well, you'll know that I'm obsessed with a TV show called "Adventure Time". I don't have much to say about it except that a) it's radical, and b) there's a lot of sneaky life lessons in it that I really value. The show was created for children by Pendleton Ward. At first, I wasn't sure if it really was for kids because there's a lot of stuff that is questionable (funny, disgusting, and deep, but questionable), but I was informed by an expert friend of mine that the show was, in fact, created for children and that made me love it a billion times more. The way that Ward presents ideas about life to kids is so perfect. For example, in the episode "Mortal Folly" Finn wears a pink sweater with an embroidered heart on it that Princess Bubblegum made for him. It helps him to defeat the Lich (the villain of the episode). I love that this is in the show! Ugh! Finn the Human, a thirteen year-old boy, is wearing a pink sweater that helps him conquer evil. If I were a young kid watching this show I would be all like, "Awe yeah! Pink is powerful! Pink isn't weak!" (as is taught by the average society member to younger generations). That's such a great message for young boys and young girls. Boys learn that pink is cool and it's okay for them to wear it, and girls learn that they shouldn't have to be ashamed of their femininity. In another episode, "All The Little People", Finn and Jake are sitting on top of a hill discussing relationships, wondering who would make a good couple. Jake tells Finn that relationships aren't about science (biology) but about the "pumps-n'-bumps" of a person's heart. Finn then suggests that BMO and the Ice King would make a good couple (both males). Jake is confused and says that would be weird, prompting Finn to tell him to not be so "judgy". Right there, Ward just told kids that two people of the same sex can love each other, plain and simple, and it's okay. And that you shouldn't be "judgy". At the end of the episode, which is all about miniature figures of everyone in the Land of Ooo, miniature Ice King and BMO hit it off, which just adds to the cuteness of the episode, totally. Lastly, and most favourite-ly (?), we have Lumpy Space Princess. The voice of Lumpy Space Princess is done by none other than Pendleton Ward himself, which often leads people to think that she's a male. There's a theory that LSP may not be a real princess due to the fact that in the episode "The Lich" all of the other princesses crown jewels fit into the Enchiridion but hers does not. My favourite thing about LSP is that she's so damn confident. She looks like a floating purple cloud and refers to her "lumps" very often, leaving the viewer to assume that her lumps are her womanly curves. She believes she's incredibly hot and doesn't let anyone tell her any different. I just love that there's a role model like that for kids, you know? She's not necessarily feminine or masculine, but she's crazy confident anyway, and I think that's really nice for all kids to see. I guess I did have a lot to say about that. Huh. Anyways, watch "Adventure Time" because it's freaking cute and make sure all of your younger siblings, cousins, babysittees, etc. watch it too. Ward knows what's up. 

     So here's the other half of my post: I went out for a nice little dinner date with a friend last night and we got to talking about our futures. FUTURES. So much stress, guys, for real. She's a history major and wants to be a museum curator eventually, which I think is just so rad. She was also telling me, though, that she's worried about not getting a job and not making money, which is totally understandable. AND I HATE IT. I can't even begin to express how frustrated I am that people who choose to go into the arts, who study the beauty of the world, are in danger of being unemployed. I have nothing against engineering and don't take it the wrong way when I say this, but it makes me really mad that a kid can go to school for engineering for four years and build bridges forever and make double the money that I'll ever make even though I'm passionate about my work and I'll more than likely have an effing PhD. I know that there's no point in complaining about this because it's just the way capitalism rules the lives of its slaves, but do you get how frustrating that is? My goal is to write books. That's all I want to do. But in order to live, I'm going to have to get a PhD and volunteer and go out of my way to gain enough experience for such a feat and to be successful in it (probably a total of ten years just for school). I just need to live in a world where the arts are of equal value to business, engineering, medicine, etc. It's not going to happen, but a girl can dream, can't she? The reason I'm writing this part is not to complain, necessarily (that just happens by default because I'm negative), but to say that I'm proud of people who choose to do what they're passionate about. Take my choir conductor, for example. He's built this incredible empire of choirs with a phenomenal reputation and has also created a career for himself in the process. He's doing what he loves and he's definitely one the happiest people I've ever met. Seeing people like him helps me realize that I'm doing the right thing, you know? Even though I probably won't have enough money to have copious amounts of cats, sadly, I'll be satisfied in my heart with my choice. I'm not pursuing writing for any other reason than my pure love for it. Instead of trying to choose a career that leaves room for my hobbies, I plan on making my hobby into a career, and what could be better than that? After all of my teachers who hated teaching preaching to me about "doing what you love, blah, blah, blah", it took physically SEEING the teachers who sincerely loved what they were doing to help me make up my mind. It takes seeing those kind of people who actually love their lives to understand what is important. So, if you wanna do the arts, do the freaking arts, y'all. Give it a go! Do what you think will satisfy you on a personal level, not a financial one. That's all I have to say about that. 

     This was a weird post because I expected to write my big angry rant, but I didn't and I wrote about...nice...things? Whaaaaat. That doesn't usually happen, so you're welcome, kids. I hope you have a good day and I hope you write a book too. Bye!  

"'Life': A Diary Entry, At Best." (Title Of My First Book)

     I'm at my parents' house and I'm sitting by a warm fireplace. I was about to go to bed but then I got all emotional and stuff, so here I am.
     Sometimes I get really distracted by silly things. Sometimes I worry too much about the shape of my eyebrows, or how my boss will feel about me if I call in sick, or how much money I'm spending on chocolate a month. Sometimes I rant too much or get too angry about things that are out of my control. Sometimes I forget to look at the bigger picture.
     I'm not trying to be artistic with this post or anything, I just have a lot of fucking feelings that I can't really seem to sort out or make sense of. And I know that probably just makes the bulk of this post that much more confusing, but go with me here, okay? Right now, sitting in front of this fire at my parents house, I feel content. I have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. I have no idea how drastically my feelings might change overnight. I have no idea in what condition my eyebrows will be tomorrow. But, right now, I feel okay. I'm not happy and I'm not sad, but I'm grateful and I feel okay. I forget how lucky I am to be who I am, you know? I'm fucking rad and I have so much to be thankful for (parents, sister, cute cat pictures on the internet, my choir, my best friend, coffee, Project Free TV, etc.) and sometimes that slips my mind. Basically, the reason I'm writing this post tonight is to remind myself to remind myself of these things. Yeah, sometimes (most of the time) my life doesn't work out the way I want it to, but I try to roll with it. Yes, I cry a lot and I can't even bring myself to watch "Les Miserables" because I think I might shrivel into nothing and die afterwards from loss of water via my tear ducts (that's a secret; don't tell any of my choir friends I haven't seen it...). And yes, I take two showers a day (one in the morning and one at night) due to my self-diagnosed OCD (afore mentioned) and because it generally makes me feel better and helps me sleep. Yes, I eat, on average, 1-2 cartons of Ben and Jerry's a week. But you know, what would my life be like if it didn't have a downside? At least my flaws give me motivation to do better. My life is really great and sometimes that slips out of my sights, if you will.
     Maybe you've been having a really hard time too and maybe this will help you rediscover the beauty in your life (I repeat: PROJECT FREE TV). Or maybe this post was just for me - something to help me sort my thoughts and emotions. OR MAYBE THIS WHOLE POST WAS A LIE MWAHAHA. Jokes, it was all true. I wouldn't do that to you guys.
     Well, time for me to turn my brain off now. I hope this was at least slightly entertaining. And hey, now you know my whole life story, so that might be a cool thing. Anyways, just try to calm down and appreciate. Forget about stress and hate. Eliminate. And make a date. With fate. Wow, look at me go!
     I'm actually going to stop being crazy now and put myself in a place where I can no longer type weird spoken word poetry on my blog and wreck it forever. Goodnight.

The "V" Word.

     Good morning, dudes! This is something different for me - I usually don't write in the morning. But, I have the day off, it's sunny outside, and I don't want to deal with my actual real life/my problems. So, here we go.
     I've been thinking about "slut-shaming" a lot lately. Now, if y'all don't know what this means, the definition of "slut-shaming" is: "the act of making a woman feel guilty for displaying certain sexual behaviours that aren't typical to traditional gender roles." It can also be used to define the way that some women are blamed for their own rapes and sexual assaults based on the clothes that they were wearing or their previously sexually forward manner. (Thank you, Wikipedia, for clarifying.) Obviously, this is gross. I can't believe that after all of the research done on women and the reproductive systems of women explaining our ability to have multiple orgasms and our bodies' insatiable desire for sex, we are STILL put under this stigma that we are surely, generally, "non-sexual" beings, and that if a woman is very sexual it is out of character. That is just so damn silly. Give me a break. The worst part about it, I think, is not this, but the fact that individual women can't do whatever they want sexually without being judged for it, you know? Like, maybe I have two friends and one of them is a "virgin" (by that, I mean having had no sexual experiences; I will discuss my views on virginity later on) and has no desire to have sex whatsoever and the other is a flaming sex pot. Both of them are going to be judged based on their choices due to things such as age, career choice, religion, etc., but most of all, gender. It's so wrong! If my two friends are both happy with the way they're living their lives, then why should they have to change simply because of what other people want them to do? They're being put under this blanket statement that says women are supposed to want sex these ways, this is how women should be satisfied, and anything more or less is completely unacceptable.
     This takes me on to my "Anti-Person of the Week" portion of my blog post. Ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, Taylor Swift. This will be a small portion, since the only things I have to say are absolutely negative and what I'm trying to get at here is pretty plain. Usually, I don't like to hate on people, and I'm sure that (maybe?) Swift's mind could be changed if she were more educated, but for now, here we go. From the way she believes that fifteen year-old girls are all vulnerable, unassuming, and naive (listen to "Fifteen"), to her classic slut-shaming antics ("she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts" - therefore, she's obviously better, more pure, and less "slutty"), I've learned that T Swift is just a sad little person who got caught up in the terrible labels and discriminations that society is so insistent on handing out. In an interview, Swift was once asked if she identifies as a feminist. Her reply was simple; "I believe in equality, but I'm not a feminist." Well, I think that deserves a round of applause, don't you? First, indoctrinating little girls with your slut-shaming lyrics and then refusing to identify as a feminist because of the negative connotations? Bravo, Swift. You're a fucking winner.
     Lastly, I'd like to talk about the ridiculous concept of "virginity". Children are raised (especially religious children) with this title bestowed upon them. They are "virgins". "Virgins" are pure and completely void of sin. And once a "virgin" is ready to get married or bear children, his/her "virginity" is lost by having vaginal/penile intercourse, but, because it's through love and matrimony and between a man and a woman, that makes it okay. Now, in reality, this is what "virginity" looks like: You're fourteen and you find yourself in the woods with a certain boy/girl at a birthday party and things happen with hands and mouths and you're discovering your sexuality and it's lovely and exciting and new, but when it's over, you're left wondering, "Wait - am I still a virgin?" And then perhaps you feel guilty or dirty, because you feel as though some of your "purity" is gone and you're not sure if that's the way the concept of "virginity" is supposed to work. I just want to take a second and say, FUCK VIRGINITY (LOL. Pun not intended). It isn't real. The way that we are lead to believe that our bodies are for one person and one person only, that we can only "lose it" through one specific act (what about homosexuals?) at one specific time when we're all married up, but that other similar acts may tarnish our pure, white souls. Guys, this isn't right. This isn't the way the world works and I don't think being "pure" is something that should define how we feel about ourselves based on our sexuality or what we choose to do with our sexuality. I'm not saying that saving oneself for marriage is wrong; if you think that's for you, then do your thing, dude. What I'm saying is that it's terrible that adolescents feel as though they're ruining a part of themselves that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST by exploring what their bodies and hearts are curious about. There's nothing wrong with becoming, or not becoming, sexual beings in whatever way we decide to do so, and the only thing that "virginity" does for these people that are exploring is make them feel guilty about a part of their natural minds and bodies that they can't control. Also, if the concept of being a virgin didn't exist, then the chances of women being "slut-shamed" (by Taylor Swift and others) would be a lot less. There would be no ideal sexual being to compare these "sluts" to if we all just accepted that people choose to do what they want with their bodies and that's okay. So, that's why I think "purity" and "virginity" are a load of shit.
     I hope you all have a nice day. I'm out.
     

Why I Hate "Kinder Surprise": A Memoir

     Hey, kids! I hope everyone had a great spring break (too pedagogical?)! To start things off, I love you and your hair looked fabulous today. A quick update on my life: I've recently run out of Ben and Jerry's, so I have resorted to eating Greek yogurt which turns into real yogurt if you stir it a lot and I like that. Also, I shaved my legs, so that was cool.
     I think that the whole "society-based-around-gender" thing is really getting to me. I can't think about anything else. Whenever anyone in my life says anything, I immediately have to analyze whether or not it was prejudiced. This might have to do with my self-diagnosed OCD, but I'm also thinking that it's actually just ridiculous and I'm sick to death of people putting up with this point of view.
     For starters, on Easter, I received from my unassuming, beautiful, intelligent, independent relative a Kinder Surprise - for girls. My heart broke. I think I actually died a little bit inside. I had heard of these  from a friend and we discussed the topic pretty thoroughly. I have a few things to say about it. First of all, fuck you, Kinder Surprise. Fuck you for going along with the patriarchal assumption that girls are less intelligent and therefore we need to receive little kitty bracelets or miniature Barbie dolls as presents instead of stuff that we can actually build with our brains, you jerks. I hate you. Fuck you for making them pink and fuck you for creating a gender divide among a younger generation. I wish I could have presented that in a more polite manner, but it was impossible, so there you have it. Second of all, I'm really sad that my relative didn't see an issue with this. I have a seven year-old cousin whom I adore more than any other child I've ever known and I spent most of my Easter with him. He, of course, received a "boy" Kinder Surprise. When I opened mine and found a bracelet, I told him that I didn't want it and asked him if he waned it. He replied with a simple, "No, people would make fun of me." I said, "But I wouldn't make fun of you." And his final word on the subject was, "Not everyone is like you." I teared up a little. I feel like some of you might think that was an overdramatic response, but I don't. He's already been exposed to the opinion of society that he would be seen as "odd" or "not normal" if he wore a bracelet. He's been taught that there are boys and girls, and boys have boy toys and girls have girl toys and they don't mix. And that makes me really upset. He is, without a doubt, the smartest seven year-old I've ever known (he's beaten me at chess on several different occasions) yet society has already started to get the best of him. I guess the best I can do for him at this point is try to weasel myself into his life and continue to try to convince him that it would be okay for him to paint his toenails if he wanted to. Thirdly, and lastly, I'm really mad at myself for not saying anything about this. It's hard to correct someone who a) is older than you and has more life experience and b) you have a lot of respect for. The issue is, though, is that if my relative would have said, "Here's a Kindersurprise for the black kid and a different, better one for the white kid!", I would have freaked out, you know? Gender is such a touchy topic with so many people because, for some insanely idiotic reason, we aren't at the point yet where it's absurd for girls and boys to be treated as separate species. So, yes, I should have said something, and I'm still kicking myself. One of my personal goals is to become more vocal in my belief system, especially in situations like that. It's really tough to build up to, but I think that the more I do it, the easier it will become.
     I have a really hard time with stuff like this because even though parents and teachers and guardians don't think this kind of thing is harmful, it is. That's not even an opinion either, because there's evidence. How many young women are in school for engineering right now? I don't have any exact numbers handy, but I know, personally, five or six people who are taking engineering and not one of them is a girl. I'd say that's a pretty normal statistic in other schools and cities as well. The reason that a lot of women (myself included) believe that they cannot handle the academic challenges of engineering is that we grew up with this constant reminder that boys were better at that stuff. Boys got to play with Lego and cars, but we got to play with dolls and kitchens and tea sets. This is what we come familiar with and this is what we evolve into. I'm not saying that this is true for all women, but a fair amount of girls grow up in an environment where these are the play things that are readily available. (And I'm also not saying that being a wife or a mother as a profession is something that a woman should be ashamed of or looked down upon for. I believe that a socially conscious woman should be able to do whatever she wants to do, I'm just arguing this from a "forced-upon-us-by-the-patriarchy" standpoint.) A child doesn't bother to question why she is given certain toys; she's a child. This thoughtless indoctrination into a certain lifestyle isn't even at the fault of the parents. We, as women, are pressured by society into thinking that this is all we deserve and this is all we need; that we should be satisfied with domesticity. It's a really sad part of the world we live in. Imagine the incredible feats that could have been achieved by now if women were encouraged to do all of the things that men are encouraged to do. Does it make sense to deprive the world of the unique intellect of fifty percent of population solely based on the fact that this fifty percent contains a significant amount of uteri? No. No, it does not make sense. And, yes, every day new doors are opening and more women are becoming involved in science, mathematics, mechanics, etc. and that's fantastic! But how are we going to completely dissolve this gender divide if we still have stupidity such as separate Kinder Surprises for boys and girls? I'd like to propose a boycott against all toys, candies, books, etc. that are gender discriminative. Maybe tell your friends or relatives with young children about the problems it creates. It's hard to be so involved in peoples' lives, I know, but I feel like the importance of the issue kind of outweighs the privacy of parenthood in this aspect. I might be getting a little too "all-up-in-your-face" over here, but I'm tired and I just really care about this. Thanks for reading.
     And for the love of Darwin, please go buy some Ben and Jerry's so I can live vicariously through you. Goodnight.

Big Ol' Post About Books and Gender, Kids.

     Hola, friends! I'm always like, "Hey Jenelle, go to bed early, you nerd. You're going to be so tired at work tomorrow." And then I disregard my intelligent, sleep-deprived self and continue on doing things that make my brain work at twice it's natural rate. So, if I ever yell at you, it's out of pure insomnia-driven rage and that's all, okay? I still like you.
     I've got several things to say and all of them are restless, late-night thoughts, but they still mean something to me, so I'd like to share.
     I started reading this book a few hours ago and it's called "Self". It's by an author named Yann Martel ("Life of Pi") and it's bloody brilliant. I have so much to say about it and I'm only about sixty pages in. Have you ever tried reading a book when you were having a hard time or you were really mulling something over and the book just didn't fit with your current state/attitude? Yeah, this is the complete opposite of that. This book is exactly what I need to be reading in my life right now and I wish I had about fifty-one more copies that I could lend out to others so we could all read it at the same time and have feels and chats together. I haven't even gotten to the main plot line yet (I won't give it away but I already know it since it's on the back of the book for some ridiculous reason and I've already ruined the surprise for myself due to the publisher's stupidity...), but so far, the book is about a boy discovering his gender/sexuality. Until about the twentieth page, I had no idea whether or not the main character was a girl or a boy. I get this feeling from the book like the idea is for you to grow up with him and discover things along side him. He doesn't realize what gender is until kindergarten, partly because his parents are gods (I aspire to raise my children in this way exactly - see latter paragraphs) and partly because I feel that's the way all children see themselves until a certain point. We follow the character through his discovery of differences in gender, intellectual capacity, homosexuality, bullying, masturbation, etc. It's all there! And it's all fantastic! Every single adolescent has gone through this sort of self discovery and it's magnificent to relive it through the eyes of another person.
     As I already mentioned, the parents of the protagonist (still not sure whether or not he has any sort of name) are exactly what I long to be with my children. He explains how, through his childhood, they loved him the perfect amount. They never stuck their noses where they didn't need to be, but they were always in the background. His mother worked from home on her Ph.D and his father worked in an office. My most favourite thing about these dream parents is that the protagonist never felt as though there were gender roles in his home. He felt that his parents were both equally affectionate, equally hard-working and equally present. They both cooked equal amounts and neither of them were very good at it and he felt that he simply would never be able to pick a favourite parent because they were both integral to his life by the same degree. I think that's absolutely magnificent. Also, the fact that they never put a stress on gender allowed this child to be whoever he felt he needed to be. There was no added external pressure from his parents whatsoever, and I see that as being hugely important. If there's one thing I want my children to feel, it's freedom. I don't want my children to feel that they need to be anything they weren't meant to be. These parents also didn't have any sort of religious influence on their child. In the book, the protagonist moves from Paris to the United States during his early teenage years. On his first day of school, he gets called a "faggot" because his hair is long and this is what follows: "If a friend of mine in Paris had confessed that he was in love with a Simon or a Peter, I would have compared notes with him on my love for Mary Ann. Gender in matters of love struck me as of no greater consequence than flavours in ice cream. I imagine the absence of religion in my upbringing was one factor that had allowed this belief to survive." This young boy had no preconceptions of what a man or a woman "should" look like by society's standards because his parents didn't instil that sort of stereotypical bullshit in him from a young age. This kid was as free as they come, and that's more important to me than I can ever begin to explain.
     As a result of this freedom and some rad feminist parents (oh, did I forget to mention the parents are feminists too? Parents of the year over here...), the protagonist is fascinated by human sexuality. And not even in a strictly biological sense, but in a dream-like sense. He loves humans and the way they are. At this point in the book, there's no indication as to whether he prefers men or women or if he prefers one over the other at all, he's just fascinated by all human bodies. My favourite part so far, in this regard, is the instance in which he talks about female menstruation. Now, I haven't talked about this before and honestly, it's not because I don't think it's worth talking about, it's just because it never really crossed my mind. Menstruation has been a part of my life since I was very young and I just never think to talk about it because it's so regular to me. But this section of the book kind of opened my eyes to how lovely and lucky I am as a woman to have such a wonder inside of my body. His ideas on the subject: "Though for girls it seemed considerably less than a thrill, and certainly never an aesthetic or transcendental experience, I was always fascinated by the female menstrual cycle... I felt that there was a latent unity among women, a unity for which I could find no equivalent among boys, try as I might. We were orphans among sisters. A girl could fight and be nasty, mock and degrade, pour forth pure venom from her mouth, cut herself off from everyone - yet still be connected by that melody of blood."My word. If every single person could share that feeling of awe over such a primal bodily instinct, I don't know what the world would be like. Girls, if that passage doesn't make you feel deeply special and divine in your sisterhood, I don't know what will.
     This ambiguity between genders and sexualities and different types of love is really what I've been trying to figure out in my life over these past few weeks. I don't feel obligated to prove myself to anyone and that isn't why I'm going to say what I'm about to say, I just want to let you know where I stand as an individual. I'm a woman and I absolutely relish in being a woman. I like my body the way it is and I feel that I am personally in the right physical body to compliment my mind. I'm primarily attracted to men, but I'm also attracted to women on a different sort of level. I'm very comfortable with my sexuality. I know a lot of homosexual people, people who don't have any sort of preference, and people who don't really identify with any sexuality or gender at all. Reading this book has opened my eyes even more to this reoccurring question that I have with all of this - does it really matter? By that, I don't mean you shouldn't openly proclaim and be proud of who you are as an individual; I'm all for that! What I mean is, why shouldn't the people in my life who I love and care about deeply and feel for be able to do whatever they want to do without being judged? This whole "we-live-in-a-black-and-white-world-pick-one-or-the-other" bullshit that we've had to deal with up until now has gone too far. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's 2013, guys. We really need to get our junk together. I'm not trying to speak for others and I hope I'm not offending anyone who is directly affected by the sexual discrimination of our generation, I just hope that I can reach out to those who aren't already fighting for equality. We're all a minority in one way or another. I don't care if you're African, homosexual, straight, Hispanic, Canadian, bisexual, female, etc. You have the responsibility to stand up for others. When there's inequality in the system, we have to balance it out with love and awareness and stuff, you know? Bring equality to the attention of all of your friends. Whether it's marriage for all, inequality in women's salaries, white-only golf courses in the U.S., illegal abortion in some states, etc. Just get the word out there.
     I know a lot of this post (most of this post) is excerpts from "Self", but reading is cool, man. Get out there and snatch yourself a copy of this book. Put on your reading glasses and do some digging in any old hunk of pages, for that matter! I'm sure you'll find something that will speak to you the way that "Self" is speaking to me. I hope you all sleep a lot more than I do - that would make me really happy. Call someone you love and tell them, okay? Bye.